Tag: positivity

What is love?

What is love?

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

So last night I posted a Miki Howard video just because that’s what I was listening to, but overnight it grew into a full-fledged blog post.  Saturday, I saw this and it struck something inside me.

Of course, it wasn’t new to me.  But reading it at that moment just sparked something that I guess finally came to a head when I listened to Miki crooning last night.

I’m definitely not a relationship expert, but I have learned some things over my few lil years in this world.  Love, of all types, is one of those topics that covers so much that it’s hard to talk about.  I mean, really… what is love?

My fave thing to say about love, though, is that it’s not just a noun–it’s a verb.  To have love for people is to show love for people.  If it’s love for the community, you  need to be doing something for the community.  If it’s love for your family, you need to be contributing something to their health and well-being. (And currently, I’m thinking of my mother and her love for my grandfather, which is a whole other post about the highs and lows of caring for the elderly.)  If it’s a romantic love, it’s not enough to be woo-woo’ing in someone’s ear about how much you heart them–those are sweet little nothings until some actions are aligned.

One thing I’ve had to learn is that I have to be choosy (had to do that one for Aaliyah, R.I.P.) about who I dedicate my energy, my time, my patience, my love to.  All that is so simply yet eloquently written in 1 Corinthians goes both ways.  My love needs to be all those things, but I also have to remember that I deserve all those things.  And if I’m not receiving that, I should love myself more and walk away.  I mean really, we spend so much of our lives pouring ourselves into other people, not always taking the time to really evaluate if we’re giving out the right type of love to right people. And then we wonder why we’re so drained and bitter.  What we’re pouring out, we should be getting back some kinda way. Love isn’t a finite thing with a usage limit. There’s plenty to go around and it multiplies when it’s shared. You don’t have to be a martyr for love. Give some, and make sure you’re getting some.

So when someone comes around, whether a new friend or a new romantic interest, and is really positive and invested and caring, you have to be appreciative to the One above for placing that source of energy into your life. You can be thankful for the chance to give some of that patient, unselfish, hopeful love AND for the chance to recognize and receive it.  So, sang it, Miki.

Experience is a good teacher
It takes someone like me to know
All the little games people tend to play
Some call it love: It never has a chance to grow

…

The closed sign on my door, I had to tear it down
A new world of happiness turned me completely around

Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

by Ranada ♥ 4 Comments

Last night a friend of mine posed the question:

What happens after happily ever after?

I replied that there is no after after the after. Got that?
“Happily ever after” is the rest of time. After the story ends, no matter what else happens during “happily ever after,” the main characters will be okay.  They will overcome obstacles, and life will continue to be worth living.

So why have I been searching for “happily ever after”?  I’m already in it! My life is definitely worth living, and I already know through the blood of Christ, that I’ve already overcome all of my obstacles.  Every minute of every day won’t be “happy,” but I know that through my pain, I find greater appreciation for joy.  Because of all the goodness in my life, I can find joy in my life despite hardships and disappointments.

You have to find “ever after” with the Most High.  It really is all about perspective.  What do we choose to focus on?  Would you rather worry or meditate?  Both require focus–the only difference is the object of that focus.  For instance, I have had some romantic failures.  I am lonely.  Long term companionship seems to evade me.  BUT should I focus on that? Or should I focus on my family, my friends, all my wonderful accomplishments and triumphs, all the projects I have going, all the dreams that I know will one day come to fruition…  Umm, my life is kinda awesome.  No really… It is.

As a dear friend told me during a crying spell, if the only thing wrong is my loneliness and I have everything else pretty much going well, why am I spending my energy on the loneliness?  As I continue to move forward in life, I have to trust that “one day my prince will come” (and stay).  And positivity comes from focusing on all the great stuff.  It’s like the serenity prayer says:

Romance is not the only piece to that “happily ever after” thing.  But having a relationship with Christ is.

It’ll take a whole other post to discuss it, but once we as human beings submit to Christ and reflect his light, we are then able to submit to one another.  I look forward to the day I will reflect the light of some great man who will cherish and adore me.  But until then, I’ll be patient. I am okay with rolling solo, being who I was made to be.

Erykah Badu, as y’all know, is one of my favorite artists.  And she captured what’s in my heart very well in this song.  Enjoy.

I’m an orange moon, reflecting the light of the Son (sun)…

I’m an orange moon, and I shine so bright cuz I reflect the light of my Sun
I praise the day He turned my way and smiled at me
He gets to smile and I get to be orange

Life Lessons on MARTA

Life Lessons on MARTA

by Ranada ♥ 7 Comments

So, at lunch, I decided to take a trek on MARTA to support a friend (Black Tie BBQ – check them out for delish food!!), and as fate would have it, I’d have a lightbulb moment randomly.  Which makes sense.  I live by randomness, it seems.

