An American Legend on the Big Screen

An American Legend on the Big Screen

Wednesday night I had the opportunity to attend a screening of 42. The movie wasn’t the greatest of all time, but it’s definitely worth going to see.

42-posterLast weekend, I told my daddy I was planning to see it and asked him if he was going to go see it. He said no to my surprise—my dad is a baseball fanatic. But his reason made perfect sense… Although he is beyond proud of Jackie Robinson, his pioneer move into the major leagues marked the end of the Negro Leagues, in which my dad had always dreamed of playing. My granddad was a manager for a team, and my family is entrenched in baseball. Before dad’s shoe shop burned down, it was ground zero for Negro Leagues memorabilia—the walls were stocked with posters, jerseys, caps, and even flyers from back in the day. My dad, uncles, and aunt all played baseball/softball. My brother played. All my aunt’s grandchildren play. I have played softball and keep wondering when I’ll start back. A couple of the things I’m most looking forward to is taking my dad and son to a Braves game and sitting in the stands when my son starts playing. I say all that to set the tone for why I was so excited to see this movie. Baseball is a living and breathing entity to the Robinsons.

So here goes—a brief review of the movie. Bottom line: Go see it!

The Good

  1. I could just nod my head when Mr. Rickey (and no, it’s not lost on me that Rickey and Robinson make up my dad’s name 🙂 )  told Jack when he was offering him the chance to go to training camp with Montreal: [paraphrased] Do you have the guts NOT to fight back? To win, you will need to be two things: a fine gentleman and a great baseball player. One thing my ma has told her children time and time again is that it doesn’t matter what other people can do and get away with. As a black person you have to be twice as good and you have to keep your hands clean. People will be watching you, and they will punish you to the fullest extent if they can. So it was nice to hear it on the big screen. These folks can scream at you and demean you, but if you fight back, all they will say is “He couldn’t handle it.” And this is a guy who was discharged from the army because he wouldn’t sit in the back of a bus. He had been fighting for a long time, so I found a little inspiration in that he was strong enough to pick his battles.
  2. I loved loved loved how important his wife was to him. This movie really highlighted how a strong man can lean on his woman to get through trials. She was allowed to be the only wife to go to training camp because Mr. Rickey knew he needed her in his corner. Every time he looked up in the stands for her from the field, my heart melted.jackie and family
  3. Even though it was one of the cheesy moments in the movie (that I’ll discuss a little later), I really was moved in the scene when he talked about how his dad was never there for him—he didn’t have good or bad memories because he just wasn’t there, but he vowed to be there for his son. What an image to display on the big screen—a black man who loved and cherished and anchored his family. Thank you, Hollywood!
  4. Best casting: Alan Tudyk for Ben Chapman, manager of the Phillies. Boy, if no one else was believable as a racist redneck, he definitely was. I mean, his character alone is reason for me not to want my dad to go see this movie. I know he’d be steaming mad at this one crazy azz guy. I did appreciate finding out where this pic came from: Chapman-and-Jackie-RobinsonIt is amazing how the green of money will make folks change their tune, at least in the public.
  5. I appreciated the story of Wendell Smith, who was a hero and pioneer in his own rite in journalism. It’s amazing to see all the moving pieces that have made history what it is. No man is an island. We all need help along our journey!
  6. Last (for this post—there were a lot of good moments in the movie) but certainly not least, shout out to the good looking stars of the movie. Boy, Chadwick Boseman is a tall glass of refreshing water. Hubba hubba!! And the Nicole Beharie was gorgeous! Any seamstresses out there need to hook a sister up with some replicas of her wardrobe!

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The Not So Good

  1. There were TONS of cheesy moments where you know good and well it didn’t happen in real life. The cinematic effects were on 10,000 in some scenes. Like gimme a break. Ain’t nobody said that in the 40s in the South. I won’t give examples since I don’t want to be a super spoiler, but I’m sure you will side eye or laugh like I did.
  2. There was a scene with Rachel and her baby that was super climactic, and I was on edge for the whole scene waiting for something to happen. It never did. Maybe because I’m a nervous, overprotective mom. I am happy nothing happened, but it just wasn’t cool for that scene to do me like that. LOL

Like I said, you gotta go see it. I’ll definitely be purchasing this when it’s released on DVD. Of course there was a little bit of rose tint on the glasses, but it didn’t take away from the reality that you know Jack Roosevelt Robinson went through to become the icon he is. All he wanted to do was play, and play he did!! Salute!

