MLM: How to Deal with a Broken Heart

MLM: How to Deal with a Broken Heart

Now let’s be clear: I don’t have one, lol–but I’ve definitely experienced my share of hurt and disappointment.  As I was searching through my archives, this post grabbed me, so I’m hoping one of my readers needs to see this.  I shared this on 8/19/2003.

This was going to be a phenomally long post because I wanted to share a couple of emails. I guess I have sounded really dark lately (so my friends tell me) so I’ve been getting inspiration emails. I really am fine, y’all. There is a season for everything. Anywho, two of the emails were really nice, but I will only share the one my ma sent me this morning right now. Hopefully, someone who needs it will come across my page. And I’ll be able to find it later without having to keep the email.

MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#3231 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
How do you mend a broken heart?

We get a lot of prayer requests asking to simply pray for their broken heart.  So what do you do when you’ve got a broken heart?

Here are four steps that will help you up that mountain.

1. Occupy 2. Gratify 3. Sanctify 4. Glorify.

Occupy your time, don’t sit around moping. Do something. Idleness is the soil of self-pity and depression. Get busy. The best thing that you can do is to do something that helps others. It’s a universal principle that when you start focusing on helping others, your own problems are diminished. Don’t just stand there, DO SOMETHING!

Write a list of the things you like, then pick three of those things and put those things in your life – now. Make sure you can afford them and that they aren’t harmful. When our hearts are broken, we often deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy. Make an effort to put enjoyment in your life.

Do good. Don’t return evil for evil, hurt for hurt, pain for pain. Don’t wish something horrible would happen to the other person. Hope for their good fortune in your spirit, and it just may release your good fortune in your world. The easiest way to forget someone, is to truly wish them well.

Life is not over. You can live without them. Not only can you live without them, you can live even happier without them. It is a matter of perspective. Even with the negative in your world at the moment, there is something to be thankful for. There is plenty to be thankful for actually. Give God the glory for what you have. You can’t be sad and thankful at the same time. Tell heartbreak to move over. There is a sermon on called, “Breaking the 3-Way Tie, How to Break Soul, Sex and Spirit Ties.” If you or someone you know is suffering from a broken heart, they might do well to listen to it.

A famous comedian said, “A man isn’t a man until he’s had his heart broken.”

It’s not really broken, it’s just tenderized.

Today will be a good day!

And as it was in 2003, I hope you’re having a great day today!  Here’s a great song from Destiny’s Child. 🙂

Ain’t no feeling like being free
When your mind’s made up and your heart’s in the right place, yeah
Ain’t no feeling like being free
When you’ve done all you could and was misunderstood
Ain’t no feeling like being free
I’m like an eagle set free and finally I’m looking out for me
Ain’t no feeling like being free
Cuz my mind’s made up and my heart is in the right place, yeah

Feature Friday: Harry Potter :)

Feature Friday: Harry Potter :)

Ok, ok, ok, stop shaking your heads, ok?  Please, just for a second.  Yes, I know you may have been expecting something a little deeper than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, but this is what made my eyes sparkle today, despite my effort to feature something a little more learned.  But I’m a well-rounded person, yanno?  *grinning*

I got the link on Twitter yesterday, but I didn’t watch it till today.  What a birthday present this will be indeed. 🙂  Also, the first installment of this movie will get me a little bit closer to reading the last book of the series. (I try to watch the movie before I read the book, if I haven’t already read the book before I know it is being adapted to the movie–it’s just way better in that order. I can explain later.)

I’m including both trailers that have been released so far.  Aren’t you excited too?

Eddie Long, Continued

Eddie Long, Continued

Accusations and muscle shirts and conjecture, oh my!  The “innanet” is exploding!  I still don’t want to post anything that leans one side or the other.  Plus, it’s so disturbing to read all the biting and scathing commentary from people who are upset with Long and from those upset with the three young men filing the suit.   People can be really mean!  So here are some posts I’ve found interesting that analyze the peripheral issues.

An analysis of “Religious Politics” over at Uppity Negro Network

From a Crisis Expert’s perspective at The Grio

AJC posts with a little legal analysis:

My Thoughts on the Case of Eddie Long

My Thoughts on the Case of Eddie Long

Yesterday, this story hit the airwaves (and Twitter) like wildfire.

I am one of those people who tries not to come up with my own conclusions before facts are presented (I said try!).  I almost wish that lawsuits were kept secret until right before the trial because the court of public scrutiny can be a major bitch.  So here are my thoughts on the story, which are unrelated to what I think about the case itself.

