I had several things in mind to feature today, but this special day was on my heart, so here goes. 🙂
I want to explain why 10-10-10 is an important day to me. Y’all may think I’m crazy, but you wouldn’t be the first, lol.
If you didn’t know by now, I love numbers. I love what they represent, I love what you can do with them, I love that they are simple yet so complex. So what does 10 mean? Biblically, it means divine perfection or completion. But just numerically, it marks the end of a cycle–our decades and centuries are built on the number 10. While it’s the end, it’s also the beginning–the first 2-digit number.
So enough of the math geek stuff, lol. Let’s talk some Bible highlights. Of course you know there are ten commandments and that tithes are 10%. But did you know:
There are ten clauses in the Lord’s Prayer,
Abraham endured ten trials to prove his faith,
Israel was represented by ten virgins,
There are ten I AM’s in the Book of John,
There are ten parables about the Kingdom,
There were ten righteous people found in Sodom and Gomorrah,
There were ten plagues,
Fire came down from heaven ten times, and
It is after the tenth recorded Passover that Jesus is crucified, the perfect sacrifice to save us.
And that’s not even almost the extent of “ten” in the Bible. And I won’t even get into the fact that there are 3 10‘s involved. Three represents divine perfection as well. But I’m dedicating this one to 10. 🙂
After I realized I would not be getting married in a storybook tale right after graduate school (I never wanted to get married right after undergrad), I started hoping that I would get married on 10-10-10. Such a symbolic way to start a union, yanno. Clearly, that’s not happening Sunday, lol (oh yeah, and I don’t think it a coincidence that 10-10-10 landed on the Sabbath).
But y’all know me, I do plan to make myself feel special on the day. It’ll be a great time to start a new topic of personal study, and I will start back on my hot yoga regimen, which I’ve been neglecting lately. I also will go see this production, which will likely be a Feature one of these ole days.
But most of all, even though I may not be becoming one with anyone right now, that’s ok because I am celebrating the fact that I am living happily ever after anyway. I’m about to embark on the first volunteer trip I’ve ever organized myself, and there are so many other things I have my hands in. I can make myself feel special–and sometimes I forget that. I want to take the day to remind myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)–I’m perfectly imperfect, and everything will work together for good as long as I’m walking my purpose. Because that’s how God designed it. Just like He designed the number system and its involvement in all the symbolism and nature patterns and so much other stuff we don’t even always notice.
What, if anything, are you doing Sunday? 🙂 Happy Friday, lovelies!
Ok, ok, ok, stop shaking your heads, ok? Please, just for a second. Yes, I know you may have been expecting something a little deeper than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, but this is what made my eyes sparkle today, despite my effort to feature something a little more learned. But I’m a well-rounded person, yanno? *grinning*
I got the link on Twitter yesterday, but I didn’t watch it till today. What a birthday present this will be indeed. 🙂 Also, the first installment of this movie will get me a little bit closer to reading the last book of the series. (I try to watch the movie before I read the book, if I haven’t already read the book before I know it is being adapted to the movie–it’s just way better in that order. I can explain later.)
I’m including both trailers that have been released so far. Aren’t you excited too?
I found out today that someone I knew in college passed away. It reminded me, yet again, that life is short and not promised. So the natural next thought in my ongoing stream of consciousness is wondering if I’m doing what’s meant for me. Do I have the right people around me? Am I taking the risks I need to take to succeed or those I need to take to be happy? Am I leaving the mark I want to leave on this earth?
I think so. I’m in a place of unbelievable possibility, intentional activity, and high expectations for awesomeness. I’m somewhat content with where I am, while taking deliberate steps to continue growing and moving forward. How bout you? Are you living today and not just planning to live tomorrow?
If not, start right now. Tomorrow might never become today.
So last night I posted a Miki Howard video just because that’s what I was listening to, but overnight it grew into a full-fledged blog post. Saturday, I saw this and it struck something inside me.
Of course, it wasn’t new to me. But reading it at that moment just sparked something that I guess finally came to a head when I listened to Miki crooning last night.
I’m definitely not a relationship expert, but I have learned some things over my few lil years in this world. Love, of all types, is one of those topics that covers so much that it’s hard to talk about. I mean, really… what is love?
