Month: June 2010

Be true to you.

Be true to you.

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I got an extremely random set of text messages today, and it got me thinking. I want to share with you my conclusion from the exchange.

Lesson of the Day:  Be true to yourself. Consider advice from others, but make your own decisions. Follow your own heart and conscience.  At the end of the day, no one will live with ur regrets but you. So why be bound by other people’s opinions?

I was blessed to have parents who believed in letting me be me.  When I was faced with the decision of whether or not to skip my senior year of high school and start college at 16, my mom said, “This one is on you.  I’m not going to make this decision for you and have you resenting me one day if you don’t do what you really want.”  I will always remember those words.

I truly believe everything happens as they are supposed to–but how we feel about all of everything depends on several factors.  Attitude and perspective (during and after the fact) are part of it, but our regrets play a major role as well.

Listen up.  You only have one life.  Live it the way you’re led to live it.  Don’t depend on anyone else to bestow upon you the dreams they have.  Accept the ones God puts inside of you, and pursue those.  Don’t wait for anyone’s permission.  DO YOU.

Mushy Musings, Part Deux

Mushy Musings, Part Deux

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Yesterday, I posted 5 songs, all performed by the ladies, so today, I’ll post 5 from the guys on my Mushy Moments playlist.  Yep, it’s Friday, and the stresses of the week are sliding off my back.  Still daydreaming I am.

I could really do this whole post and a couple more with Musiq and Raheem.  But I’ll try to restrain myself.  I’m posting the songs as I go/as they come to mind, so we’ll see what happens.

All we had were letters till we formed the words/Started from the lyrics till we found the verses that can bridge us through/Baby we could be the greatest love song…

I dream of singing this with Mr. Man while gazing into his eyes and swaying to the music.  I really love this song.  How can anyone not want to be smitten after listening to this?

I’ll be something like the rebirth of love with a twist/it started with a simple kiss/what could be more precious then the rebirth of love?

This song puts into words why I’m open-minded and is a fave on my playlist. Raheem really is one of my favorite male singers ever.  I’ve been a fan since he was in Crossrhodes.  Yes, I have the mixtapes and the albums.  I’ve been to all but one concert that he’s done in Atlanta.  I’m a borderline Stan.  If you haven’t picked up the latest album, go get it.  Especially you conscious minded folks out there. 🙂

Don’t want you to escape cuz I know true love is hard to find–so I keep her heart in mine…

Brandon Hines is a slept on artist.  I found out about him in 07 (I think), and I’ve been a fan since.  Check him out at his website and on youtube.

I would gladly walk you home, but you’re already here…

Cee-Lo Green is another artist I follow.  His creativity is like none other.  Here’s one of my faves from Cee-Lo Green…Is the Soul Machine.

Your love, your love is amazing. One touch takes me a thousand places…

Van Hunt makes me smile.  I thought of a couple of other songs from his first album, but they have a slight depressing undertone.  But this one finishes off this post perfectly.

Happy Friday, folks!  I hope you have a positive, relaxing, and satisfying weekend!

Mushy Musings

Mushy Musings

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Here are a couple of songs I can’t stop listening to.  Join me in my mushy daydreaming fest.

Sir Greendown, I need your shining light…

Say you’ll go to Nirvana.  Will you leave Samsara? … Let’s find forever, and write our names in fire on each other’s hearts.

Don’t sleep on Janelle Monae…  If you haven’t purchased her new album, you need to do so as soon as you finish reading my blog. 🙂  It’s a banger from beginning to end.

Hearts led, baby–it’s your deal. Umm hmm

Same goes with New Amerykah Part II.  Erykah Badu keeps me on my groove thang.  Really, I could just make this whole post about Janelle and Erykah, who are performing tonight in Memphis and I so wish I would be there.

Back in them days my heart never made a sound/Now it’s beating like my head’s in the clouds

Oldie but goodie.  I love Alice Smith’s voice.  She will always and forever make my Mushy Moments playlist.

My arms brag to each other about how you feel–from conversations, I know what they feel is real…

This is one of my fave Algebra songs.  It just put words and a melody to some special feelings.

I think 5 is a good number.  There are PLENTY more I could post though.  Music is so good for the soul.  One more day till the weekend, my friends!  Keep the positive vibes going!

Much Ado with a Jumbled Mind

Much Ado with a Jumbled Mind

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Ever so often, I’m bogged down with a bunch o’ thoughts swirling around nonstop in my head.  Last night despite aromatherapy, I just could not go to sleep.  What to do??  After lying awake for an hour or more with no promise of drowsiness, I got up, grabbed my journal, which has been heavily neglected lately, and wrote. And wrote. And wrote. And got all those haphazard thoughts out.  Then I meditated.  And I followed my heart.

