I found this poem here. It made me smile.
Well, it’s Black History Month and I’ve not shared ANY black history facts. So… here are a couple.
Seventy years ago, Smokey Robinson (yes, my pup Smokie is named after this legend) was born in Detroit, Michigan. William “Smokey” Robinson is a world class singer and songwriter. Smokey is one reason I (and many many others) have a profound love for music. I have fond memories of singing and dancing with my daddy to Smokey (and the Miracles) records. Here are a couple of my faves.
Look how smooth Smokey was. Hubba hubba! This next one’s the full length video. This is a classic. The song actually starts around the 3 min mark.
Also, on this day in 1992, John Singleton became the first black director to be nominated for an Academy Award and the youngest director to be nominated for Best Director. He was nominated for Best Director and for Best Original Screenplay for Boyz N the Hood. Many of us consider this movie a classic, and here’s the trailer.
Hope you enjoyed those! I’ll try to remember to do a couple more before the month is over! Happy Friday!
I read this commentary this morning, and it really hit home.
That said, what happens after you meet and then are forced to end it with someone whose smile makes you warm inside, who you don’t mind using the bathroom in front of, whose dreams become yours?
At first, I was thinking yada yada yada, here we go again with the plight of the black educated woman. Until I read the above quote–then my brain woke up to see the author was talking about something I’m way more interested in–perspective on love.
I’ve been in love. In fact, I think I’m in love with being in love. I love how I feel when I get a new crush, and I especially love how requited love feels and how having it affects me. But what’s funny is, I’m a really cynical person, and it takes me awhile to fall. But boy, when I do… lol! I look forward to that connection. What keeps me sane and hopeful, I think, is my openness to love and the possibilities.
But it took me awhile to get to this place. My last love didn’t work out. And I had to learn that just because he was a great love, it’s not for me to decide that he was my greatEST love. That experience showed me that despite my cynicism, my wariness, my busyness, and my plight as an educated black woman (heehee), that I have a HUGE and dynamic capacity to love. And to love despite odds and obstacles. Before I came to that realization (that I’m not the maker and I have no idea what’s in store for my life), I hadn’t realized that I was one of these people:
Also, many people have already experienced love and have given it a face, scent and voice.
Love isn’t that cookie cutter! Just because love happened one way with someone doesn’t mean it’s gonna look or feel exactly like that every single time. Love, just as life, is unpredictable! You never know when you may turn the corner, trip, and be caught by a Prince Naveen. And he may not be what you were looking for, but be everything you were looking for, all wrapped into one package. And you’ll see it if you’re open to it. [NOTE – I am NOT saying to give every Joe Blow a chance. Please have standards, lol. I’m just saying sometimes we overlook people because of stuff that’s not even on our list of important stuff about a mate or because we’re being beyond cynical.] Like, Musiq said:
What would it take to be in a love I know that’s right for me?
And I know that you don’t even know me yet, but I believe that one day I’ll be where you are…
The point is, I, like the blogger, “believe the purpose of that relationship was to introduce me to love’s potential.” All I’m saying is… be open. Be open to life’s possibilities. Know that God thinks and is way bigger than you ever could or will be. The experiences we encounter in life are a part of His master plan. We should learn from them, grow from those lessons, and look forward to the situations in which we will be able to use those lessons. And don’t be scared of loving just because you can’t see the future. Even if it doesn’t work out one day, enjoy the positivity and the love lessons now!
Speaking of learning, those failed romances are lessons on loving. You learn about yourself, how you love, and how to love others. So here’s another Musiq song for ya. Head to the sky!
This AJC article made my day. I am a firm believer in spending your money where you pay your taxes. This movie theater is my local theater, and I was really sad at the end of the last year when it closed. I wasn’t even in town to see one more movie! I haven’t been to the movies half as much since its closure–for several reasons, including the fact that the other theater near my house isn’t as reliable (think late starting and unfocused movies).
Beyond that, though, I think this is a newsworthy topic because as soon as I posted the article on Facebook, I got comments about how hood this theater and the mall are. Well… Part of the reason they’re “hood” is because they’ve been abandoned by the very people who would make a difference. I have neighbors who will drive 20 minutes to a crowded theater in a neighborhood they will never live in to not be around “the element” just to find those folks in “the element” who actually have cars met them there.
Now, I’m no fool. I know not to go to Greenbriar on the opening night of a Madea movie. Wait–I don’t go see Madea movies anywhere on opening night (I probably won’t see them in a theater at any time–just not my thing). I haven’t seen the excessive dirtiness people cite when talking about this theater. And I’m a movie LOVER so I have been to some theaters in my day. The workers are polite (and probably will always be because I’m a regular and I’m always polite too), and I see them cleaning after each movie like I do in other theaters. I’ve been to this theater at all times of day and into the night. With friends and by myself (yes, I love movies that much). I’ve never been mugged. I’ve never heard gunshots. I’ve never felt concerned for my safety. In fact, there have been times that workers or security guards make a point, without being asked, to watch me to my car if I’m unescorted.