My fave thing to say about love, though, is that it’s not just a noun–it’s a verb. To have love for people is to show love for people. If it’s love for the community, you need to be doing something for the community. If it’s love for your family, you need to be contributing something to their health and well-being. (And currently, I’m thinking of my mother and her love for my grandfather, which is a whole other post about the highs and lows of caring for the elderly.) If it’s a romantic love, it’s not enough to be woo-woo’ing in someone’s ear about how much you heart them–those are sweet little nothings until some actions are aligned.
One thing I’ve had to learn is that I have to be choosy (had to do that one for Aaliyah, R.I.P.) about who I dedicate my energy, my time, my patience, my love to. All that is so simply yet eloquently written in 1 Corinthians goes both ways. My love needs to be all those things, but I also have to remember that I deserve all those things. And if I’m not receiving that, I should love myself more and walk away. I mean really, we spend so much of our lives pouring ourselves into other people, not always taking the time to really evaluate if we’re giving out the right type of love to right people. And then we wonder why we’re so drained and bitter. What we’re pouring out, we should be getting back some kinda way. Love isn’t a finite thing with a usage limit. There’s plenty to go around and it multiplies when it’s shared. You don’t have to be a martyr for love. Give some, and make sureyou’re getting some.
So when someone comes around, whether a new friend or a new romantic interest, and is really positive and invested and caring, you have to be appreciative to the One above for placing that source of energy into your life. You can be thankful for the chance to give some of that patient, unselfish, hopeful love AND for the chance to recognize and receive it. So, sang it, Miki.
Experience is a good teacher
It takes someone like me to know
All the little games people tend to play
Some call it love: It never has a chance to grow
…
The closed sign on my door, I had to tear it down
A new world of happiness turned me completely around
I know, I know, you’re thinking, “She’s trippin! She hasn’t written aaaaaaall week.” Well, I know I am. I’m coming. Just waiting for the inspiration to hit me. You know the saying — “write because you have something to say, not because you want to say something.” But I feel an urge coming on, so hang tight. 🙂
Until then, here’s a very awesome quote. Happy Friday, all!
I believe in pink.I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.I believe in kissing… kissing a lot.I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day.And I believe in miracles.
Today, I read this post, which was a result of a blogger stumbling across this list. Every leader should know how to be a good follower, right? Well, I’m following suit and sharing what I’ve done in this list (by bold type). To all you single gals (and guys) out there, how much of this list have you conquered? **I think it’s important to note that at some point, you have to consciously enjoy/bask in/take advantage of being single. Time and place for everything. Don’t look back one day and wish you had seen the benefits of being single.** Now that that is said, do you think anything is missing from this list?
36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down
**To Build Your Confidence**
1. Go to a movie alone. [I am a movie fanatic. I’ll probably always do this from time to time!]
2. Lift weights. [Now ask me when the last time I lifted weights was, and you may think I need to unbold this one.]
3. Try surfing, water-skiing, orsome activity you don’t already know how to do. Could be riding a bicycle. [Wouldn’t everyone logically be able to bold this one? I mean, the first time you did any activity, you didn’t know what you were doing yet, right?]
4. Take out the trash, set a mousetrap, do your taxes, build a bookcase. [I’m good on the mousetrap…]
5. Live alone, or at least move apartments in NYC without the help of family.
6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon. [Does playing coed softball count?]
7. Go to a scary doctor’s appointment by yourself. [I’ve done this, and it was because I was too proud to ask someone to come with me and hold my hand. Luckily, one of my friends had the graciousness to surprise me and be there when I got back to the lobby leaking tears. I wouldn’t recommend anyone doing this just for the sake of it. There’s nothing wrong with single folk asking their friends or family for support.]
8. Quit your job.
9. Fly to a foreign country by yourself. [I wasn’t by myself technically, but I was with a group of people I didn’t know, so I’m counting this one.]
10. Learn to stand up for yourself.
**To Be Able to Look Back and Say “I Had Fun”**
11. Witness something once-in-a-lifetime, like Jokulsarlon, a lake next to a melting glacier in Iceland. [errr… I mean, I don’t really remember so I’ll go with no?]
12. Revel in being able to watch all the TV you want.
13. Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for santas, or similar. [I’ve never gotten drunk in the daytime, but how ladylike is that? I’ve had drinks during the day, though.]
14. Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous. [:)]
15. Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.
16. Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.
