Tag: balance

Getting My Fine Back

Getting My Fine Back

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

There was a time not too long ago when my mornings started with sweat, strength, and community. I would drop Frederick off at school and head to the fitness class of the day. I had rapport with the fabulous instructors, the playlists were bomb, and I spent my mornings with my fellow classmates lifting, stretching, and reclaiming our power before officially starting the day. I had a rhythm. On Saturdays that Frederick didn’t have an activity and I didn’t have a meeting, I’d get up for an 8:00 am Ballet Burn class and stay for a yoga flow right after. For about two years, I was in the groove—working out 4 to 5 times a week, hitting up my favorite classes at a spa that felt more like a sanctuary. The variety kept me engaged, the convenience kept me consistent, the movement kept me sane, and the community of women kept me accountable.

That routine was my anchor. It helped me carry the weight of work and mommyhood with a little more grace, a lot more endorphins, and a stronger back—literally and metaphorically.

Then came the election cycle. If you know, you know.

The chaos of campaign season collided with the chaos of my organization being toppled by its own board. Talk about whiplash. I was burned out, heart-bruised, and stretched thin. My mornings went from Pilates poses, free weights, and cooldowns to crisis management and caretaking. When I was finally able to return to my rhythm, I discovered that my beloved spa was about to get rid of its morning classes—the very ones that had built my consistency.

So I’ve been flailing, if I’m being honest. I’ve been floating between good intentions and the gravity of fatigue. I’ll even admit that personal bruises on my heart haven’t helped either. As a result, for most of this year, I’ve let the fitness part of my life sit quietly in the corner, waiting for me to come back to it, while at the same time, I’ve been letting stress and stagnant energy impact me in ways I can see and feel.

It’s time to do something about that.

I met with a dietitian about a week ago who gently let me know that I don’t eat enough. (Imagine that—trying to do all the things on a nearly empty tank.) I’m looking forward to working with her to create new habits that help me with my wellness goals. I’m learning to nourish myself better, not just with food, but with grace and planning. I’m making time to walk 3 or so miles before work some days ( I walk from my office to Arden’s Garden for a healthy breakfast and back) and I’ve started going back to class on Saturdays (again, when my schedule allows). It’s not five times a week—not yet—but it’s something. And that something is my gateway to finding a new rhythm.

This isn’t a “new year, new me” post. This is a mid-year memo to myself: Your body deserves consistency, not punishment. Your peace needs movement. Your joy lives in strength.

So I’m recommitting to my health, my energy, my fine. Not just the fine people see, but the kind of fine that makes me feel powerful in my skin again.

Baby steps. But I am stepping.

I share these 30 second time lapse videos in my IG stories after a workout with a song from the day’s playlist that resonated. Motivation for me and several of my followers to get up and move!

Soundtrack of My Life: I’m the Largest

(a lil explanation: I actually am the largest I’ve ever been in my life, AND this song with its beat and lyrics and flow helped me with my mental strength to keep going this morning in Ballet Burn when my muscles were screaming girl, whet is we doing and why?!)

Lessons Learned by Farmer Jo, Part 2

Lessons Learned by Farmer Jo, Part 2

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Back to those doggone squash and cucumbers. Much of what I learned about trying to grow them applies to my life in general. It all started when I went to Chicago in June to celebrate the 30th birthdays of three compadres. I purchased an automatic sprinkler so that my plants wouldn’t be thirsty for a full weekend. Well… I called myself testing it the night before and setting the timer for every 6 hours. Didn’t work out like I thought it would.

My cucumbers were overwatered, while my squash was underwatered. Isn’t that what happens sometimes in our relationships? You put in way more effort than is necessary for some people and neglect others. Yeah… So after that it was making up time. I had to figure out what could be salvaged. Which isn’t always that easy. Last night, I realized that I really need to sit down and do what I do on a somewhat regular basis–a friendship evaluation. But later on that–let me finish talking about my poor plants. 🙂

So my squash was growing, but they were almost orange, instead the great yellow my first crop was. In addition, the actual vines/roots were turning a dark green and looking pretty ashy and almost dead (and some were dead) and starting to look mangled. I probably  should have abandoned ship then, but Determined Dejoi couldn’t just admit defeat. I started back to my original regime after cutting off all the dead parts. It was looking pretty sparse after I cut all the dead weight off. After that only one more squash grew.

Lesson: When there’s more death than life or more negativity than positivity, it’s time to let go. Some things aren’t worth saving.

On the other hand, my cucumbers were growing, but they were discolored in a different way and disfigured. (Have you noticed here that colors tell the story if you only pay attention?) These babies were yellowish (not green) and round, instead of long. So I added soil to the pot to try to soak up some of that excess water, and I moved the pot so that the plants would get more sun. But more than that, when I looked at the vines, there were some serious issues. There were black vines all over the place. So I cut all of those off, but the cucumbers never grew normally, and I was scared to eat the warped cucumbers (although they smelled like cucumbers and Smokie enjoyed the one that fell off the vine, lol).

Lesson: You can flood anything or anyone or any situation, which warps the fruit of whatever seed you planted. If you’re putting more into something or someone than you’re getting back,  you need to evaluate the situation. 

My first summer of gardening was great. I had some wins and some losses, but I learned from it all. My carrots and broccoli are still looking great so far. I’m even considering growing onions later in the winter. Here are some questions that I’m asking myself during my friendship evaluation:

  • Whose lives are you enhancing and who is enhancing yours?
  • In whom are you investing and who is investing in you?
  • Who do you prioritize and who prioritizes you?
  • Whose opinions do you value? Whose do you dismiss?
  • Who actively listens to you? Who do you think you waste your breath on?
  • Who keeps indirect tabs on you but doesn’t directly deal with you? Do they use that information to help or hurt you?
  • Who do you feel comfortable confiding in?

In all of this, it’s important to honor your instincts. Some friendships are for a season, some for a reason, and some for a lifetime. No, I don’t talk to all my friends every day–I have people I truly consider friends who I have confidence in even though they’re not on my normal rotation. So you have to consider all that. And you need to ask yourself if you spend more time and energy on the people who don’t add to you than who do. If so, you have some adjusting to do. I know I do.

Almost 30! Many lessons down, many more to go!