Category: Mommy time

31 Days of Thanksgiving (Part 3 of 3)

31 Days of Thanksgiving (Part 3 of 3)

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Here’s the final installment. I wonder if I’ve been more positive as I take the time each day to speak out loud (and write out) something I’m thankful for. I think I’ll keep it going in a journal. Anywho, here goes!

24. I’m just thankful for life and love. Thankful for a good day.

[Update: This wasn’t a cop out. I really just had a good content day.]

25. I’m thankful for so much it’s overwhelming! I’m thankful for the opportunity to give God’s blessing to me back to Him. I’m thankful that Frederick knows and is loved by all four of his grandparents. I’m thankful that my grandmother has had the opportunity to hold Frederick multiple times. I’m thankful to have had both of my brothers, both of my parents, both of my aunts, 1st cousins from both sides of my family, and two special friends witness Frederick’s blessing today and eat with us after. I’m thankful for Rev. Daniel Watkins who keeps me prayed up and reminds whose I am when I’m starting to forget. I’m thankful for family, fellowship, and faith.

Rev. Daniel Watkins and Frederick Daniel
Baby Blessing – 11/25/12

26. I’m thankful to have gotten home safely after a long trip with a teething baby. I’m thankful to have found my home safe and sound. I’m thankful for a wonderful but too short trip to my home base.

27. I’m thankful for protection against dangers seen and unseen. I’m also thankful that my teething baby is finally sleep. Guess I need to close my eyes too.

28. I’m thankful (and sad at the same time) that Frederick is such a big boy. He ate food for the first time today and was a champ. I’m thankful he didn’t spit those green beans back at me, lol.

All done - Yum yum mama!
All done – Yum yum mama!

[Update: Day #3 of eating green beans was 10x messier than the first day. It was full of Frederick grabbing the spoon trying to feed himself and blowing green spit bubbles. :)]

29. I’m thankful for imagination and the ability to dream. My mom Mary Robinson and I had fun planning what we’d do with $500 million, lol. And now that we’ve awaken from that dream, I’m thankful for the provisions I already have!

30. I’m unbelievably thankful that today is Friday and I don’t have a busy weekend ahead. I’m going to straighten up downstairs and decorate the house, and I’m going to take Frederick to the Atlanta Botanical Garden with TEO to see their lights display. And I’m going to cook a couple of times (including this breakfast rice I scarfed down at Zion Travelers on Thanksgiving). And I’m going to RELAX.

Just the beginning!
Just the beginning!

31. I’m thankful to have an awesome support system in my family, my friends, and my sorors. I’m thankful for the “best of times and the worst of times” 2012 brought because it has made me the woman I am, and I kinda like me! I’m also thankful for following through with my 31 days of Thanksgiving. There’s always something to be thankful for each and every moment, we just have to remember to focus on the good and work around the rest.

The End. (Or maybe just the beginning!)

31 Days of Thanksgiving (Part 2 of 3)

31 Days of Thanksgiving (Part 2 of 3)

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Here’s the second installment, and I’m stopping on the special day that was my BIRTHDAY!! I’m blessed. 🙂

Content

12. I’m thankful for 3 day weekends. I feel as rested as a single mother of a five month old can feel, lol. Also, Happy Veterans Day to all who have served, past and present, especially my grandfathers and my cousins!

13. I’m thankful for God’s perfection. I appreciate him not always letting me have my way because he knows my future and what needs to happen to get me there. Who knows where I’d be if my plans always worked out. What glitters isn’t always gold. Or even if it glittered with no glitches, my imagination is small stuff compared to what God can do.