Then I put my head on my pillow and got some rest.

Story of the Chase

Story of the Chase

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So I mentioned a couple of days ago that an ex of mine was chased through North Jackson.  A couple of people asked for that story.  What I didn’t mention was that I was in the car!  I went to my old blog and found this story and am just pasting it here.  I told it on 9/16/03.  It happened late 1998.  This incident occurred about a year before we dated–at the time, he was my best guy pal.  Here goes–enjoy.  All in “the life and times”–lol.

Per request of my readers, I have to write about the psycho ho I started talking about yesterday morning. Well, December of my freshman yr, my car was in the shop so my guy friend picked me up from work. We were planning to go by the hospital first to visit his cousin who has sickle-cell anemia, and then he would take me home. Well, we eventually got to the hospital but not after a whole lotta drama. While on the way to the hospital that girl, with whom he was no longer with or so he still says, saw us. I dunno if it was the fact that he had a girl in his car that made her snap and lose her senses or if she actually saw me.

Anyway, she started chasing us, so he tried to lose her by quickly getting in a turn lane and getting on the interstate. Well, like in a horror movie, that didn’t lose her. So he got off of the interstate with the rationale that he would go to his grandma’s house so that his grandma could deal with her craziness. Oh, I forgot to say that you should picture all this in heavy rain and hail. So we were stopped at a stop light and she proceeded to hit us with her car. That’s when I got scared. I was like it’s terrible weather out here and this “ho” is tryna kill us–we could have hydroplaned or something. While fear striked for me, anger struck for my friend. He kept driving to his grandma’s house. There is a stop sign before you get to his house. She sped up, got in front of us, and slammed on her brakes, trying to get him to hit her. He luckily had already been slowing down, so we didn’t hit her, but he was like, “Lock the doors,” and got out of the car. As soon as he got out, she got out and jumped on him. Well, he was brought up not to hit women in any circumstances, so he just put her in one of those football holds and carried her all the way to his house. By the way, he was also the star quarterback for his high school. Anyway, I was sitting in the car in disbelief as the rain and hail beat down on the car. Finally, he came back down the street and took me home.

Later, after everybody’s heartbeat was back to normal, we went on to the hospital, although I was kinda scared. He later told me that wasn’t the first time she went psycho, and I got pissed about that. We ended up not talking for awhile, why I can’t even remember, but I heard through some mutual friends that she had thrown a brick at his car at school a couple of months later… Forgive me for remembering so many details, but I just had never, haven’t since, (and hopefully won’t ever) experienced anything like that. No man is worth all that–tearing up my car, putting my life in immediate danger, setting myself up to be arrested for attempted vehicular homicide or something? Hell naw.

Update: No, I’ve not experienced anything else as crazy since.  Whew.  Hope you’re all having a mellow Monday.

Jitney

Jitney

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This afternoon, a friend of mine and I went to the Alliance Theatre and enjoyed a great production written by the great August Wilson called Jitney.

Set in 1977 in a jitney stop (car service) in Pittsburgh, this production explored a range of topics still relevant to the black community, including the disconnect between generations, alcoholism, the role of men in households and families, love and forgiveness, the importance of communication between romantic partners, the effects of war on young soldiers, the lack of support for small businesses in some cities, and the list goes on.  This would have made for a great Reads and Reels discussion!

In addition to the  great music played between scenes (classics like Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give It Up”), I really enjoyed the light banter and surefire black lingo infused into the script. The characters were real to me because I could definitely hear my daddy talking like these guys were. Although the plot was very heavy overall, the production made good use of comic relief.

It made me smile to see so many black folk at the theatre, supporting the arts. If you haven’t seen it, make sure to put this on your list of things to do this month. Jitney runs through June 27.

I want it all!

I want it all!

by Ranada ♥ 9 Comments

From the time I thought that boys were no longer icky and were worthy of interest, endless thoughts, and daydreams, I’ve always had a “type”.  Of course, physical characteristics were always important–my mom always told me “you have to wake up to him in the morning” and “you need to think of your kids.” But if we took a look at all the guys I’ve ever crushed on or dated, I think one thing they mostly all had in common was that they were strong personalities dipped in lots of charm.  I don’t know what it is, but I’ve always liked that guy who loves (or at least is comfortable in) the spotlight, knows everybody there is to know, and spends his time mapping out and taking action toward his passions.  And many times I’ve blamed this insatiable desire for my dating woes.  The guys I actually liked back were the guys with girls chasing them down the block (no, really–one ex had a girl chase him down State St, 220, and Northside Drive in Jackson in a car, but that’s another story) and doing whatever they can to divert his attention; the guys whose dreams were so big that they didn’t know how or didn’t want to juggle, and I never knew if I’d ever be a sizable priority in their lives.

