When the Fighter Is Tired

When the Fighter Is Tired

A couple of nights ago, my mom told me that my aunt Rita wasn’t doing so well. I knew she was starting to prepare me for the worst, but somewhere in my brain I couldn’t believe that my aunt, who has always been the epitome of a fighter, whether for her kids, for her grandchildren, for her nieces and nephews, for her brothers, for her parents, out on the softball field, or for her life—this isn’t her first battle with cancer, would start giving up. Even though signs were pointing to her possibly being too tired to keep pushing through this one, no not my Rita Kaye, who carries tasers and pocket knives on her at all times. So although it’s been weighing on my mind, I couldn’t allow myself to get really upset about the possibility of losing yet another special family member so soon.

Earlier that day, my pastor had sent this text:

Eph 2:8 for by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.

Then yesterday morning, I got this Bible verse of the day.

Psalm 46:1-3

46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah…

Verse 2 really hit a nerve for me!

Then this morning, I got this one.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound…

Then, when I had my daily commute convo with my mom this morning, she told me that my aunt is willing to try another route of treatment, which says to us that she is definitely not giving up. This fight is just a little more daunting than the other times. I didn’t cry when my ma told me she was worried about her, but I did cry this morning because I just want to keep being able to see her when I visit, and I want Frederick to see why I love her so much. And I want Frederick to show her his baseball skills too–add to the family tradition, you know. 🙂 So I am keeping faith that she’ll win again against the ugliness of cancer.

My family seems to be ground zero for cancer. I’ve lost several family members to different variations of the disease, and I have a couple of survivors that I keep in my brain any time I even think I may want to start worrying about whether or not I will fight it myself. And yes, it’s always a slight possibility in my brain–I have had a serious headache for over a week, and I kept steering myself from being afraid that it was more serious than maybe stress. (And, no, I am NOT a hypochondriac!) Turns out it’s a sinus infection. 🙂 But this just speaks to how much family (BOTH sides) has dealt with cancer. And even still, I usually don’t participate in Relay for Life, but how can I not this year with my dad’s only sister fighting for her life as we speak? So I am participating, and I hope you will either join my team, if you are in Atlanta, or support my fundraising efforts. Just remember–someone you know, maybe even you or me, may need the cure in the future.

relayforlife

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