Archive | Oh the Stories I Can Tell… RSS feed for this section

Life Lessons on MARTA

12 Jul

So, at lunch, I decided to take a trek on MARTA to support a friend (Black Tie BBQ – check them out for delish food!!), and as fate would have it, I’d have a lightbulb moment randomly.  Which makes sense.  I live by randomness, it seems.

Anywho, on to the lesson.  Currently, I’m reading Blackgammon, which is the story of two black American women who are searching for love (or maybe running from it) and freedom in Europe. The book has been right on time, so naturally, I was really into it when it was time for me to change trains at Five Points.  As I stood on the platform waiting for a westbound train, enthralled by my book, I heard the whir of a train pass me.  I looked up and saw the lights of the train leaving me.  Oh no! I thought…  I have to wait 6 whole minutes for the next train.  Sheesh!  Me and this dangblasted book.  How in the world did I completely not hear the train when it arrived?  (Another reason is because it was a short train–the Bankhead train, which is about half the size of a normal MARTA train and I was too far down on the platform.)

So I moved closer to the center of the platform and took a seat and began reading again, careful to glance up every minute or so at the sign announcing the wait time for the next train.  The next train came. Something felt very wrong about it as I stood there missing another train.  Then it dawned on me!  I wasn’t supposed to catch that train–it’s going in the wrong direction!  I was supposed to be waiting on the eastbound train!!  Too hot (and lazy) to run, I took my time and went around the station to get to the eastbound platform.  And sure enough, when I got to the platform, a train came.  Right on time.

<MESSAGE!>

In life, sometimes things seem to be going right and then suddenly, something happens to derail all of it and you’re left wondering “How in the world did that happen?”  Or sometimes although things are great, you come to a unexpected juncture, and you think you’re going the right way, but then you realize that way has a barbed wire fence blocking it.  Maybe, just maybe, it’s there for a reason. Maybe that missed out opportunity wasn’t what you were supposed to be doing anyway.  Maybe it would have taken you in the wrong direction, on to the wrong path.  Maybe once you realize that and go to where you need to be, what you need will be there, waiting on you–always right on time.

Disappointments come.  They’re a part of life.  But the perspective surrounding those disappointments can be positive if you remember that everything happens for a reason and the way they’re supposed to.  You just need to be aware and open for some clarity and enlightenment.

There’s a reason for everything that comes and goes…

Be true to you.

24 Jun

I got an extremely random set of text messages today, and it got me thinking. I want to share with you my conclusion from the exchange.

Lesson of the Day:  Be true to yourself. Consider advice from others, but make your own decisions. Follow your own heart and conscience.  At the end of the day, no one will live with ur regrets but you. So why be bound by other people’s opinions?

I was blessed to have parents who believed in letting me be me.  When I was faced with the decision of whether or not to skip my senior year of high school and start college at 16, my mom said, “This one is on you.  I’m not going to make this decision for you and have you resenting me one day if you don’t do what you really want.”  I will always remember those words.

I truly believe everything happens as they are supposed to–but how we feel about all of everything depends on several factors.  Attitude and perspective (during and after the fact) are part of it, but our regrets play a major role as well.

Listen up.  You only have one life.  Live it the way you’re led to live it.  Don’t depend on anyone else to bestow upon you the dreams they have.  Accept the ones God puts inside of you, and pursue those.  Don’t wait for anyone’s permission.  DO YOU.

Story of the Chase

7 Jun

So I mentioned a couple of days ago that an ex of mine was chased through North Jackson.  A couple of people asked for that story.  What I didn’t mention was that I was in the car!  I went to my old blog and found this story and am just pasting it here.  I told it on 9/16/03.  It happened late 1998.  This incident occurred about a year before we dated–at the time, he was my best guy pal.  Here goes–enjoy.  All in “the life and times”–lol.

Per request of my readers, I have to write about the psycho ho I started talking about yesterday morning. Well, December of my freshman yr, my car was in the shop so my guy friend picked me up from work. We were planning to go by the hospital first to visit his cousin who has sickle-cell anemia, and then he would take me home. Well, we eventually got to the hospital but not after a whole lotta drama. While on the way to the hospital that girl, with whom he was no longer with or so he still says, saw us. I dunno if it was the fact that he had a girl in his car that made her snap and lose her senses or if she actually saw me.

