Category: Inner Struggles

MLM: Stagecoach Prayer

MLM: Stagecoach Prayer

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Happy Monday, lovelies!  I had a spectacular weekend, and I’m ready to rumble this week.  Yesterday, I felt the urge to watch a friend’s church online, and just like the old days, the Word was just for me.  The sermon was based on Exodus 13:17-18, and it was about how God wouldn’t lead the Israelites through the shortest path because they wouldn’t have been ready for war with the Palestinians and how God may take us a longer route, but long isn’t wrong.  The sermon conjured up all types of thoughts not only about my life and the path I’m on but also about the black community (but I need to organize those).  Anywho, this Our Daily Bread that I shared on 4/4/07 kinda extends my thought process about the sermon.  About how my path is mine–I need to stay in my lane and work on what I’m meant to work on and what’s meant for me will be mine.  If I swerve into other folks’ lanes, I may shortchange myself. Hope you have a productive week!

Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. —John 14:13

Five-year-old Randy wanted a toy stagecoach for Christmas. While shopping with Mom, he found just the one he wanted. It was about 6″ long and had cool wheels and dark brown plastic horses pulling it. “Mommy, I want this one. Pleeeease!” he begged. As young children sometimes do, he threw a tantrum, insisting that he get that stagecoach for Christmas. Mom said, “We’ll see,” and took him home.

Randy was sure he’d get what he asked for. Christmas morning came, and he opened the package confidently. Sure enough, it was the stagecoach he had begged for. He was so pleased. But then his older brother said, “You really did a dumb thing to insist on gettingthat coach. Mom bought you a much bigger one, but when you begged for that little one, she exchanged it!” Suddenly the small stagecoach didn’t seem so appealing.

Sometimes we’re like that with God. We pray about a specific need and tell Him how He ought to answer. We beg and plead—and God may even give us exactly what we ask for. But He may have had something better in mind.

Phillips Brooks once said, “Pray the largest prayers. You cannot think a prayer so large that God, in answering it, will not wish you had made it larger.” — Anne Cetas

Do not presume to know what’s best
When you begin to pray;
But say to God, “Your will be done,”
Then trust His perfect way. —Sper

Large asking results in large receiving.

5 Reasons God Permits Problems

5 Reasons God Permits Problems

by Ranada ♥ 3 Comments

Tanjala P sent this to a group of friends on 6/7/07. I needed to read it, so maybe it’ll help one of you guys out there.

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you–depending on how YOU respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are five reasons God may have permitted the problems you have experienced in your life:

1. God permits problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God allowing this situation to get your attention?

“Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. ” Proverbs 20:30

2. God permits problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags … if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God tested your faith by allowing a problem or two into your life? What do problems reveal about you?

“When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience.” James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something… health, money, a relationship. ..by losing it.

“It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws.” Psalms 119:71-72

4. God permits problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem-but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management’s actions were eventually discovered.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good”… Genesis 50:20

5. God permits problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you’re going to take with you into eternity.

“We can rejoice when we run into problems…they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.” Romans 5:3-4

** Here’s the point: God is at work in your life-even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it’s much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

MLM – Appreciating the Rain

MLM – Appreciating the Rain

by Ranada ♥ 5 Comments

Well, I’ve been dealing with some personal storms, and this morning, this story came to mind.  I posted this on 8-18-2003, and the story actually occurred in 2001.