**To Get Perspective**
17. Be a good wingwoman. It’s not always about you.
18. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows “alone”! [Since my grandfather passed last year, this one isn’t so lighthearted for me as it comes across in the wording. Don’t know how I feel about this one, but yes, I’ve spent quality time with her since then.]
19. Volunteer. [Y’all know I do plenty of this. But lemme tell you why I think giving your time to someone who needs it is a huge one. It’s good for you and your soul, and it’s good practice in sacrifice (which I hear is, in moderation, necessary for healthy, long-lasting relationship).]
**To Make You Appreciate the Next Guy**
20. Do at least one Valentine’s Day alone. […I mean, ok. I can’t say this was necessarily on purpose, but I’m pretty comfortable with giving myself, my family, and my friends love on Love Day.]
21. Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.
22. Date the creeps. You’ll really value the nice guys afterward. [This was not by choice though. Again, wouldn’t recommend anyone do this on purpose… C’mon now.]
**To Make You Feel Sexy and Attractive**
23. Buy yourself some flowers.
24. Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.
25. Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. Cool. [I have a sneaking suspicion that I have done this. But since I can’t recall a specific time, I’ll leave it.]
26. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.
**To Make the Most of Your Free Time**
27. Finish all your schooling if you can. [I’m bolding this, not because I’m “finished” but because I already have 4 degrees so if I decided I were done, who would question me? I’m not convinced I’m done though. I absolutely love learning.]
28. Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. You may not have time to do this again until you retire and the kids are off to college. [I could write a whole blog post about all the time-consuming stuff I’ve delved into. Anything that’s worth doing probably isn’t all that quick, right?]
**To Make Yourself a Better Partner in the Future**
29. Make a list of all your faults. [I’d like to refer to them as my areas for improvement. I also listed my assets. Focus on positivity.]
30. Learn to cook well. [And bake too.]
31. Get some hobbies. Something’s gotta keep you occupied—plus it’ll make you seem interesting. [Reading, playing softball, going to the movies, crocheting, blogging, etc.]
32. Let your married friends edit your online dating profile. [If I had an online dating profile, I’d probably do this.]
33. Get your finances in order. [This isn’t a concrete thing. They’ve been in order before. Headed back in that direction now.]
**To Appreciate Being Single**
34.Babysit someone’s baby for an hour. [Hey, I have 2 nieces and 7 nephews, so…]
35. Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up.
36. Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other. [I’ve done girls-only nights, days, trips–who doesn’t like hanging with the homies?]
**Things not on this list but on Nada Dee’s list**
37. Road-trip alone. I think this is a true test of how comfy you are with yourself. I’ve taken myself places just because I wanted to be unencumbered by anyone else’s schedules, timelines, and desires. Great way to sort out thoughts too.
38. Maintain a roster. I know several people who believe that once they meet someone, they must devote all their time and attention to that person, even before any semblance of a conversation about exclusivity occurs. To each her own, but as my mom told me as a youngin learning the dating ropes, until you’re married, you’re single. So without established boundaries, I never assumed that I should behave like I’m in a committed relationship. Have some fun, meet new people, enjoy getting to know them, and really make an educated decision about who you want to pursue something deeper with.
39. Create a vision board. Where are you going in life? What do you want? Can you really merge your life with someone else’s if you don’t really know the value of yours? Sit down, write down all your dreams and short-term and long-term goals, then make it plain by creating a board that you can hang up and look at regularly, reminding you of what you need to be working on to achieve your heart’s desires.
40. Romance yourself. I dunno what your idea of romance is, but whatever it is, do it for yourself. Go get a massage, make yourself bubble baths, light candles during a self-prepared dinner, sleep in something that makes you feel good about yourself, etc.
What else should singles do before they settle down? Any other ideas?
Today (well yesterday, now), I was a featured guest on HBCU Digest Radio. I was interviewed about my perspective as an alumni chapter president on alumni involvement. You can listen to the archived show here.
I was nervous as ever, which is funny because as soon as I got off the phone, I had plenty more to say. It’s amazing. I loved it though. Maybe I’ll do it again soon.
Please support HBCU Digest and support your alma mater, no matter where you attended. As I stated during the show, our institutions are community assets and need our support, financial and physical. We all have something to contribute, and we have a responsibility to keep our resources sustained and healthy for the next generation.
Remember:
Every dollar counts. Even if you can’t give $1,000 a year, give what you can. Each alum that gives increases the alumni giving rate, which better enables schools to solicit external donations. If the direct stakeholders of the school don’t support, why should anyone else?