Anyway, she started chasing us, so he tried to lose her by quickly getting in a turn lane and getting on the interstate. Well, like in a horror movie, that didn’t lose her. So he got off of the interstate with the rationale that he would go to his grandma’s house so that his grandma could deal with her craziness. Oh, I forgot to say that you should picture all this in heavy rain and hail. So we were stopped at a stop light and she proceeded to hit us with her car. That’s when I got scared. I was like it’s terrible weather out here and this “ho” is tryna kill us–we could have hydroplaned or something. While fear striked for me, anger struck for my friend. He kept driving to his grandma’s house. There is a stop sign before you get to his house. She sped up, got in front of us, and slammed on her brakes, trying to get him to hit her. He luckily had already been slowing down, so we didn’t hit her, but he was like, “Lock the doors,” and got out of the car. As soon as he got out, she got out and jumped on him. Well, he was brought up not to hit women in any circumstances, so he just put her in one of those football holds and carried her all the way to his house. By the way, he was also the star quarterback for his high school. Anyway, I was sitting in the car in disbelief as the rain and hail beat down on the car. Finally, he came back down the street and took me home.

Later, after everybody’s heartbeat was back to normal, we went on to the hospital, although I was kinda scared. He later told me that wasn’t the first time she went psycho, and I got pissed about that. We ended up not talking for awhile, why I can’t even remember, but I heard through some mutual friends that she had thrown a brick at his car at school a couple of months later… Forgive me for remembering so many details, but I just had never, haven’t since, (and hopefully won’t ever) experienced anything like that. No man is worth all that–tearing up my car, putting my life in immediate danger, setting myself up to be arrested for attempted vehicular homicide or something? Hell naw.

Update: No, I’ve not experienced anything else as crazy since.  Whew.  Hope you’re all having a mellow Monday.

I want it all!

4 Jun

From the time I thought that boys were no longer icky and were worthy of interest, endless thoughts, and daydreams, I’ve always had a “type”.  Of course, physical characteristics were always important–my mom always told me “you have to wake up to him in the morning” and “you need to think of your kids.” But if we took a look at all the guys I’ve ever crushed on or dated, I think one thing they mostly all had in common was that they were strong personalities dipped in lots of charm.  I don’t know what it is, but I’ve always liked that guy who loves (or at least is comfortable in) the spotlight, knows everybody there is to know, and spends his time mapping out and taking action toward his passions.  And many times I’ve blamed this insatiable desire for my dating woes.  The guys I actually liked back were the guys with girls chasing them down the block (no, really–one ex had a girl chase him down State St, 220, and Northside Drive in Jackson in a car, but that’s another story) and doing whatever they can to divert his attention; the guys whose dreams were so big that they didn’t know how or didn’t want to juggle, and I never knew if I’d ever be a sizable priority in their lives.

Yet, I have not been willing to (or maybe even able to) take this characteristic off my “list”.  There’s just something about a guy who has mastered his social skills and oozes a certain self-confidence and who is all about doing something major while he’s on earth that makes me fan myself. And I’m fine with that.  Why? Because I think as we get older, I’m more likely to find the sharp, charismatic guy who is that able to provide me with the balance that has been missing for so long (and yes this is an ambiguous statement–I need help with my own balance and he needs to have some level of balance on his own).  We’re all growing into ourselves, right? So once we know what we want, including our partner–don’t we do want we have to do to manage all things important?

So I said all that to introduce an interesting Twitter convo that made me say hmmm.

JHJeffers: RT @DGJ_1977: RT @RHYMEFEST: So ladies be careful what you ask for, because loving ambitious, charismatic & powerful men comes with a cost.

Me: Which is? RT @JHJeffers: RT @RHYMEFEST: So ladies be careful what u ask for bc loving ambitious, charismatic & powerful men comes w a cost.