On my way to work, I kept having the feeling that I left the stove on. So I turned around, and of course, it was not on. Luckily, I wasn’t late for work, but I hope I’m not becoming obsessive/compulsive. My ma says it’s probably just that I am growing up and realizing that I no longer have anyone to check behind me. Anyhow, it reminded me of two summers ago, my first summer in Atlanta, when I had an internship here, and I lived in the graduate apartments at Emory. I didn’t have my car with me in Atlanta, so I would walk to the Marta bus stop and catch the bus to the train and ride the train to my internship. Well, one particular morning, I was running late. It was raining lightly outside and I couldn’t find my umbrella or my hooded windbreaker, which was odd since I didn’t have much to look through. So I decided to walk through the drizzle so I wouldn’t be too late for work. The closer I got to the bus stop, the harder it rained. The whole way I fighting tears and asking the Lord to please let it stop raining until I got on the bus. When I got to the bus stop, it started pouring down. Rain was just beating down on me, and I was so upset that I was standing out there in the rain and that I would look a mess when I got to work. I decided to walk back to my apartment and dry off and start over. During my walk, I kept asking the Lord, “Why would you do that to me?” while crying and trying not to be hysterically upset. I walked back in my apartment completely drenched, and there was my answer… I had left my gas stove on. I immediately apologized to the Lord for doubting Him and started laughing after my heart stopped beating so fast after turning the stove off. What a tragedy it’d been if that gas had stayed on from 8-6… After I started over and got ready again, guess what. It was beautiful outside. And of course, I found my windbreaker under my books and folders in my bag (the one I was digging through as I walked in the rain trying to find something with which to cover up). And my umbrella was where I had left it–beside my desk… Unreal, huh? It’s instances like that one that let me know there is a higher power, and that I am watched over all the time. Well, let me get back to work.

One of my mantras is “perspective.”  Everything happens for a reason, yanno.  Even if it seems horrible or sad or negative now, there’s always a greater purpose that you’ll recognize when you try.  Even when you seem to not have any support or “covering,” God’s always there crafting and managing the situation.

One of my favorite quotes is “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”

And there it is.  Time to put my dancing shoes on.

 

MLM: How to Know God’s Leading You

MLM: How to Know God’s Leading You

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

Having not such a good day, but this post from 6-7-07 jumped out at me as I was browsing.  Still not really sure what it means to me on today, but it’s a pretty good post.  Enjoy.  Hope you’re having a better day than I am!  Oh, and Happy Indigenous People’s (or Native Americans) Day.

“Abraham… obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.” Hebrews 11:8 NIV

God guides us by closing one door then opening another. Abraham didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he couldn’t stay where he was — and that’s enough to create movement in the right direction. Knowing you can’t stay where you are is often the starting point of God’s guidance. And it usually begins with an inward stirring and restlessness in your soul. Seasons have beginning and endings. When a season is over, you sense it’s time to move!

“They headed north [to]… Bithynia, but again the Spirit… said no. So instead they went on through Mysia province to the city of Troas. That night Paul had a vision. In his dream he saw a man over in Macedonia, Greece, pleading with him, ‘Come over here and help us.’ Well, that settled it. We would go to Macedonia, for we could only conclude that God was sending us to preach the Good News there” (Acts 16:7-10 TLB). Notice, when God kept Paul from going to Asia, Paul didn’t stay there praying and asking “why?” — he just kept moving. For Paul, trying something and it not working out was no big deal. He believed that his gift to God was his willing heart and his mobility, and that God’s gift to him was that He would always guide him to where he needed to be. What God prevents, denies, or keeps us away from is as much divine guidance as what He permits and opens up to us. Every door that didn’t open, every opportunity you didn’t get, every call that didn’t come, is as much God’s guidance as those that did. Think about it!

What He said to me:
This whole devotional today was for me. I bolded and italicized the stuff that jumped out in a big way. My reading and praying today were confirmation for some of the things I’ve done in the past (including recent past) that some thought was kinda crazy, but I just felt I was supposed to move. I can only praise God for working with me–I might have issues in one area, but definitely not in all. I’ve always been ready and able to move in and out of situations that cultivate my future as far as career and business, etc., go. I have to thank Him for that strength because really, that’s what keeps me going when I’m severely struggling with my weak areas.