Let go of the old negativity. If you earned a degree from your school, it couldn’t have been all bad. If you stayed there for 4+ years, surely you have more positive memories than negative. (And how much do I have to preach on here that we have to redirect our focus to the good stuff!?) Plus, your degree helped you to move forward with your life, so give back!
Physical support is much needed as well! Help your local chapter to organize an event, support an activity, assist in student recruitment. We are all walking ambassadors for our schools. Let people know who you represent!
I could talk about alumni involvement all night, but I’ll spare you. Besides, at 1 am, I should be trying to get some zzz’s. Later, y’all!
I published this on 6/6/2007. Hope it speaks to someone today.
“All the things I had toiled for… I must leave… to the one who comes after me.” Ecclesiastes 2:18 NIV
Max Lucado writes: “A little boy is on the beach. He packs the sand with plastic shovels into a bright red bucket. Then he upends the bucket, and a sandcastle is created.
“A man is in the office. He shoves papers into stacks and delegates assignments. Numbers are juggled, contracts are signed, and a profit is made.
“Two builders–two castles. They see nothing and make something. And for both the tide will rise, and the end will come. Yet that’s where the similarities cease. For the boy sees the end while the man ignores it. Watch the boy as dusk approaches. As the waves near, the wise child begins to clap. There is no sorrow. No fear. No regret. He knew this would happen. He is not surprised. And when the great breaker finally crashes upon his castle and his masterpiece is sucked into the sea, he smiles, picks up his tools, takes his father’s hand and goes home. The grown-up, however, is not so wise. As the wave of years collapses on his castle, he is terrified. He hovers over the sandy monument he protected. He blocks the waves from the walls he has made. Salt-water soaked and shivering, he scowls at the incoming tide. ‘It’s my castle,’ he defies. The ocean need not resond. Both know to whom the sand belongs… and I don’t know much about sandcastles. But children do. Watch them and learn. Go ahead and build, but build with a child’s heart. When the sun sets and the tides take–applaud. Salute the process of life, then take your Father’s hand and go home.”
What He said to me:
1.It’s so funny how the Lord speaks to me sometimes. I would have thought he would use something like this to talk about my goals and career dreams, but for me, it was all about my dreams of having my own family one day. Crazy, huh? One thing I do when I’ve experienced pain is close myself off for long periods of time, scared to try again. But oh my, I can’t do that. I have to go ahead and build relationships with the people (men and women) the Lord puts in my path, and I have to be ready for tide. And if a tide comes, I need to appreciate all the good times and the lessons learned and let go and say bye. There’s always a war going on inside me as far as relationships go. I KNOW the Lord puts people in my path sometimes to teach me something in particular and sometimes I’m supposed to teach them something or get them through or lead them to some situation. But that doesn’t mean I like it that way. I’m such an extreme person, and I don’t know (it’s something I pray about) if that’s something I need to work on not being. When I think something–a relationship, a project, whatever–is worth it, I throw myself into it. I guess that could be a good thing if I just learned how to manage saying bye at the end.
So just like with the message last night–I need to help people achieve their dreams as I’m on the road to achieving mine. And I need to stay connected to God so that I will be able to get ready for tides. Especially with my hardheaded butt. I think half the reason I experience pain like I do is that I get so head- or heart-strong and I won’t let go when it’s time so the Lord has to eject them. But the Lord knows my dreams, especially that one, and he’ll give me what I want and need in his time, which is the perfect time.
<<::update::7/28/2010::>> So when I read the allegory this time, 3 years later, I did think about my career and where I’m headed. I wonder about the revolution that I start in my dreams–will I ever fulfill all my dreams? Will I actually make a substantial impact on the black community? Lucky me, I know I will trust my instinct when I’m led to make my next moves. I still wonder if as I get older, will I ever be like the man, holding on to something that’s out of my reach and out of my control. And of course, I read my response from 2007, and funny how we grow over time. I still don’t give any ole Joe Blow a chance, but I step out there and try, even knowing that if it doesn’t work out my poor lil feelings may be pummeled. Right now, I’m in limbo, and not really trying but I’m not not trying either. I’m just being. And I’m cool with that. 🙂
2. I was led to share this with a bunch of people. Some I talk to regularly, some I never talk to, some I don’t want to talk to, some I probably need to talk to in order to resolve something even if I don’t know what the something is, some that an issue has recently been “resolved” but I haven’t necessarily strived to rebuild, and some who I guess maybe just needed to read this? I dunno. But as each person popped in my head, I entered their address. Who knows what kinda responses I get? I’ll definitely have to stay prayed up before I respond to anything that I get. Heck, I may not get anything. 🙂 And that would be cool too!