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When the Fighter Is Tired

When the Fighter Is Tired

A couple of nights ago, my mom told me that my aunt Rita wasn’t doing so well. I knew she was starting to prepare me for the worst, but somewhere in my brain I couldn’t believe that my aunt, who has always been the epitome of a fighter, whether for her kids, for her grandchildren, for her nieces and nephews, for her brothers, for her parents, out on the softball field, or for her life—this isn’t her first battle with cancer, would start giving up. Even though signs were pointing to her possibly being too tired to keep pushing through this one, no not my Rita Kaye, who carries tasers and pocket knives on her at all times. So although it’s been weighing on my mind, I couldn’t allow myself to get really upset about the possibility of losing yet another special family member so soon.

Earlier that day, my pastor had sent this text:

Eph 2:8 for by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.

Then yesterday morning, I got this Bible verse of the day.

Psalm 46:1-3

46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah…

Verse 2 really hit a nerve for me!

Then this morning, I got this one.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound…

Then, when I had my daily commute convo with my mom this morning, she told me that my aunt is willing to try another route of treatment, which says to us that she is definitely not giving up. This fight is just a little more daunting than the other times. I didn’t cry when my ma told me she was worried about her, but I did cry this morning because I just want to keep being able to see her when I visit, and I want Frederick to see why I love her so much. And I want Frederick to show her his baseball skills too–add to the family tradition, you know. 🙂 So I am keeping faith that she’ll win again against the ugliness of cancer.

My family seems to be ground zero for cancer. I’ve lost several family members to different variations of the disease, and I have a couple of survivors that I keep in my brain any time I even think I may want to start worrying about whether or not I will fight it myself. And yes, it’s always a slight possibility in my brain–I have had a serious headache for over a week, and I kept steering myself from being afraid that it was more serious than maybe stress. (And, no, I am NOT a hypochondriac!) Turns out it’s a sinus infection. 🙂 But this just speaks to how much family (BOTH sides) has dealt with cancer. And even still, I usually don’t participate in Relay for Life, but how can I not this year with my dad’s only sister fighting for her life as we speak? So I am participating, and I hope you will either join my team, if you are in Atlanta, or support my fundraising efforts. Just remember–someone you know, maybe even you or me, may need the cure in the future.

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2013 Reading List

2013 Reading List

I love finding out what I don’t know. Questions start swirling through my head, and I get childlike excitement about what I might possibly do with the new knowledge. Most of the time when I find something out, my first stop is google, then it’s Shelfari or Amazon or the Atlanta-Fulton Library System to find a book about it.

Now that I have a child, I have a lot less time to read, and when I do read, it’s 64th Annual Tony Awards - Showusually something that gives my brain time to relax. But last night, I went to see Fela! and my interest in African and African American history and world religions was piqued again (as well as my interest in yoga and getting fit–those dancers were amazing!). I decided that I needed to dust off my Shelfari bookshelf and spend a little bit of my non-work, non-baby, non-sleep time learning by reading. So my list is pretty short, just because I try to be as realistic as possible. And note that I do learn through fiction along with nonfiction because story lines can invoke questions or topics that I can go research later. If you’d like to join me with any of these, let me know.  I’d love to chat about each one after I finish. Also, if you need to purchase any of these, go through my new online store!

AngelaDavis

Angela Davis: An Autobiography

(Because I’m sooo excited about the upcoming release of Free Angela!)

MalcolmX

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Butterfly

My Name is Butterfly by Bernice McFadden

And if I get more down time, I’ll squeeze these in. Otherwise, the following list is a rough draft preview of 2014.

Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Ways of Dying by Zakes Mda

What are you reading? What Afro-centric books do you recommend?

In this moment

In this moment

moment4In the last two days, I’ve seen nifty Instagram and Pinterest photos and had several conversations about being in the moment. MESSAGE. lol! It’s difficult for me to fully be present in a moment because I’m usually planning the next two moments and/or worrying about the next three moments. I will admit, though, being a mother has given me the ability to let go and be present because it seems that Frederick is doing something new every second. In the evenings when I get home from work, I look forward to just being with him and talking to him and playing with him and reading to him. If I can just apply whatever magic happens when I’m with my baby that lets me block out what has happened and what might happen next to the rest of my life, I’d be living a helluva life.

A friend of mine asked me yesterday what is the purpose of life. I told her it’s to figure out how to be in the moment. And that most of us don’t learn until we’re too old and decrepit to enjoy it. She agreed. So here’s to me and anyone else out there trying to learn how to just be in the present.

