I read this commentary this morning, and it really hit home.
That said, what happens after you meet and then are forced to end it with someone whose smile makes you warm inside, who you don’t mind using the bathroom in front of, whose dreams become yours?
At first, I was thinking yada yada yada, here we go again with the plight of the black educated woman. Until I read the above quote–then my brain woke up to see the author was talking about something I’m way more interested in–perspective on love.
I’ve been in love. In fact, I think I’m in love with being in love. I love how I feel when I get a new crush, and I especially love how requited love feels and how having it affects me. But what’s funny is, I’m a really cynical person, and it takes me awhile to fall. But boy, when I do… lol! I look forward to that connection. What keeps me sane and hopeful, I think, is my openness to love and the possibilities.
But it took me awhile to get to this place. My last love didn’t work out. And I had to learn that just because he was a great love, it’s not for me to decide that he was my greatEST love. That experience showed me that despite my cynicism, my wariness, my busyness, and my plight as an educated black woman (heehee), that I have a HUGE and dynamic capacity to love. And to love despite odds and obstacles. Before I came to that realization (that I’m not the maker and I have no idea what’s in store for my life), I hadn’t realized that I was one of these people:
Also, many people have already experienced love and have given it a face, scent and voice.
Love isn’t that cookie cutter! Just because love happened one way with someone doesn’t mean it’s gonna look or feel exactly like that every single time. Love, just as life, is unpredictable! You never know when you may turn the corner, trip, and be caught by a Prince Naveen. And he may not be what you were looking for, but be everything you were looking for, all wrapped into one package. And you’ll see it if you’re open to it. [NOTE – I am NOT saying to give every Joe Blow a chance. Please have standards, lol. I’m just saying sometimes we overlook people because of stuff that’s not even on our list of important stuff about a mate or because we’re being beyond cynical.] Like, Musiq said:
What would it take to be in a love I know that’s right for me?
And I know that you don’t even know me yet, but I believe that one day I’ll be where you are…
The point is, I, like the blogger, “believe the purpose of that relationship was to introduce me to love’s potential.” All I’m saying is… be open. Be open to life’s possibilities. Know that God thinks and is way bigger than you ever could or will be. The experiences we encounter in life are a part of His master plan. We should learn from them, grow from those lessons, and look forward to the situations in which we will be able to use those lessons. And don’t be scared of loving just because you can’t see the future. Even if it doesn’t work out one day, enjoy the positivity and the love lessons now!
Speaking of learning, those failed romances are lessons on loving. You learn about yourself, how you love, and how to love others. So here’s another Musiq song for ya. Head to the sky!