Which leads me to my weakest area–relationships. It also reinforced all that I’m having to re-learn about relationships. I have the tendency to try to make things work instead of letting them work. And of course instead of letting people go when their seasons are over, I have a hard time and I keep trying. Thinking there has to be something I can do to stop the end from coming (or from my castle being “destroyed” as the metaphor was yesterday). And I have to stop doing that. But I can say that the Lord is good to me because He takes people away from me–closes doors, stops calls, all that jazz–when He sees I’m not gonna. It creates an extra bit of pain, but at the end of the day I know it’s because I was keeping something that would distract me and hinder me from going where I’m supposed to go. I just have to learn how to deal with that pain. Or avoid the pain altogether by being obedient!!!! Which is my goal. I have got to learn how to apply the almost blind faith I have in Him in my business/career life to my personal/social life. Once I master that, oh goodness, watch out now!!

MLM: Good friends, good music, good conversation

MLM: Good friends, good music, good conversation

by Ranada ♥ 2 Comments

I found this post, written on 1/8/04.  I took a little bit of it out cuz I have some present day things to say. 🙂

I thought this post was interesting because:

1-I was just thinking about how I haven’t been to Apache on a Wednesday in soooooooo long (way too long) and I ran into one of my old Apache buddies when I was leaving How Sweet the Sound, which was such a great concert, Saturday night.

2-This post talks a little about how much singing means to me.  Saturday night, while at the gospel concert, I was thinking, if I would just take my little busy bee butt to choir rehearsal, it’s possible that I’d be on stage right now.  Then on Sunday, I went to the studio and started laying down a track for a songwriter/producer friend of mine who is trying to sell a song and thought my voice was perfect for it even though it’s been years since he heard me sing. Singing is definitely a release, and I felt better when I left.  I dunno why I don’t make singing more of a priority.  I say this at least 4 times every year. 🙂

3-This little metaphor about boys and jeans that I wrote over 6 years ago made me smile so I want to share.

It’s a morose Monday for me because it was cold as ever this morning (48 degrees), and I’m having some other little issues.  But maybe some noon time sunshine and an email or two will make me feel a little happier.  Enjoy the post, and I hope you’re in for a mucho productive week!

Last night I had a wonderful time. We went to Apres Diem for dinner first then to Apache, which is one of my fave spots. Thank you to my home girl Mo for taking me there a year ago. Music is so good for the soul, I tell you. At first, I was getting agitated because there were no seats, and I was getting a little weary. Then one of the girls I was with debo’ed a table, and shortly after two more seats opened up, and I really enjoyed myself after that. I felt so glamorous too. Half the time I really don’t see anything in my closet to wear, but when I am trying to dress up, I think I do it right. I think I get that from my mama. [[words omitted]] So I’m sitting there, sipping on my White Zinfandel and enjoying the company three other black sistas, and I realize that I could get used to that. Just going out, chillin, getting wrapped up in the music. One day, I’m going to get over my chronic shyness and go up there and share a talent, share some emotions. But until then, I’ll be content feeling what other people are trying to relay and singing my heart out in the shower, in the car, and at church (while I’m in the congregation and everybody is singing).

[[words omitted]]
During dinner, my friend and I talked about alot of stuff, and one thing that she said that I am really thinking about now is that guys are like pairs of jeans. And this is both our thoughts together. We see some really cute ones, and we try them on, and they maybe fit in the waist, but not the hips. Or they fit up top but aren’t long enough. And sometimes we try on a pair that would look so good if only we could button them up or if only this, if only that, and we try and we try and we try to make them fit, but they just don’t. So we have to realize that and put them back on the rack. And maybe they were the perfect jeans, but you’re just not the right size at the time. Maybe you’ve gained weight and they would have fit before, or maybe you’re going to lose some later on, but right now, they just don’t fit. But we have to keep trying different pairs on, even if we’re disappointed about that one pair. Cuz if we don’t keep trying, we’ll never find those jeans that just fit. I wonder if I’ll ever find my pair of jeans. But I guess I do need to stop holding on to my favorite pair of jeans that split by the back pocket one day (this is for real), and get it made into a cute purse or something so that I can always cherish the memory, and go back to the mall and start trying on jeans again.

