Today seems like one of those days that I’m supposed to pick up on a common theme. Well, a few seconds ago, I figured it out when my bestie emailed me the inspirational start of a story that’s destined for a happy ending. She and her mother are on a journey together to build up her mom’s spirit. And their closeness and today’s triumph reminded me immediately of an interchange my mom and I had this morning.
Somewhat randomly during a convo this morning, my mom said this:
You are such a joy to me. I just want you to know you live up to the renewal of hope your name invokes. Love you.
That made me tear up this morning, and it’s making me tear up now. (And on top of the teariness LYH’s email just invoked, I need to chill out before I’m on the extreme side of things I just mentioned!) The relationship between mother and daughter is an amazing one. I’ve spent my life loving my mom and trying to make her proud, and she spent hers trying to make my life exponentially better than hers. At some point, we transitioned from just a parent-child relationship to a parent-child-friends relationship. And now that I’m an adult, I understand the sacrifices she has made, and I worry about her probably just as much as she worries about me. Now, add to the loving and the making proud other things such as checking up on, praying for, trying to prevent worry and stress, defending and threatening on behalf of–all the stuff I owe her for being there for me since even before I was born.
Here’s to all the mothers and daughters out there who are ride or die with each other! We could not be where we are without the exceptional love of them, and we’re trying our best to return the favor now. Love you, mama!
Well, the Gospel Extravaganza is tomorrow, and I’m experiencing several emotions. I’m excited, worried, nervous, and the list goes on. But most of all, what started out as a marketing ploy has really become an aha moment. I decided to join the lineup in hopes that people I know would come out just to hear me sing. Because I’m not so diligent in finding opportunities to use all of my talents, there are a ton of people who have no idea I can sing. And the one time I sang on a stage in GA in 2007, it was kinda iffy. I dunno why. Well, yeah I do. I was nervous, I was upset about my hair, I was ready for the event to be over, and a ton of other issues.
I joined the choir at my church a couple of years ago, but I haven’t made my Thursday free in order for me to go to choir rehearsal so that’s been a bust. Last year, I sang as one half of a duet in my line sister’s wedding, and that was exhilarating! So why haven’t I made singing a priority? *shrug* I don’t really know. So I was UBER nervous before rehearsal last night, but when I got that mic in my hand and let the notes start flowing, I was back in my element. So when will I give all my talents some attention? I definitely don’t want to lose any of them, especially not my voice. I just have so many that I struggle to understand why they were given to me or what I’m supposed to do with them or how they fit together with each other (if they do at all!). I mean, singing is something I love. Even though Smokie is the only one who hears me on a regular basis. I definitely need to get with it!
When I sing, I express and fully feel emotions that aren’t normally expressed by me. I can be a somewhat a-emotional person. I’m kind of an extremist. Either I’m not expressive at all or I blow up. Never too much in the middle. But when I sing, emotions relevant to the song just well up and overflow. Happiness, excitement, sadness, hurt, anger, anxiety, hope, enthusiasm, all of it. There’s a song that parallels anything I’m feeling and can’t quite get out. Music just does something to my soul. So here’s to sanging, and here’s to a successful concert on tomorrow!