Anywho, on to the lesson.  Currently, I’m reading Blackgammon, which is the story of two black American women who are searching for love (or maybe running from it) and freedom in Europe. The book has been right on time, so naturally, I was really into it when it was time for me to change trains at Five Points.  As I stood on the platform waiting for a westbound train, enthralled by my book, I heard the whir of a train pass me.  I looked up and saw the lights of the train leaving me.  Oh no! I thought…  I have to wait 6 whole minutes for the next train.  Sheesh!  Me and this dangblasted book.  How in the world did I completely not hear the train when it arrived?  (Another reason is because it was a short train–the Bankhead train, which is about half the size of a normal MARTA train and I was too far down on the platform.)

So I moved closer to the center of the platform and took a seat and began reading again, careful to glance up every minute or so at the sign announcing the wait time for the next train.  The next train came. Something felt very wrong about it as I stood there missing another train.  Then it dawned on me!  I wasn’t supposed to catch that train–it’s going in the wrong direction!  I was supposed to be waiting on the eastbound train!!  Too hot (and lazy) to run, I took my time and went around the station to get to the eastbound platform.  And sure enough, when I got to the platform, a train came.  Right on time.

<MESSAGE!>

In life, sometimes things seem to be going right and then suddenly, something happens to derail all of it and you’re left wondering “How in the world did that happen?”  Or sometimes although things are great, you come to a unexpected juncture, and you think you’re going the right way, but then you realize that way has a barbed wire fence blocking it.  Maybe, just maybe, it’s there for a reason. Maybe that missed out opportunity wasn’t what you were supposed to be doing anyway.  Maybe it would have taken you in the wrong direction, on to the wrong path.  Maybe once you realize that and go to where you need to be, what you need will be there, waiting on you–always right on time.

Disappointments come.  They’re a part of life.  But the perspective surrounding those disappointments can be positive if you remember that everything happens for a reason and the way they’re supposed to.  You just need to be aware and open for some clarity and enlightenment.

There’s a reason for everything that comes and goes…

The Intermittent Rigamarole of My Life

The Intermittent Rigamarole of My Life

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Yes, rigamarole is a real word.

From dictionary.com:

rig·a·ma·role (rĭg’ə-mə-rōl’) 
n. Variant of rigmarole.

rig·ma·role (rĭg’mə-rōl’) 
n.

  1. Confused, rambling, or incoherent discourse; nonsense.
  2. A complicated, petty set of procedures.

When things that seem to make all the sense in the world become confusing and chaotic, what do you do?  I am looking forward to clearing my mind with some hot yoga in the morning.  I know that all things work out the way they’re supposed to, but it’s sometimes difficult for me to shift to find the new perspective.  Oh, I will shift.  Without a doubt.  But there’s a delayed reaction. Maybe (hopefully) it’s just for a little while.  And by little while, I mean a quick moment.  Lofty, but possible, right?  It’s just hard being vulnerable and not in control.  But ever the risk taker, I can’t help but try, even if it ends in failure. I bump my head and get back up after as soon as I’m no longer dizzy.

So until I make that shift that facilitates my ability to have a positive perspective, this is for me and anyone else there that is having some trouble sorting stuff out.

Be still, young heart, and never will you fall apart.
Be wise, my dear, you must learn to just be still
Until you really really know.
Show me your eye, shine your light, I wonder when will i know.

Love and Randomness

Love and Randomness

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

Love is in the air.  While it seems to be darting every which-a-way when it enters a 5 yard radius of me, it’s so great to see my friends swooning and being wooed. Black love exists!! (Despite the media alarms that it’s endangered–it still exists.) It’s something special to see your friends giddy and grinning.  What’s more uplifting than the aura of love infused in the atmosphere?  Positivity is contagious!  Let it infect you!

There’s nothing like the feeling of a new connection.  The stolen glances at the guy across the room whose good looks caught your eye. The charming smile sent your way to acknowledge that the interest is mutual.  The instant spark you feel as soon as he enters your energy field to introduce himself and find out who you are.  The natural flirting that neither of you can help.  It feels great when you go out on your first (and second and third) date and your heart flutters as he dotes on you and stares into you, learning you, allowing himself to be learned.  And it’s astounding when you could talk to him until daylight or when you can sit with him without a word spoken.

It’s really only supposed to work out once–which means it won’t work out who knows how many times before that.  Although I sometimes kick myself for being (maybe too) open and vulnerable, I wouldn’t trade those immensely charged feelings of being connected to someone, desire, anticipation, hope, inspiration, promise for the hope of never feeling disappointed, rejected, abandoned.  You won’t know if it’s meant to be unless you step out on faith and see.

Love is in the air.  Jump up and grab some.