14. I’m thankful for my health and for Frederick’s health. We haven’t had any major problems since he got here. I’m also very thankful to have been able to nurse him thus far! <side note: as I was typing this status, a flu shot commercial came on–was that a omen???>

[update: I went and got a flu shot later that week and still got sick, lol]

15. I’m thankful for the gift of resourcefulness. I’ve learned how to think outside the box when I need to. Small example: I got to work this morning and realized I forgot to pack bottles for pumping. I found a couple of rubber bands, grabbed some storage bags, and made it do what it do. 🙂

16. I’m thankful for The Learning Village and my daycare provider Dianne Coggins. I can breathe more easily knowing that someone I know and trust is caring for Frederick while I’m at work. It definitely made my transition back into the working world easier. I’m also thankful that she gives parents a Parents Night Out, which I’m gonna use to go get my hair laid and treat myself to dinner and maybe a movie if I take a nap under the dryer. 🙂

[update: I didn’t go to the movies, but I did make a full spa day out of the afternoon/evening. I got my hair done as planned, then got a mani/pedi and visited Sweet Samba before treating myself to dinner!]

17. I am thankful for a reason to get glammed up! I love formal events, semi-formal events, cocktail events, etc. Any reason to put on a beautiful dress, get the hair in a special do, and use more makeup than usual. And to think, I was the rebel quasi-tomboy girl back when I was invited to participate in my first pageant in 10th grade. Boy, how things change. AND I’m thankful if you’re supporting The Twenty Pearls Foundation Incorporated tonight and attending A Hush Affair!

All dolled up

18. I’m thankful for the adversity my friends and I have faced, and we still find ways to thrive this year. No one told me 2012 would be rough, but God has a plan–and we are being made better! #muchlove

Peter 3:3

19. I’m thankful for solution-oriented friends. In the last 36 hours, Jennifer, Vee, Kendra, Rashida, and Ashleyhave figured out how to make something happen for me. Thanks ladies! Smooches!

20. I’m thankful for my neighbors. I always wanted to live in a neighborhood where I liked the people living around me, and Candace, Latoya, and Mary are awesome! I appreciate them more than they know!

21. I’m thankful for traveling grace. I’m also thankful for peace of mind. After you’ve done all you can, you just stand.

22. I’m thankful for our holiday tradition of attending church and breakfast at Zion Travelers Baptist Church. I am thankful for a church family that has been a support system no matter where in the world I am!

23. I’m thankful for 31 years of blessings, adventures, and laughs. And I’m thankful for a timeline full of birthday wishes. And most of all, I’m thankful to bring in my 31st birthday as a mommy to my sweet sweet thang!

Mail from the President

Mail from the President

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Today when I got home, I saw Frederick’s name on an envelope and immediately got excited! We finally got our welcome letter from the President and First Lady of the United States of America! It’s extra special since the President was re-elected just 3 days before it was sent out. I can’t wait to add this to Frederick’s memory book, and to show it to him when we read his Obama book and Sesame Street I Can Be President book when he’s old enough to know what I’m reading to him. I’ll probably also add a picture of him in his Babies for Obama onesie and another in his Future President onesie. 🙂

Still just a little big, but just you wait!

We also received a postcard from the Disney family in August. I’m including that in Frederick’s memory book too, but I didn’t think it warranted its own blog post, lol.

If you are pregnant or recently had a baby, you can get these items as well. To get a note from the White House, send a birth announcement to: White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. 20500. Luckily, I didn’t have to think about it because my lovely line sister who works on Capitol Hill submitted a request for me. Thanks, Hope! To get a postcard from Disney, send them the information to Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Walt Disney World, 1675 N Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830.

🙂

No Children Allowed

No Children Allowed

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

Last Sunday, I visited a church in College Park for the first time with a group of friends. I was excited until I tried to enter the sanctuary and was blocked by an usher who said, “We have a nursery.” I replied, “Thanks, but I’m not interested.” She then said, “We have a wonderful staff. I can take you back there.” I replied, “No thank you. He’s staying with me.” She said, “They really don’t like children in the sanctuary. You should consider using our nursery.” To which I said, “I’m not taking him to your nursery. I’m a visitor.” I can only imagine the look on my face at this point, so she finally said “Okay, we can give it a try.” I had my tongue set to say, “You know what… I can just go back home.” So as I sat next to my friends who were looking bewildered because I disappeared for a few minutes due to my detainment, I felt extremely uncomfortable and distracted. Any time Frederick even quietly babbled to his hands, I was looking over my shoulder to see if I was about to be escorted off the premises.

