Wednesday, I wrote this long post updating you readers to my progress on my goals. Well, I lost it thanks to the stupid WordPress new post page that doesn’t autosave, so I learned a lesson–never write a post there. Go through my dashboard no matter what, where I can see “Draft saved at 2:07:38 pm.” without even moving my eyes.
The nonbeliever of coincidences, though, I decided that something about that post wasn’t supposed to be seen by the masses. I don’t know what. But no worries because today, I’m starting with a fresh slate, and I’m not going to try to rewrite that long juicy post I wrote Wednesday. 🙂 That being said, here goes!
My little family and I made it through our first week of a “new reality.” Frederick started daycare Monday, and I started work Wednesday. And Smokie is just dealing with whatever comes his way. I must say, although I felt a slight tinge of guilt every time I dropped him off and at least once through the day, and although I’ve never been a huge fan of routine, this new reality seems like it will do wonders for all three of us. Except for last night, Frederick sleeps soundly through the night except the two times he needs to eat. And actually twice this week, he only got up once to eat. So even though I could stand an eensy weensy bit more sleep, I definitely can’t complain because I got more sleep this past week than ever before (at night). I also had a good week of pumping milk–now I just have to make sure I don’t make the common mistake of not staying in routine this weekend and messing with my supply! Also, Im getting the hang of being productive in my home. Gasp! I’m not quite at doing a load of laundry every day, but I don’t have clothes spilling out of hampers like before when I was washing clothes when I was getting low on underwear, lol. It’ll be even better when I get over my dislike of folding clothes. 🙂 I have my morning and night routines almost downpat. After I pick up Frederick in the evenings, I cook or heat up leftovers, clean the kitchen (which includes first washing all of Frederick’s bottles of the day and then whatever dishes I used when I cooked and ate), get my lunch ready for the next day, get Frederick’s bottles ready for the next day, give him a bath, take my own bath (which includes my newest face and hair routines), iron our clothes (gasp!! I’m sure my dad would hesitate to believe this one!), feed him, and lay him down. Now, the order in which I do all of that depends on my baby and his sleepiness and/or fretfulness, but so far routine has been my friend. [Note: I also read to him if he’s awake long enough, and I always sing to him in the tub and whenever elsethe mood hits me!]
I have learned so much about myself and my capacity to cope and move forward since I had my baby (and especially since my mom left us in Atlanta to get back to her reality). My baby really is an amazing miracle from above, and he has made all the difference in my life. I can’t focus too long on what I don’t like or have when I can just look at him and know that I’m blessed to have him. And although I know being a mom isn’t easy, I also know that God will provide for my son. After a long, tough pregnancy, I’m ready for this new journey. I look forward to seeing Frederick come into his personality even more, to seeing him and helping him learn, to waking up to his smiles (and mean mugs), to kissing him before he goes to sleep at night, to exposing him to the great things this world has to offer. I don’t look forward to not being able to shield him from all of life’s hurts and pains, but I do look forward in joining my mom in more of the experiences of motherhood.
And because music is one of my emotional outlets, here are some tunes for ya.
As soon as I stop worrying
Worrying how the story ends
I let go and I let God
Let God have His way
That’s when things start happening
I’ll stop looking at back then
I let go and I’ll let God have His way
One week down, a lifetime to go! Happy Friday!