Back to My New Reality

Back to My New Reality

Wednesday, I wrote this long post updating you readers to my progress on my goals. Well, I lost it thanks to the stupid WordPress¬†new post page that doesn’t autosave, so I learned a lesson–never write a post there. Go through my dashboard no matter what, where I can see “Draft saved at 2:07:38 pm.” without even moving my eyes.

The nonbeliever of coincidences, though, I decided that something about that post wasn’t supposed to be seen by the masses. I don’t know what. But no worries because today, I’m starting with a fresh slate, and I’m not going to try to rewrite that long juicy post I wrote Wednesday. ūüôā That being said, here goes!

Frederick on his first day of daycare. His smiles make my heart flutter!

My little family and I made it through our first week of a “new reality.” Frederick started daycare Monday, and I started work Wednesday. And Smokie¬†is just dealing with whatever comes his way. I must say, although I felt a slight tinge of guilt every time I dropped him off and at least once through the day, and although I’ve never been a huge fan of routine, this new reality seems like it will do wonders for all three of us. Except for last night, Frederick sleeps soundly through the night except the two times he needs to eat. And actually twice this week, he only got up once to eat. So even though I could stand an eensy¬†weensy¬†bit more sleep, I definitely can’t complain because I got more sleep this past week than ever before (at night). I also had a good week of pumping milk–now I just have to make sure I don’t make the common mistake of not staying in routine this weekend and messing with my supply! Also, Im¬†getting the hang of being productive in my home. Gasp! I’m not quite at doing a load of laundry every day, but I don’t have clothes¬†spilling out of hampers like before when I was washing clothes when I was¬†getting low on underwear, lol. It’ll be even better when I get over my dislike of folding clothes. ūüôā I have my morning and night routines almost downpat. After I pick up Frederick in the evenings, I cook or heat up leftovers, clean the kitchen (which includes first washing all of Frederick’s bottles of the day and then whatever dishes I used when I cooked and ate), get my lunch ready for the next day, get Frederick’s bottles ready for the next day, give him a bath, take my own bath (which includes my newest face and hair routines), iron our clothes (gasp!! I’m sure my dad would hesitate to believe this one!), feed him, and lay him down. Now, the order in which I do all of that depends on my baby and his sleepiness and/or fretfulness, but so far routine has been my friend. [Note: I also read to him if he’s awake long enough, and I always sing to him in the tub and whenever elsethe mood hits me!]

Mommy’s first day back at work
It’s finally Friday! Home after a full week. We made it!

I have learned so much about myself and my capacity to cope and move forward since I had my baby (and especially since my mom left us in Atlanta to get back to her reality). My baby really is an amazing miracle from above, and he has made all the difference in my life. I can’t focus too long on what I don’t like or have¬†when I can just look at him and know that I’m blessed to have him. And although I know being a mom isn’t easy, I also know that God will provide for my son. After a long, tough pregnancy, I’m ready for this new journey. I look forward to seeing Frederick come into his personality even more, to seeing him and helping him learn, to waking up to his smiles (and mean mugs), to kissing him before he goes to sleep at night, to exposing him to the great things this world has to offer. I don’t look forward to not being able to shield him from all of life’s hurts and pains, but I do look forward in joining my mom in more of the experiences of motherhood.

And because music is one of my emotional outlets, here are some tunes for ya.

As soon as I stop worrying
Worrying how the story ends
I let go and I let God
Let God have His way
That’s when things start happening
I’ll stop looking at back then
I let go and I’ll let God have His way

One week down, a lifetime to go! Happy Friday!

Lifting us all up

Lifting us all up

I got a couple comments offline about my iRock post that were surprisingly negative. ¬†They were from guys who said that they were tired of us black womenfolk uplifting ourselves and what about the fellas… ¬†Weeeeeeellllll, I didn’t know that uplifting someone equated downplaying someone else. ¬†I believe that uplifting women is one major key to uplifting a community. ¬†In the media, we have been hearing so much negativity, especially us educated, supposedly too independent, grouchy, emasculating, career-focused black women. ¬†I know so many awesome black women who don’t know just how awesome they are, and in turn, the people around them don’t necessarily see how awesome they are because they downplay themselves. ¬†So I wanted people to come on here and celebrate how they rock. ¬†Men could too, if you rock. ¬†We don’t hate around these parts–we acknowledge how important both men and women are to our community. ¬†So c’mon. ¬†Can you give us some love without feeling neglected?

Malcolm X once said that black¬†women are the most disrespected, unprotected people in America. ¬†Sometimes I wonder how we got to the point where YouTube video battles about the contention between black men and women became just as mainstream as harping on negative statistics about us every chance possible without providing some solution besides date whoever winks at you. ¬†I don’t know what the solution is, but we’ve got to get back to a point where we respect each other. ¬†I was listening to Michael Eric Dyson today, and a guest on his show, Dr. Raymond Winbush, author of The Warrior Method: A Parents’ Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys, said something that really struck a cord with me. ¬†He said that we so often use the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but we never talk about how our village has been torn apart or about how to rebuild it. Ok, I may have added some of my own into that, but you get the picture. ¬†I want to know how we can improve the overall relations within our community (I know not ALL people men-bash or women-bash so don’t start with me please and thanks). ¬†How can we stop the finger pointing and start the embracing? ¬†We all have stuff to work on–it’s not a one-sided issue. ¬†What can we do today to ensure that our kids will respect each other? ¬†I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This next video is to add to that convo about guys who love to call out women who aren’t smiling as they walk down the street. Lol–it’s not that deep on a daily basis, but still something to think about.

And y’all know I love me some good music. ¬†This is dedicated to all my girls who rock (even if you didn’t come tell me why, lol).