Just when I started feeling less anxious because we had made it through the sermon with no loud noises or crying, we stood up for visitor recognition, and the pastor decided to call me out in front of the entire congregation by telling me they have a nursery, although my baby was very sweet–maybe the sweetest they’ve ever had. Color me embarrassed. Thanks for making sure I absolutely do not feel welcome.

Here’s the thing… I’ve waited this long to take Frederick to church (except when he was a month old and I was still in my hometown surrounded by the church family I grew up with) because I wanted to make sure that we both were ready. Frederick is a wonderful baby who is really only fussy when he’s hungry. So I went to church armed with a couple of bottles, looking for a pew in the back of the sanctuary so that I could get up quickly if he started getting loud unexpectedly. I totally understand how distracting an unruly or upset child can be–I’ve been in front of a couple. But to expect a brand new visitor to leave her four month old with perfect strangers?? Not okay. And to basically make me feel like I’M the one with the problem because I’m not willing to?? Not cool. I’ve been to churches with nurseries–however, I’ve never been to one where the nursery is mandatory. I’m not comfortable with that one bit.

So here are just a few of the reasons that Frederick will be with me on Sunday mornings for the foreseeable future:

1. I would have to be a nursery worker myself or be very familiar with the nursery staff to leave my baby. It seems there is a new report on the news about abuse or molestation of children every week, and 50% or more of those reports involved someone at a church. Call me paranoid, but I’m not trying to take those chances with my son. Messing with kids can change the course of their entire lives. And messing with my child would change the course of mine–it’d take a whole lot of prayer to keep me from “putting them paws on em” <–#dontjudgeme, I watch reality TV, lol! But seriously, just say no to pervs who pretend to be saintly and trustworthy who prey on little kids.

2. I want my child to see me worshipping at church. He hears me singing my gospel songs all the time: when I’m trying to push through bad days, when I’m grateful for the life I have, or when I’m just making sure I still have the chops since I don’t use my talent very often. He sees me praying from time to time. He sees me reading the Bible for myself (although it’s usually online so he probably won’t actually identify what my physical Bible looks like… hmmm maybe I should pull it out sometimes as he gets older). And I read him Bible stories. I want him to see all of it because I’m his primary example.

3. Frederick needs to learn how to behave in different scenarios, and in church is one of them. He needs to see when it’s inappropriate to talk (how many adults do you know have side convos in the middle of the sermon? Precisely.), that he needs to be able to be still for a time period, and all the other things that come along with being at church or any other program where there are certain expectations. The only way to learn is to practice.

4. I hadn’t thought of it before reading this blog post about church nurseries, but the germs… I know Frederick is exposed to some at his primary childcare facility by virtue of just being around other people, but at least I know the procedures and precautions taken there.

So I’ll be writing a letter per my mom’s advice, and including this passage:

Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence. Matthew 19:13-15

Gerber Baby

Gerber Baby

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

So I always said I wouldn’t be one of those moms, but I totally am. My little hunny bunny is such a cutie, and I can’t help myself from sharing pictures most days. So I entered him in the Gerber Generation Photo Search. Please vote for my baby!! Everyday starting today and ending September 24. If he wins the scholarship, we’ll love you for life. 🙂

Life is good.

Life is good.

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

I’m in a really upbeat mood. Despite the fact that it’s the end of the month and my money is dwindling. Despite the fact that there’s one person who has a hopefully not permanent spot nagging the back of my brain. My mood is because I am so blessed that I simply can’t give more than a few seconds of thought at a time to what’s not awesome. In the last couple of weeks alone, I’ve gotten reassurance and encouragement from my mom, pastor, and friends. I’ve had friends give Frederick clothes, more and more books, and a box of diapers, treat me to dinner, help me with my baby scrapbook, and spend time chilling with me and the munchkin (giving me some adult time!). There was even an older sorority sister, who remembers me from college when she was a middle school teacher who helped me and my committee for a couple of years host science fairs, who called me out of the blue (or should I say out of the pink? 🙂 ) to check on me and get my address so she could send me a little something for Frederick. I hadn’t talked to her in YEARS, but she still has fond memories of me and was happy for me when she heard I’d had a little one.