Yet, I have not been willing to (or maybe even able to) take this characteristic off my “list”.  There’s just something about a guy who has mastered his social skills and oozes a certain self-confidence and who is all about doing something major while he’s on earth that makes me fan myself. And I’m fine with that.  Why? Because I think as we get older, I’m more likely to find the sharp, charismatic guy who is that able to provide me with the balance that has been missing for so long (and yes this is an ambiguous statement–I need help with my own balance and he needs to have some level of balance on his own).  We’re all growing into ourselves, right? So once we know what we want, including our partner–don’t we do want we have to do to manage all things important?

So I said all that to introduce an interesting Twitter convo that made me say hmmm.

JHJeffers: RT @DGJ_1977: RT @RHYMEFEST: So ladies be careful what you ask for, because loving ambitious, charismatic & powerful men comes with a cost.

Me: Which is? RT @JHJeffers: RT @RHYMEFEST: So ladies be careful what u ask for bc loving ambitious, charismatic & powerful men comes w a cost.

JHJeffers: @NadaJo: Powerful men often have a strong desire to control and have egos that are out of this world

Me: A few r humble but I can c it RT @JHJeffers @NadaJo: Powerful men often have a strong desire to control&have egos that are out of this world

JHJeffers: @NadaJo ‎​Charismatic men are super flirtatious and sometimes cross the line

Me: I see RT @JHJeffers: @NadaJo ‎​Charismatic men are super flirtatious and sometimes cross the line

JHJeffers: @NadaJo Ambitious men spend long hours working, Sometimes @ the expense of marriage

Me: Mm hmm RT @JHJeffers: @NadaJo Ambitious men spend long hours working, Sometimes @ the expense of marriage

Me: @JHJeffers so basically we ladies who like pwrful, charismatic, ambitious men need to also pray that he has humility, self-ctrl, and balance

Me: #icandothat

JHJeffers: @NadaJo: Yeeeaaaahhhhh, but I would just shoot for 2 out of 3 #imjustsaying

HarlemFaith: (Well said) RT @NadaJo so we ladies who like pwrful, charismatic, ambitious men need to pray he has humility, self-ctrl, and balance

HarlemFaith: @NadaJo I don’t know if I agree with everything @jhjeffers is saying.. but it’s interesting.

Me (knowing this will turn into a blog post, maybe even a series cuz this is getting good! heehee): What do u think? RT @HarlemFaith: @NadaJo I don’t know if I agree with everything @jhjeffers is saying.. but it’s interesting.

HarlemFaith: @NadaJo @jhjeffers I don’t like the fact that the argument seemed so segmented and over generalized. Yes, those characteristics make ppl

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers successful but powerful men(and women) in lasting relationships know when to turn them on and off.

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers too much of anything is bad…. and there’s a time and place for everything.

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers… I want my man to be just as ambitious as I am.. (and he is) when we are together that energy is directed towards me.

HarlemFaith: For a while, me and many of my counterparts were told that our ambitious, agressive personalities were the reason we didn’t have a man

HarlemFaith: I disagree.. I think there is a time and place for anything. and the key to a successful relationship without losing who you are is figuring out how to channel that intense energy.. and use it for good. lol. Use those same skills to please your man.

HarlemFaith: I’m a big proponent of playing my “position”. I can be your woman (opinionated and all) but still allow you to be the man.

Me: YES! RT @HarlemFaith I’m a big proponent of playing my “position”. I can be ur woman (opinionated & all) but still allow you to be the man.

The convo is still going on.  But I’ll do a poll.  Can we (I) have it all?  Is it possible to have what we want plus the balance needed to make the relationship last and thrive?  Do we have to choose between the power, charisma, and ambition and the devotion and dedication?  Chime in!

Love Quote of the Day

Love Quote of the Day

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

I had to love myself enough to say “no” to the good and leave room for the “great”.

Hug yourself!

When folks tell you you’re too “picky” or when you’re considering staying in some janky situation in which you’re not happy or fulfilled, think of this quote! By the way, I got it from this article (Choosing a Better Kind of Love) .

I’m also co-signing this blog post (Stop It with the Ugly Girl Problems (Unless You’re an Ugly Girl)).  Don’t settle for less!

Be blessed, folks!