I got a couple comments offline about my iRock post that were surprisingly negative. They were from guys who said that they were tired of us black womenfolk uplifting ourselves and what about the fellas… Weeeeeeellllll, I didn’t know that uplifting someone equated downplaying someone else. I believe that uplifting women is one major key to uplifting a community. In the media, we have been hearing so much negativity, especially us educated, supposedly too independent, grouchy, emasculating, career-focused black women. I know so many awesome black women who don’t know just how awesome they are, and in turn, the people around them don’t necessarily see how awesome they are because they downplay themselves. So I wanted people to come on here and celebrate how they rock. Men could too, if you rock. We don’t hate around these parts–we acknowledge how important both men and women are to our community. So c’mon. Can you give us some love without feeling neglected?
Malcolm X once said that black women are the most disrespected, unprotected people in America. Sometimes I wonder how we got to the point where YouTube video battles about the contention between black men and women became just as mainstream as harping on negative statistics about us every chance possible without providing some solution besides date whoever winks at you. I don’t know what the solution is, but we’ve got to get back to a point where we respect each other. I was listening to Michael Eric Dyson today, and a guest on his show, Dr. Raymond Winbush, author of The Warrior Method: A Parents’ Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys, said something that really struck a cord with me. He said that we so often use the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but we never talk about how our village has been torn apart or about how to rebuild it. Ok, I may have added some of my own into that, but you get the picture. I want to know how we can improve the overall relations within our community (I know not ALL people men-bash or women-bash so don’t start with me please and thanks). How can we stop the finger pointing and start the embracing? We all have stuff to work on–it’s not a one-sided issue. What can we do today to ensure that our kids will respect each other? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
This next video is to add to that convo about guys who love to call out women who aren’t smiling as they walk down the street. Lol–it’s not that deep on a daily basis, but still something to think about.
And y’all know I love me some good music. This is dedicated to all my girls who rock (even if you didn’t come tell me why, lol).
Just the Two of Us 
I agree with both you & malcolm. I think black women bashing has become one of social media’s favorite past times & as a by-product permeated into our cultural makeup (or vice versa). I get on twitter & I see (#thingsblackgirlsdo as a TT) & as you stated on youtube we see the battle of wills between men & women in basically a tearing down of each sex to show the absurdity of our stereotypical “unrealistic expectations”. But what those criticisms lack are constructive feedback or the ability to edify our culture. They instead destroy us & diminish our value in the eyes of one another. I enjoyed black girls rock & the idea that black women are taking charge to empower themselves Because it is beautiful to see a woman exude a self-induced confidence in a society that would often look to deprive her of the very will to do so. Black men should be singing Black Girls rock right along with you because… Well you do & because we have as much responsibility to uplift our mothers, sisters, daughters, & wives as they do themselves. Black women have been keeping Black society (society, generally) afloat with their contributions since the beginning of time & it is our duty as men to acknowledge this & in turn do our part. If we as men want to be celebrated we can take initiative just as the women did to celebrate our achievements & I would hope that women would uplift us as well. Overall, though, I say Yes to black women rocking & to being proud of who you are… Because your pride & positivity can only be beneficial to the community to which you offer your contributions & people that are graced with your talents. Keep rockin.
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I will be brief today. First there must be a healthy balance of loving criticism as well as encouragement between the sexes. Both are paramount to the success of the other. But we would be naive if we overlooked the way women are maltreated all over this world by the same men who want to be uplifted. Whomever left those negative comments, tell them I said stop being so sensitive. I understand their are some women bashers out there that will berate every man possible, but more often than not they harbor those feelings because some man has drug them through the mud at some point, so we must take some responsibility as men and franlky realize that we have it much better than women.
“Just because I’m pro-woman doesn’t mean that I’m anti-man.”
Last, to you point about our children and the village, when our boys see their fathers, uncles, brothers, and cousins treat women with basic respect then our young people will ignite a revolution of values that we desperately need. I think you and I have talked about that before.
Keep up the incredible work Ranada!
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Pardon my typos. There are a few. In a hurry.
*I understand “there” are some “male bashers”*
*frankly*
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Excellent post! I was feeling the same way about how Black men went out their way after the premiere of “Black Girls Rock” to tear us down. I was absolutely sick that the next day after the show that as CJ said #thingsblackgirlsdo was TT. That was the first day I was completely disappointed in Black men.
Until Black men can realize we aren’t pushing, encouraging, motivating, and even uplifting ourselves because we don’t NEED or WANT anyone else especially THEM. It has become the reality that we HAVE to do so because “we have no other choice.” We have nearly been abandoned in today’s society, and it’s hurts me to the core to know that our men are the ones leading the succession. I think that’s the most painful observation.
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