I wake up every morning to a little boy who grins every time I kiss him. Smokie is still my sweet (and spoiled) honey baby who is getting used to sharing his attention with a manchild. My job has been the best at helping me transition back to work, and I haven’t had any problems tending to my mom stuff, like pumping. My son is with someone I know all day so I feel confident he’s ok. I have tons of pictures and videos to look at when I’m missing him. And the highlight of my day is seeing his face when he recognizes me when I pick him up in the evenings. We read books, have fun bath times, and he’s been going to sleep without fussing when I put him down at the end of the day. I have a groove in the evenings and a semi-groove when I start over again each morning. I’m eating well, and I’m even starting to enjoy cooking like I did years ago.

Truly, I am blessed. More and more, I believe it when people tell me I’m doing a great job as a new mommy. More and more, I know and can trust that the Lord is Jehovah Jireh and will provide even when I can’t see how. And more and more, I am able to be positive for others when they need it. I can’t adequately express how grateful I am to those who “loved me back to awesome” when feeling like crud was a normal part of my routine, and I am equally grateful to be able to return the favor and even pay it forward.

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Ok enough gushing–here’s some seriousness:

–Praying for safety for all who are dealing with Hurricane Isaac

–If you aren’t registered to vote, please do so. The deadline here in GA is October 9 to be able to vote on November 6. If you are registered, make sure you have the proper ID and know where your poll is.

Happy Wednesday, folks! Let’s get over the hump!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

by Ranada ♥ 3 Comments

Amazingly, I currently weigh less than I did before my pregnancy. In an attempt to keep my slimmed down body while toning, I have started going to water aerobics, which I really really enjoy. Since I don’t know how to swim (no not because of my hair), I never fell in love with water the way I’ve seen in others, so I was really surprised at just how much I really like going to this fitness class. The time flies by, and even though I didn’t tire myself out in the pool, I can totally feel all that I’ve done once I get out.

Anywho, that’s actually not really the topic of this post. Music is! This past Saturday, during our class, which featured lots of oldies I sang along to while trying to keep up with a teacher many years older than I, this song came on. Although it was Stevie crooning on the mixtape, I was transported back to my childhood and my love of California Raisins. 🙂

I naturally have added it to the list of songs I sing to my baby at bath time, lol. Another flashback that I sing to my honey darling is this.

And then the other night I had my iTunes on random, and this one came on.

Last but not least, ever since he first started opening his eyes (for the first couple of weeks, my baby would only peek and we couldn’t really see what his eyes looked like), I always think of this song and most of the time I start singing it, lol (just a couple of bars since it’s not a “happy” song).

As you can see, this little guy has me wrapped around his little sweet fingers. 🙂 And daydreaming about him at work sometimes makes me daydream about my own childhood and special moments with my parents.  So here’s a record my daddy used to play for me all the time!

Back to My New Reality

Back to My New Reality

by Ranada ♥ 3 Comments

Wednesday, I wrote this long post updating you readers to my progress on my goals. Well, I lost it thanks to the stupid WordPress new post page that doesn’t autosave, so I learned a lesson–never write a post there. Go through my dashboard no matter what, where I can see “Draft saved at 2:07:38 pm.” without even moving my eyes.

The nonbeliever of coincidences, though, I decided that something about that post wasn’t supposed to be seen by the masses. I don’t know what. But no worries because today, I’m starting with a fresh slate, and I’m not going to try to rewrite that long juicy post I wrote Wednesday. 🙂 That being said, here goes!

Frederick on his first day of daycare. His smiles make my heart flutter!