<<::update::7/28/2010::>> I guess this still applies because when I read this post, my first thought was to share!
And just because the name has “Sandcastle” in it and because I like this song, I’m including a lil music!
Although sometimes I’m all over the place so it may not seem like it, I love order. So before I can really get going on the events of this past weekend, I must revisit Raisin’ Cane.
Like I said before, the production was phenomenal. Here are some quotes and works that pierced me. I think today, I’ll highlight the womenfolk.
I WANT to die while you love me,
While yet you hold me fair,
While laughter lies upon my lips
And lights are in my hair.
I want to die while you love me,
And bear to that still bed,
Your kisses turbulent, unspent
To warm me when I’m dead.
I want to die while you love me
Oh, who would care to live
Till love has nothing more to ask
And nothing more to give!
I want to die while you love me
And never, never see
The glory of this perfect day
Grow dim or cease to be.
Isn’t that beautiful? I’m usually not even a poetry kinda girl, but that poem captured my ears during the performance.
Who’s ever heard of Pig Foot Mary? Well, I hadn’t either, but now I’ve read about her, and she’s someone to look up to. Hailing from the Mississippi Delta, Lillian Dean Harris moved to New York City and went from peddling boiled pigs’ feet out of a torn up baby carriage (yes, I’m from MS, but no, I do not and never have eaten pigs’ feet–they look mucho gross, but yay for Lillian!) to being able to retire with hundreds of thousands of dollars in Cali. After cultivating her business of providing Southern food to the many transplants in Harlem (and anyone else who wanted some), she invested her money in real estate. Now how’s that for girl power?
Panel 1 of Migration of the Negro by Jacob Lawrence
Finally, before I go, I’ll share a Zora Neale Hurston quote that makes me chuckle (and reminds me of something I might say jokingly but not really):
Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.
By the way, if you haven’t voted today, what are you waiting for? Tootles, my dears.
This is what weekends are made of. I’ve been on a cultural excursion all weekend! I’ll be back later to talk about them all, but here’s a taste.
It’s National Black Arts Festival week, and I took part of some awesome offerings. Friday, I attended the screening of Soundtrack of a Revolution, which is a documentary that highlights how music played such an important role in the Civil Rights Movement. Here’s a trailer.
After that, I rushed over to the Symphony Hall to see the To Curtis with Love tribute concert for Curtis Mayfield. My favorite Curtis Mayfield song, “Makings of You” was performed by Dionne Farris. My favorite undergroundish artists, Joi and Van Hunt, were there, along with Frank McComb, the Impressions, and Eddie Levert. It was a great time.
Yesterday, I went to see The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which I really enjoyed. Then I went back to the Rialto to view 41st and Central: The Untold Story of the L.A. Black Panthers. Man, it was really a wonderful, captivating documentary. I have always admired certain aspects of the Black Panther Party for Self-Defense, and I’ve looked up to some of its leaders, but I never even knew about Bunchy Carter, who was a really impressive man. The documentary took us from the beginnings of the Southern Cali chapter of the Black Panthers to the disbanding of it. Here’s the trailer.
After the documentary, I was able to listen to a panel discussion featuring Chuck D, Kathleen Cleaver, Wayne Pharr, the producers of the documentary, and a couple of US organization representatives. My favorite quotes of the night were from Chuck D:
“If you don’t identify your enemy, how the hell are you gonna fight?”
“Racism comes out every year like a new model car. We have to recognize it and know how to respond.”
So much more to read, research, and consider. I’m so happy I was able to participate in this event. My favorite quote in the documentary was
“If you want to be a revolutionary, you have to study revolution.”
Today (and on Thursday as well), I am volunteering for I Dream, a musical production about the life and works of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
As the weekend comes to a close, I appreciate all the mind-expanding, thought-provoking activities I have access to. Didn’t I just say the other day how awesome my life is? Happy Sunday, people.
Real Middle School Mom of Atlanta 