JHJeffers: @NadaJo: Powerful men often have a strong desire to control and have egos that are out of this world

Me: A few r humble but I can c it RT @JHJeffers @NadaJo: Powerful men often have a strong desire to control&have egos that are out of this world

JHJeffers: @NadaJo ‎​Charismatic men are super flirtatious and sometimes cross the line

Me: I see RT @JHJeffers: @NadaJo ‎​Charismatic men are super flirtatious and sometimes cross the line

JHJeffers: @NadaJo Ambitious men spend long hours working, Sometimes @ the expense of marriage

Me: Mm hmm RT @JHJeffers: @NadaJo Ambitious men spend long hours working, Sometimes @ the expense of marriage

Me: @JHJeffers so basically we ladies who like pwrful, charismatic, ambitious men need to also pray that he has humility, self-ctrl, and balance

Me: #icandothat

JHJeffers: @NadaJo: Yeeeaaaahhhhh, but I would just shoot for 2 out of 3 #imjustsaying

HarlemFaith: (Well said) RT @NadaJo so we ladies who like pwrful, charismatic, ambitious men need to pray he has humility, self-ctrl, and balance

HarlemFaith: @NadaJo I don’t know if I agree with everything @jhjeffers is saying.. but it’s interesting.

Me (knowing this will turn into a blog post, maybe even a series cuz this is getting good! heehee): What do u think? RT @HarlemFaith: @NadaJo I don’t know if I agree with everything @jhjeffers is saying.. but it’s interesting.

HarlemFaith: @NadaJo @jhjeffers I don’t like the fact that the argument seemed so segmented and over generalized. Yes, those characteristics make ppl

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers successful but powerful men(and women) in lasting relationships know when to turn them on and off.

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers too much of anything is bad…. and there’s a time and place for everything.

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers… I want my man to be just as ambitious as I am.. (and he is) when we are together that energy is directed towards me.

HarlemFaith: For a while, me and many of my counterparts were told that our ambitious, agressive personalities were the reason we didn’t have a man

HarlemFaith: I disagree.. I think there is a time and place for anything. and the key to a successful relationship without losing who you are is figuring out how to channel that intense energy.. and use it for good. lol. Use those same skills to please your man.

HarlemFaith: I’m a big proponent of playing my “position”. I can be your woman (opinionated and all) but still allow you to be the man.

Me: YES! RT @HarlemFaith I’m a big proponent of playing my “position”. I can be ur woman (opinionated & all) but still allow you to be the man.

The convo is still going on.  But I’ll do a poll.  Can we (I) have it all?  Is it possible to have what we want plus the balance needed to make the relationship last and thrive?  Do we have to choose between the power, charisma, and ambition and the devotion and dedication?  Chime in!

Stalker Tendencies?

11 May

So I was just reminiscing on one of the many memorable dates I’ve had, and I wanted to share.  It made me chuckle, so maybe this will lighten up your Tuesday load.

A few (5-6) years ago, I met a guy.  Cute, tall, appeared pretty cultured.  I think we  may have met at a concert or something.  So we met for dinner, and the first date started off well.  I knew he had googled me (which didn’t surprise or alarm me) because he asked about my blog at that time, which was a lot more written in and personal than this one is.  I told tons of stories, posted and kept up to date a list of “A Hun’ed Things about Me,” and just shared my feelings on a wide array of topics on a regular basis.  Now picture this exchange:

<insert light-hearted conversation and laughing here>

Me: “Yeah!  I love those movies!”

Him: <pulling 3 folded up sheets of paper out of his pocket and unfolding them and shuffling through them> “Yeah, I knew that!  That’s #77!”

Me: straight face *blank stare* raised eyebrows

I really couldn’t believe he had printed out and studied my list of 100 things about me.  I mean, really?  I know dates can be like interviews, and you should try to be prepared, but geez louise.  That creeped me out, especially since my mom had been warning that I was making myself vulnerable to crazy people.  Yes, I totally published the list, but I never fathomed all of its possible uses.

It was similar to the scene featured in the opening of this The Ugly Truth trailer.  Except I shut down much more quickly.

Whether he was crazy or not or had issues or if I was just overreacting, I’ll never know.  We didn’t go on a second date.  But some things just have to come naturally, yanno?  *shrug*  What do you think?  Was he just prepared and I was overreacting?  Or was he doing the absolute most?