When people with the resources patronize their neighborhood businesses, then maybe it won’t be such a struggle to keep those businesses open. Greenbriar does not have as many offerings as other malls, but guess why?? Because the demographics of the people shopping there don’t attract the kind of businesses that could actually flourish there if the demographics of the neighborhood were the consideration. But if the folks who live there aren’t going there, then businesses aren’t going to cater to them. In my dreams, Greenbriar would have stores that would bring people to our area and spend their dollars. But we can’t attract others if people would rather go to the Cumberland Macy’s, even if they don’t need to shop anywhere but Macy’s, when there’s a Macy’s down the street. And at risk of people stealing my secrets, my Macy’s is a great one because I can ALWAYS find my size in suits because I don’t have to worry about people in my income demographic going over there to purchase them. (Unfortunately, I have a shoe size that isn’t as easy to find. Poo.)
So! Am I ashamed of being happy and excited that Greenbriar has new investors and my theater is reopening? NO! Am I happy yet another beauty supply store is being opened? No, but that’s a part of the reality. I hope people will start patronizing the businesses in their neighborhood so that the businesses desired will have a reason to be there. The proverbial “element” is in control when “the element” is the only group vested in or supporting area businesses. Kinda like the Census (in which I hope all of you will participate)–you gotta be counted to count.
It’s Love Day, and I pray each of you has a wonderful day, using this day as one more day to tell your loved ones (family, friends, and flames) you care AND to look in the mirror and love yourself.
Now, I’ve heard all the banter about how Valentines Day is a commercial holiday, we shouldn’t celebrate, we should tell people we love them everyday, blahblahblah…. BUT–in my humble opinion, there’s nothing wrong with spending a special day, dedicated to love, just reinforcing your feelings for those around you (and within you). It’s up to you if you want to spend all your money + some you don’t have. There are tons of creative and cheap ways to make people feel special on Love Day. Even when I don’t have a special someone (besides myself), I still take the time to show my love on this day. And I also take some time to rest and enjoy being in my skin on this day. If you don’t love yourself, whose responsibility is it??
So before I get back to showing love to Smokie (my dog), I’ll leave you with a quote and a download. 🙂
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. -1 John 4:18-20
In the midst of heartbreak and disappointment, it’s hard to move on sometimes. But I submit that if we can keep in our minds and hearts that all that happens is according to His Will and keep misfortunes in the right perspective, we can be fearless in love–romantic, brotherly, etc. We can love, not knowing what the future holds. We can love, not knowing if the recipient will love us back. We can love, even if the recipient doesn’t appreciate us. Enjoy the moment! Don’t spend all your time worrying about what may happen–if it does, you’ll have plenty of time to deal with it. Be in the here and now.
Love is not only a feeling–it’s an action. Love is that commandment that is most important but probably the hardest to keep. Sometimes we don’t even love ourselves like we should! So let’s focus on love today!
For you music lovers out there, visit the Teedra Moses website today–she has a free download today of her new album, Royal Patience. Also, you can get your copy of In Search Of at the Brandon Hines website. Happy Valentines Day!
So, the new topic of the past quarter has been the plight of the unmarried black woman. Yep, I fall in that category, and I do have my own lil analysis of the topic (coming soon). But I think the stories of the unmarried black woman are the most interesting and funniest part of it. So here’s one.
I met a guy (we’re going to call him SlowBaby) last year, and after some months of speaking in passing, he asked for my number. We went out on a date and had a great time. Well, this ninja decided that instead of going out on a second date, he would just send me a morning text msg everyday and cross his fingers that he’d see me during my lunch hour. Sometimes he’d call me and try to stay on the phone all night. And he really thought that would keep my attention. Um… negative! Now, I told him a few times that I’d like to see him outside of my work day and that I was getting bored (which is NOT a good thing when dealing with me, the restless romantic). Still, SlowBaby thought those dern text messages would keep him in the game, saying that he was just going with the flow, that he was really into me, and that he just wanted the feelings to be natural… I told him that going with the flow still required movement.
Finally, the day came when after hanging out with his boys for the evening, he called me at 11:30 trying to roll through. Who did he think I am?? Sir, get outta here with that. Why would allow him to come over to my house at booty call hours after one date and a barrage of “Good morning” text messages? Ain’t that much swagger in two words. I ignored him, and when he saw me at lunch the next week, he mentioned that he knew I was awake and just ignoring him. GOOD! And he STILL didn’t set up a 2nd date. Then he tried to come over a couple of weeks after that at 1:00 am!!!! I won’t say what i said. But know that I’ve stopped getting those dangblasted “Good morning” texts.
I dedicate this song to SlowBaby. I hope someone inspires him to sing this one day:
I know I’ve been ghost, but I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Today is Love Day Eve, and I have LOTS on my mind. I hope all you cupids out there are having a great day, even if you’re snowed in!
As expected (because anything can happen happens to me), lots has transpired since my Princess and Frog post, including me becoming a lil Tiana in my own rite. So I have lots of stories to entertain with.
Be back in a jiffy (and I mean it this time),
Nada Dee 🙂