1. While we should reserve judgment until more facts are made available (please remember Shirley Sherrod), we must see that there are two sides of the coin.  These are allegations.  Which means Long is innocent until proven guilty.  However, we must be careful to not cast judgment on the accusers.  This morning, the head of PR at New Birth said in an interview on V-103 that we must remember that these guys have been on the other side of the law.  I have two problems with that: a – It’s a common tactic to criminalize the victim.  Many victims don’t have pristine backgrounds, but that shouldn’t bar them from speaking out when they’ve been harmed. b – I would just expect a little more from a church.  If you’re not ready defense-wise, then just say “he didn’t do it” and leave it at that.  Trashing these guys who have been members of the church, participants in the programs, and on the church payroll isn’t a good look.  So I said all that to say–to be neutral is to stay in the middle.  Jumping on the accusers/possible victims is still picking a side and is just as bad as jumping on Long’s case before he has had the chance to defend himself.

2. This case immediately made me think of Juanita Bynum getting mollywhopped in a parking lot and all the backlash that caused.  We church folk have to remember that we go to the House for the Word and to worship God, not bask in the pastor’s fervor.  They are not superhuman.  They are people too, and when we keep that in mind, it’s easier to swallow when things happen.  Yes, they are spiritual leaders, and we must believe that God will lead us to where we’re supposed to go to hear His message and to fellowship with other believers, despite whatever imperfections the pastor has.

2b. There are folks who love when stuff like this hits the media so they can talk about how religion and spirituality are irrelevant and the church is full of fake people.  But as we all know, the church is full of sinners, and that’s the point.  No one is perfect, but we can all be saved under the perfect love of Christ.  So, stay strong, folks.  Especially you guys on Twitter and Facebook who may be inundated with defending your faith.

3. Regardless of whether or not Long did it or not, I hope people in power positions everywhere are taking note that you have to protect yourself from even the appearance of malfeasance.  Of course, it’s not always preventable, but be aware of rumors and take heed to not feed into those rumors.  Also, know that what is done in the dark will always come to the light.  I say that as a tribute to all these politicians (who have a duty to the public just as spiritual leaders do) who keep getting caught because they thought they were invincible then end up resigning.  People who are in public leadership roles are held to a higher standard, so just know there is only so much privacy to be expected. Which is sad, yes, but it’s reality.  So this is to you and to me, just be careful out there.

I’ll be watching the news and reading the paper just as you will.  Just keep Long, the two young men, all the families involved, New Birth, and this entire society in your prayers, as I will.

By the way, happy last day of summer!

Memory Lane Monday: Honey Bunches of Quotes

Memory Lane Monday: Honey Bunches of Quotes

Yeah, the title is a smidge cheesy, but it’s Monday, and it’s not a manic one so let me have this one.  And it’s time for an old post. 🙂  This one is from 9/16/2003.

A few quotes:

They say love hides behind every corner… I must be walking around in circles.

Love starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Love is like an hour glass–the brain empties as the heart fills up.

What’s better? A lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

Don’t fall for someone who won’t be there to catch you.

Love is like war; easy to begin and hard to end.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.

Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored.

You don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Think of someone of “average” intelligence. Then think half the world is dumber than that.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Ok, ok, ok, I typed more than a few, but I like them. 🙂

Aren’t these still great?  Well, a little cynical, but still at least a little funny.  Here are two more for the road.

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. -Abraham Lincoln

<<::update:: 1:19 pm::>> I just got a new quote to add!

The issue is keeping the knot tied, not tying it. -R. Brian Gibson

Now ain’t that the truth!

Feature Friday: Horseback Riding at Pipestem Resort

Feature Friday: Horseback Riding at Pipestem Resort

This morning, I went horseback riding at Pipestem Resort State Park in West Virginia. The adventure started with the drive from where I’m staying in Asbury, WV around mountain-like hills through a couple of pint-sized towns to unincorporated area of Pipestem. The drive reminded me a little of when I drove up Beech Mountain, North Carolina a few years back for a ski trip. Once we (my coworker and I) arrived at the park, I thought my nerves would kick in, but I was evermore excited.