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this moment

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E. Clare Stewart's avatarHBCUSTORY

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.

Booker T. Washington, educator, author, orator, Hampton Normal and Agricultural Institute (Hampton University), 1875

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Open Letter to My Son

Open Letter to My Son

Dear Frederick Daniel,

When you were still in my belly, I used to read a poem to you almost every day.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

This poem only begins to attempt to put into words what I feel for you. The depth of my love for you is more than I ever knew was even possible. You are my inspiration, my motivation, and my raison d’être. When I didn’t know how I would go on, you were my gentle push. I am an infinitely better person because of you. Every morning, when I look at your face when you pop up grinning after waking up, and every night, after you finally doze off after a long day of adventure, I thank God for the privilege of being your mother. I will always put your needs first (even if you don’t like it as you get older!), and I will always do what I can to expose you to the tangible and intangible things that will help you grow into a strong, productive, respectful man. Taking care of you makes me want to take care of myself. Loving you makes me know that I’m not only capable of giving love, but receiving it. You are truly the best thing I never knew I needed, and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve brought and will bring to my life.

I love you more than meager words can express.

Love, Mommy

February of my 2013 custom calendar :)
February of my 2013 custom calendar 🙂
Something to Get Off My Unhairy Chest

Something to Get Off My Unhairy Chest

So I know I’ve been ghost (being a single mother is consuming!) and I know I usually try to only publish positive posts, but I’ve got to share this:

What Is the Definition of Manhood?
What Is the Definition of Manhood?

I already think about this regularly since every now and then, I hear comments or see slick pictures about single mothers being their own reason for their plight. Let’s be clear. Yes, I made a mistake: thinking that the guy I cared for would care for me. But it’s not a woman’s fault if he makes a conscious decision to be a suck ass father, especially if she’s tried to bridge the co-parenting gap. People can say or think what they want about me being a single mom, but I’m slowly but surely learning that the only person I can control is Ranada. And my job is to make sure my son knows he is loved, secure, and taken care of. I sacrifice daily and nightly for him, and if people can’t understand that raising a child alone is not a cup of tea, so the freak what? The only people that matter are the people who care about and love me and my little family and support me, not try to tear me down. Ok, now moving on.  In the words of Beyonce, any questions?

This really hit home this week because the asswipe across the street has threatened me twice in a week. A grown ass “man” who doesn’t even know me bringing his ass outside to scream and curse at a single woman with a 20 lb dog. Am I supposed to respect this person who  is beating on his chest in front of someone who clearly couldn’t take him physically if I had to? But no worries, I’ve reported him to my HOA and I plan on filing a police report later today. It makes no sense that I can’t walk my damn dog without worrying if this lunatic is going to come outside acting crazy. After the first threat, I really was just pissed off. But after the second, I’m kind of alarmed because of stories like this. People are crazy!!!!! And with this guy, I feel like if you really think it’s okay to harass a single woman just because you think she doesn’t have anyone to back her up, YOU SUCK. And you’re not a man. You’re a punk ass bully.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, back to the regularly scheduled positive program. If you’re missing me, please like my Facebook page or follow my Twitter page–I post on there often. Just remember, the black community will NEVER be strong if men don’t cherish and respect women and vice versa. Women weren’t put here to be doormats–we were put here to complement our men and help build our communities up. So if all else fails, use the golden rule. Treat others the way you’d want to be treated. Happy Thursday!

BTW – the Hindu question in the picture means “Do you have any idea whose son I am?” (disclaimer: according to the internet!)
Happy 2013!

Happy 2013!

The new year has commenced, and I’m happy about it! Much of 2012 sucked monkey balls for me, and I’m very enthusiastic about 2013 and the refreshed outlook I have on my life. Life is good. My baby is beautiful and healthy. My dog allows me to have peace every now and then. I love my hair. I have amazing family and friends. I love my job. I did a lot of reprogramming myself to shift my focus to what is good in 2012, and it has worked because I feel great these days. 🙂

I wish for you a year of triumphs, lessons, laughs, love, and fun. Happy New Year!

On God’s Voice

On God’s Voice

I have the same hope for Frederick.

E. Clare Stewart's avatarHBCUSTORY

My hope for my children must be that they respond to the still small voice of God in their own heart.

Andrew Young, Politician, human rights activist and businessman, Howard University ’51

Andrew Young

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