Brain Dump

Brain Dump

Whoa nah!  I have tons of stuff on my mind, and I don’t even really know where to start or what I want to get off of it.

So this post may end up being total stream of consciousness.  And I’m random like that, so that’s a-ok with me.

I’ve said on multiple occasions that I tend to have a grudge-holding problem, but I’ve been actively trying to combat that because as we know acknowledgement is the first step, but there are still other steps.  So after prayer and meditation, I made some steps toward reconciling with an old friend.  The convo started off kinda tough because expressing pinned up emotion and listening to other people tell you want they think is wrong with you usually are, but I was able to put the right amount of compassion into my responses to her, and I think we’re on our way to being friends again one day.  BUT the good news is that I have let go of my lingering frustrations and bad vibes over that situation.  I was able to release it, and all it took was allowing myself to express my feelings in a constructive way–despite what she said to me.  No yelling, no blowing up.  Stay cooool. 🙂 *Progress!*

Speaking of old friends, one of my childhood friends emailed me yesterday morning and let me know that her nephew is having brain surgery.  You know, the stuff you kinda just think happens on TV.  So she, her nephew, and their family have been at the top of my prayer list.  She sent me an update this morning and he made it through the surgery fine, and now we’re waiting to hear what the new test results are.  I really hope he makes it through, ready to enjoy a full, happy, inspired life.

Inspiration… What inspires you?  What inspires me?  Feeling like I’m making a difference inspires me.  I had a hectic week at work last week, but it was all to the good because I really feel like my job is setting me up to make some real impacts.   Even seeing a reference in a newspaper article to a research document I created set my spirits on fire.  I’m not just working everyday to earn a paycheck (although that is oh so necessary lol)–my work is being prodded and probed and considered and acted on.  It’s because of my long hours that somebody somewhere made a decision that will have far-stretching impacts in a city, a county, or even a region or state.  That matters to me.  I’ve come to learn that I put in my hardest work when I feel like I or it matters.  If I don’t see the significance, it’s hard for me to buckle down and get er done.  Knowing that is helping me to prioritize and better use my time (and say a much needed no more often).

And a certain something has me daydreaming and grinning.  Buuuuuuut I’ll let that stay in my head for awhile. Just for superstition’s sake.  No jinxes please.  Just fun times ahead.  Hmmmmm…

Speaking of fun, softball has been kicking my lazy, out-of-shape butt, but being around black folks in a ball park has done something to me.  It makes me feel more at home.  I can remember going to the ballpark with my mom to watch my dad play.  It’s a really vague memory, lol, but I remember, nonetheless.  My aunt would be keeping score or somewhere near us.  And it was just fun times with laughter and sometimes the smell of food on the grill filling the air.  It took me 8 years to find that in Atlanta!!  And right in time for the summer.  Yippie ya!

I don’t even know what else is swirling around in this complicated mind o’ mine.  Besides that something I don’t want to deliberate on. 🙂  lol you want to know, don’t you? Too bad, so sad!  haha  Anyway, there have been lots in the news I could talk about, but most of it is negative and I’m in too good of a mood to get on my soap box today.  So maybe tomorrow.  In the meantime, get your groove on with one of my newest jams.  I know you want to…

P.S. If you don’t have one–get a mantra or two.  Mine are “Positivity prevails” and “Focus on the miracle.”  They come in handy!!  You gotta align your perspective up with your circumstance to make it through tough times.  Remember that your attitude is often your testimony.  Ok, I’m done for real this time.  Tootleloo!

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