We went into the stables (until the smell overwhelmed us) and watched as the horses of various colors (rich browns, black, white, a peculiar gray) were tended to. Finally, we met our horses. My coworker got a horse named Tom, and I got the lovely Molly, who was silky black with a black and auburn streaked mane. My yoga came in handy as I managed to get my leg high enough in the air to get my foot in the stirrup to hoist myself onto Molly’s back. Yep, I’m proud to have not needed a step stool!

As Molly and I started our journey on a path she’s travelled who knows how many times, I wondered to myself if she cares about carrying folks on her back every day. I also noticed that while Molly was pretty easy to “steer,” pulling her left, right, and telling her to slow down or stop for a second, she definitely did things on her own terms, stopping to eat flowers when she pleased, but never veering off path or causing us to be left behind. I rode Molly through wooded areas and through meadow like areas, noticing how Molly took care in her steps when the trail was on a decline or when it was rocky.

As I enjoyed the view, the peace, and the quiet, I took some time to be one with my own thoughts. I remembered when my granddaddy P.H. had horses, a time when he was a strong man with authority and leadership oozing through his pores. I remembered when my cousin Billequa and I rode camels at the Jackson Zoo as kids. I daydreamed about the possibility of ever owning a horse like Molly. I thought about my relationship and where it’s going. I thought about my parents and how they’ve been everpresent in my life. It was definitely a thoughtful morning.

The only gross part was when the horse in front of me pooped… Wasn’t really ready for that, but it’s a part of life, yes, I know. Also, the whiff of poop every time we went through or around piles of it was a drag.

Overall, though, it was a delightful, relaxing, awesome experience. If there’s a stable near you (or if you ever happen to find yourself in southern W. Va.), try horseback riding if you never have. Happy Friday, folks!

P.S. I will add pictures when I get to a computer!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Say It Ain’t So – Quality Film to Come?

Say It Ain’t So – Quality Film to Come?

I will admit, I had really (and by really, I mean extremely, intensely, immensely, extraordinarily) low expectations of Tyler Perry’s upcoming film translation of For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf, which hits the big screen in November. It just seemed too paradoxical.  While I regret that I haven’t yet read the book by Ntozake Shange (though it is on my shelfari list), I have seen the play, and I wasn’t moved.  Not because of the content, but because of the delivery.  My attention just wasn’t captured, and I found myself dozing off, which I usually wouldn’t freely admit.  I always wondered “am I just not deep enough?”

Now, place that with the other end of the spectrum.  Most know I’m not a Tyler Perry fan.  I find his productions pretty shallow and redundant.  While I admire his tenacity and success, I’m just not an avid fan.  So when I heard Tyler Perry was going to be the leader of this film adaptation, I thought this was simple math.  Too deep + not deep = #uberfail.

But then the trailer hit Twitter yesterday morning, and I’m pretty intrigued.  I hope the trailer isn’t just a ruse because it definitely changed my status of not-planning-to-see-it-ever to maybe-I’ll-go-see-it-opening-weekend.  I’m really excited about seeing Whoopi Goldberg and Phylicia Rashad on the same screen.  From the flickers of various scenes in the trailer, it looks like the film may actually be something relatable, engaging, and impelling.

It seems that just maybe too deep + not deep = just deep enough.  Do  you plan to go see this film?

Daydream on Your Feet

Daydream on Your Feet

Today, I was Table Topics Master at my Toastmasters meeting.  My theme was Daydreams since one of my favorite pastimes is daydreaming. 🙂 The members had to come to the lectern, pick one of several questions that I had printed on slips of paper, and answer it in 1-2 minutes.  The questions were all “if” questions.  I found some of the questions here and some others here.  I made up the rest.  The questions went over very well, and there were some really interesting and creative answers.  I’ve bolded the one I volunteered to answer myself.

I’m sharing them below, in case you’re ever a table topics master or need an icebreaker for an event.

  1. If you could be any age again for one week, what age and why?
  2. If you could fly in a hot-air balloon over any city in the world, what city would you choose?
  3. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself at the age of ten, what advice would you give yourself?
  4. If you could travel back in time to meet anyone in your family’s history, whom would you most want to meet? (I said my mom’s mom’s mom’s mom. :D)
  5. If you had to wear a button with a maximum of five words what would it be and why?
  6. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
  7. If you could be romantically connected with any celebrity who would it be?
  8. If you could be a superhero, which special power would you choose to have?
  9. If you could excel at any competitive sport, which would you choose?
  10. If you could take a sabbatical for six months and live anywhere, where would you go and why?

What about you?  Have you ever considered any of these yourself?

And here’s a song about daydreaming. 🙂