My little family and I made it through our first week of a “new reality.” Frederick started daycare Monday, and I started work Wednesday. And Smokie is just dealing with whatever comes his way. I must say, although I felt a slight tinge of guilt every time I dropped him off and at least once through the day, and although I’ve never been a huge fan of routine, this new reality seems like it will do wonders for all three of us. Except for last night, Frederick sleeps soundly through the night except the two times he needs to eat. And actually twice this week, he only got up once to eat. So even though I could stand an eensy weensy bit more sleep, I definitely can’t complain because I got more sleep this past week than ever before (at night). I also had a good week of pumping milk–now I just have to make sure I don’t make the common mistake of not staying in routine this weekend and messing with my supply! Also, Im getting the hang of being productive in my home. Gasp! I’m not quite at doing a load of laundry every day, but I don’t have clothes spilling out of hampers like before when I was washing clothes when I was getting low on underwear, lol. It’ll be even better when I get over my dislike of folding clothes. 🙂 I have my morning and night routines almost downpat. After I pick up Frederick in the evenings, I cook or heat up leftovers, clean the kitchen (which includes first washing all of Frederick’s bottles of the day and then whatever dishes I used when I cooked and ate), get my lunch ready for the next day, get Frederick’s bottles ready for the next day, give him a bath, take my own bath (which includes my newest face and hair routines), iron our clothes (gasp!! I’m sure my dad would hesitate to believe this one!), feed him, and lay him down. Now, the order in which I do all of that depends on my baby and his sleepiness and/or fretfulness, but so far routine has been my friend. [Note: I also read to him if he’s awake long enough, and I always sing to him in the tub and whenever elsethe mood hits me!]

Mommy’s first day back at work
It’s finally Friday! Home after a full week. We made it!

I have learned so much about myself and my capacity to cope and move forward since I had my baby (and especially since my mom left us in Atlanta to get back to her reality). My baby really is an amazing miracle from above, and he has made all the difference in my life. I can’t focus too long on what I don’t like or have when I can just look at him and know that I’m blessed to have him. And although I know being a mom isn’t easy, I also know that God will provide for my son. After a long, tough pregnancy, I’m ready for this new journey. I look forward to seeing Frederick come into his personality even more, to seeing him and helping him learn, to waking up to his smiles (and mean mugs), to kissing him before he goes to sleep at night, to exposing him to the great things this world has to offer. I don’t look forward to not being able to shield him from all of life’s hurts and pains, but I do look forward in joining my mom in more of the experiences of motherhood.

And because music is one of my emotional outlets, here are some tunes for ya.

As soon as I stop worrying
Worrying how the story ends
I let go and I let God
Let God have His way
That’s when things start happening
I’ll stop looking at back then
I let go and I’ll let God have His way

One week down, a lifetime to go! Happy Friday!

Postpartum Musings

Postpartum Musings

by Ranada ♥ 11 Comments

Coming home to Mississippi is the best thing I could have done while recovering from having my baby. I really don’t know how I would have made it the past several weeks without my mom’s love and support. And being home just reconnects me to who I am at a critical time when some days it’s hard for me to see goodness in my life and makes me appreciate and savor the days when all I see is goodness.

Since a week or two before having my baby, I have experienced what it feels like to sit down, lol. First, because I was forced to healthwise, and now because of the old school notion that a mom needs to stay inside as much as possible during the first six weeks. At first it was super easy because I was still in lots of pain, but as the pain wears off and I only have short time periods of ailments, it’s still not so hard because being able to sit down and think through things is sometimes welcomed (and other times, I think myself into negativity, so not so good!). And of course, there’s just nothing like being around people who have known and loved you for as long as you can remember and who remind you what’s important in life and how we;ve already overcome so much and will continue to. Here, I can lay some of my burdens down and get myself together before I face the real world again.

And when I do enter the real world again, I have some things I need to change. I’m no longer a single gal doing whatever she wants when she wants. There are several things I need to get done to reorganize my life now that I’m a mom. Here are some highlights.