It’s Friday!

5 Mar

Well, it’s Friday, and I’m in a lighthearted mood.  So!  let’s talk Barbie!  Vogue Italia has come out with another all black issue–this time black Barbie got the feature!  These pics make me want to start back collecting dolls.  Maybe I will even get my old dolls (and books and other memorabilia) from my room at my mom’s house like she’s been asking me to for the past few years.

Click to flip through a photo gallery published at bet.com!

Here’s another gallery for you black Barbie lovers out there!  Isn’t this 1980 Barbie simply fab??

Now, when I was growing up, I had only one white doll.  My older brother got me a Russian Cabbage Patch Kid for a birthday.  All my other dolls–baby dolls and Barbie–were black.  I think my mom did a wonderful job of making sure I saw the beauty in my skin.  I can remember telling people when I was jr. high that my brown skin was flawless and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

When it comes to dolls, honestly, I liked my baby dolls more because they were bigger and I could “style” their hair.  Sunshine was my My Child doll, and she still lives at my mom’s house.  I also had a Kenya doll (medium skin lol), who has survived a life of being loved too hard.  Now, I didn’t have many Barbies, but my cousin Billequa did.  She had tons and tons of white Barbies.  So one day, I decided to trade with her.  Now, let me preface this story with the fact that I understood the value of my black collector’s item Kenyan Barbie, evidenced by the fact that I traded like 5 regular dolls for this one (I think part of my issue was I could do nothing with her hair because she barely had any).

My mother beat me into a coma when she realized what I had done.  When I woke up, I marched right back down the street and asked to reverse that transaction.  This doll still lives at my mom’s house too.  I think I’m still scared to get rid of her.  Only now, I really do appreciate her worth. :)  Happy Friday!

P.S. If anyone wants to get me any Barbies any time soon, this Alvin Ailey Barbie is simply beautiful, kthnx!

Chronicles of Singleness: SlowBaby, the Text Msg Bandit

13 Feb

So, the new topic of the past quarter has been the plight of the unmarried black woman.  Yep, I fall in that category, and I do have my own lil analysis of the topic (coming soon).  But I think the stories of the unmarried black woman are the most interesting and funniest part of it.  So here’s one.

I met a guy (we’re going to call him SlowBaby) last year, and after some months of speaking in passing, he asked for my number.  We went out on a date and had a great time.  Well, this ninja decided that instead of going out on a second date, he would just send me a morning text msg everyday and cross his fingers that he’d see me during my lunch hour. Sometimes he’d call me and try to stay on the phone all night.  And he really thought that would keep my attention. Um… negative!  Now, I told him a few times that I’d like to see him outside of my work day and that I was getting bored (which is NOT a good thing when dealing with me, the restless romantic).  Still, SlowBaby thought those dern text messages would keep him in the game, saying that he was just going with the flow, that he was really into me, and that he just wanted the feelings to be natural… I told him that going with the flow still required movement.

Finally, the day came when after hanging out with his boys for the evening, he called me at 11:30 trying to roll through.  Who did he think I am?? Sir, get outta here with that.  Why would  allow him to come over to my house at booty call hours after one date and a barrage of “Good morning” text messages?  Ain’t that much swagger in two words.  I ignored him, and when he saw me at lunch the next week, he mentioned that he knew I was awake and just ignoring him.  GOOD!  And he STILL didn’t set up a 2nd date.  Then he tried to come over a couple of weeks after that at 1:00 am!!!!  I won’t say what i said.  But know that I’ve stopped getting those dangblasted “Good morning” texts.

I dedicate this song to SlowBaby.  I hope someone inspires him to sing this one day:

The Walnut Excursion

1 Dec

When I was a kid, I thought I was so special to have two grandfathers who went by initials, one of which was the same.  My maternal granddaddy goes by P.H. and my paternal granddaddy was known as W.H. I still think it’s a lil special. :)

Sunday, before church, I walked a couple of doors down to sit with my granddaddy P.H., but sitting was not in the plan.  Not at first anyway.  He had embarked on a search for walnuts.  Now, this was notable to me because I have lived on that street for years and years and never knew we had walnut trees.  Since I was small, I have collected pecans, shelled them by pressing two in my hand, eating them as I picked them up off the ground, and I’ve shelled them the “proper” way so that they’d be nice and pretty for a pecan pie.  But I had no clue there was a walnut tree anywhere around there.