1. Getting my finances in order. Before I dropped out of my Ph.D. program in 2005, my financial health was pretty much pristine. Then I dropped out, forfeiting the grants I was receiving, leaving me with one part time job to choose which ends to meet. Although I haven’t been doing shabby nowadays, I’m definitely not where I should be to make sure this lil guy is comfortable and well taken care of. So, I’ve logged on to Mint, which I’ve used before but kinda ignored for the last couple of years to retrack my accounts, started on a new budget, and set some goals. I also renewed my LearnVest subscriptions. Now I just need to finish my budget (which includes the new massive childcare expense–I never knew how much it cost!), make sure my different forms of insurance are sufficient and in order, start an actual tax file folder so that I won’t be scrambling next year, and finally look into modifying my mortgage since I took such a hit in value like so many others in this nation (and especially in GA).

2.  Getting my eating habits back on track. There was a time that I was pretty healthy and cooked many meals from scratch (I was a size 4 then). Now that I have this guy, I not only need to eat much better than the routine I had for a while–skipping breakfast many days, eating not so healthy snacks for lunch, eating maybe one real meal a day, which would prolly be from a restaurant on the go–but I also need to make sure it fits within the budget I’m creating in #1. I definitely will have to cut out the eating out so much, just by virtue of budgeting and prolly time management, but I’m much more in tune with what I put in my body since it then goes into his. And I want to go ahead and get reacquainted with cooking regularly again since I will need to be in the habit once he’s eating solid foods. I’ve been collecting recipes (from countless books, websites, and blogs), and I’ve gotten an account on Food on the Table to help me take advantage of deals when I’m creating weekly meal plans (that I pray I stick to).

3. Making my schedule less hectic. I have to let go of some things so that I can have time to myself. Before I had Frederick, I may have gotten up 30 minutes before I needed to leave for work and I may have stayed awake until midnight or 1 am. Now I need to get up much earlier, and I hopefully will, in turn, go to bed much earlier. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to streamline things that aren’t work or taking care of Frederick, but we’ll see. I mean at the end of the day, my home life has now become #1 so anything I can’t get done will just have to wait or disappear. Right now, there’s no new resource for that besides me taking an inner oath to put everything (i.e. appointments, meetings, deadlines) on my Google docs and set a reminder!

4. Making my house a home. Now that I have a baby, I will actually be spending quality time at home. So I have to include in this new schedule of mine time to do a little bit of cleaning each day, including washing dishes and *gasp* doing at least one load of laundry daily. Getting my house to where it is (although I still have a ways to go before I’m proud of it) was overwhelming so I definitely have to keep that up as well as inch toward making it a place where I find peace of mind each day. Watching my mom since the week before I gave birth has been a lesson because it’s amazing how much she gets done each day.

5. Working on my pretty. My mom told me the week after I had Frederick that I have to work on getting my pretty back asap, and she’s right. Weight wise, I didn’t have any to lose (I gained a net of 10 pounds, and he weighed over 8.5), but I definitely need to tone up and work on my skin quality (in the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy I got stretch marks! and since I delivered, my tummy is discolored!) and I wouldn’t mind losing a couple more that was on my to do list before I even got pregnant. I also need to make myself get on a schedule with my hair (instead of waiting until I can’t stand to look at it anymore to do something to it) and go through my full regimen each day instead of going all day if I’m not going anywhere or just running errands looking busted (or my version of busted–I think I can still find a little solace in knowing my busted looks a little better than some people’s best but that’s neither here nor there–we’re talking about self-improvement here) or not fully put together. As my mom says, “There’s nothing like a pretty mama with a pretty baby.” 🙂 And with this also comes inner pretty. I’ve had some good and bad days mentally and emotionally, and I have to try my best to make an effort each day to do what I have to for good days. Learning to forgive, ignore, and focus on the positive isn’t as easy as it can sound, but I have to do what I can to make sure my full person is pretty.

So those are my new goals for the next few weeks. I may even throw in writing a few pages of the book my mom and I started years ago and set aside. But we’ll see. That’s the busy body, gotta pack my day Ranada trying to push through. Being home has taught me to enjoy time, so I need to make sure I incorporate that going forward even when I get back to the A.