I don’t like walnuts, by the way. lol They’re too sweet or something.  And after my experience with them Sunday, they’re too much work!  Anywho, so after picking walnuts with my granddaddy, we set off to find somewhere to hammer them open without the wind blowing.  We tried a couple of places, but neither worked.  He finally went into his shed and beat them open. (Those things are really just too much work!  I liken them to crawfish or crab legs–too much work for a little bit of reward!)

While he was forcing those things open, I went in the house and realized that as much as I went over there as a child, I never paid attention to the bookshelf.  I looked at pictures I’ve seen thousands of times and at pictures I had never seen before.  Then I admired the history books (history of MS, history of slavery, world books, etc.).  While browsing, I noticed a Marriage Manual and a Marriage textbook.  Books can teach you so much. Open and closed.  Before even opening the book, I was reflecting on the fact that there was a time that marriage was so important that there was a textbook dedicated to it.  It had reasons to get married, things to consider about singlehood, the responsibilities to expect from each partner in the marriage, a little sexual education, how to deal with various situations, etc.  I didn’t take it with me for close inspection, but it really made me go hmm.

After my granddaddy was done breaking all of the collected walnuts open, we went next door and sat at the kitchen table and got out the itty bitty pieces of nuts.  We talked as we shelled.  He still can’t believe I’m unmarried.  I finally learned why his kids and my grandma went to a different church than he did. (I always thought it was a bit strange that there were two family churches even though I never questioned it.)  He asked me when I’m coming back.  He was happy that I’m finally out of school and am working. lol

I’m sure I won’t be eating walnuts anymore than I ever did, but I appreciate our little adventure.  And I appreciate the things my adult eyes and ears learn although those things were probably always there.  I’ll be looking forward to my next visit home.

When patience goes wrong

19 Oct

So, I’m in a small city in Texas for work and in a good mood, ready to conquer the world.  I arrived at the airport, which is smaller than the one in my hometown, in the middle of what looked like nowhere, and gleefully call the hotel to request a shuttle and the person on the other end said, “No problem! I’ll get him out right away!”  Right after I made that call, my phone randomly went dead, although it was fully charged this morning and I’ve barely used it all day.  Time passed, still no shuttle.  But I’ve been working on my patience, so I thought to myself, “Self, they’re probably on one of those every 30 minute schedules, so you’ll just have to wait till the next go round.  Besides, I can’t track the time, so I could just be tripping.”  Well, the last traveler got picked up, leaving me outside by myself.  So I went inside, and lo and behold, it had been damn near an HOUR.  So I called using the airport phone that only calls hotels, and the lady said, “He’s still not there? Ok, we’ll get him out right now.”

Uh… that’s what she said before.  So this time I stayed close by the entrance so I could see the clock.  Another 20 minutes passed.  So I went on back and asked the rental car company if I could use their phone to call a cab.  The cab said it’d be there in 10 minutes.  Well, 8 minutes later, finally arrives the damn shuttle I had been waiting an hour and a half for.  I had to battle with myself about whether or not to get on, but because I actually care about spending client money unnecessarily and because I was tired of sitting in randomness, I went on and got on, although I felt bad for calling the cab.  Well, I felt bad for calling the cab so late.  I should have called him after that first effin hour.  I roll my stuff outside, and the guy is like, “Are you the only one?”  I thought, “HELL YES, MOFO, EVERYONE ELSE IS AT HOME EATING OR AT THEIR HOTEL CHILLING!!!” But I responded, “Yeah.”  I guess the expression on my face wasn’t too pleasant so he looked at me through the rearview mirror and then avoided me until we arrived at the hotel.

So two hours after I landed, I’m finally sitting in my hotel room, wondering what to eat.  And wishing I had gotten here sooner so I could eat without missing my mickeyfickey Monday shows.  But whatever.  Happy Monday.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,442 other followers