By the way, I still have those jeans.  They actually made into my throw away pile FINALLY a couple of days ago. How hilarious is that!  Now, in case you’re having a morose Monday like me, here are a couple of songs that always make me feel better.

life is short. are you living it?

life is short. are you living it?

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

I found out today that someone I knew in college passed away. It reminded me, yet again, that life is short and not promised. So the natural next thought in my ongoing stream of consciousness is wondering if I’m doing what’s meant for me. Do I have the right people around me? Am I taking the risks I need to take to succeed or those I need to take to be happy? Am I leaving the mark I want to leave on this earth?

I think so. I’m in a place of unbelievable possibility, intentional activity, and high expectations for awesomeness. I’m somewhat content with where I am, while taking deliberate steps to continue growing and moving forward. How bout you? Are you living today and not just planning to live tomorrow?

If not, start right now. Tomorrow might never become today.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

by Ranada ♥ 4 Comments

Last night a friend of mine posed the question:

What happens after happily ever after?

I replied that there is no after after the after. Got that?
“Happily ever after” is the rest of time. After the story ends, no matter what else happens during “happily ever after,” the main characters will be okay.  They will overcome obstacles, and life will continue to be worth living.

So why have I been searching for “happily ever after”?  I’m already in it! My life is definitely worth living, and I already know through the blood of Christ, that I’ve already overcome all of my obstacles.  Every minute of every day won’t be “happy,” but I know that through my pain, I find greater appreciation for joy.  Because of all the goodness in my life, I can find joy in my life despite hardships and disappointments.

You have to find “ever after” with the Most High.  It really is all about perspective.  What do we choose to focus on?  Would you rather worry or meditate?  Both require focus–the only difference is the object of that focus.  For instance, I have had some romantic failures.  I am lonely.  Long term companionship seems to evade me.  BUT should I focus on that? Or should I focus on my family, my friends, all my wonderful accomplishments and triumphs, all the projects I have going, all the dreams that I know will one day come to fruition…  Umm, my life is kinda awesome.  No really… It is.

As a dear friend told me during a crying spell, if the only thing wrong is my loneliness and I have everything else pretty much going well, why am I spending my energy on the loneliness?  As I continue to move forward in life, I have to trust that “one day my prince will come” (and stay).  And positivity comes from focusing on all the great stuff.  It’s like the serenity prayer says:

Romance is not the only piece to that “happily ever after” thing.  But having a relationship with Christ is.

It’ll take a whole other post to discuss it, but once we as human beings submit to Christ and reflect his light, we are then able to submit to one another.  I look forward to the day I will reflect the light of some great man who will cherish and adore me.  But until then, I’ll be patient. I am okay with rolling solo, being who I was made to be.

Erykah Badu, as y’all know, is one of my favorite artists.  And she captured what’s in my heart very well in this song.  Enjoy.

I’m an orange moon, reflecting the light of the Son (sun)…

I’m an orange moon, and I shine so bright cuz I reflect the light of my Sun
I praise the day He turned my way and smiled at me
He gets to smile and I get to be orange

Life Lessons on MARTA

Life Lessons on MARTA

by Ranada ♥ 7 Comments

So, at lunch, I decided to take a trek on MARTA to support a friend (Black Tie BBQ – check them out for delish food!!), and as fate would have it, I’d have a lightbulb moment randomly.  Which makes sense.  I live by randomness, it seems.

Anywho, on to the lesson.  Currently, I’m reading Blackgammon, which is the story of two black American women who are searching for love (or maybe running from it) and freedom in Europe. The book has been right on time, so naturally, I was really into it when it was time for me to change trains at Five Points.  As I stood on the platform waiting for a westbound train, enthralled by my book, I heard the whir of a train pass me.  I looked up and saw the lights of the train leaving me.  Oh no! I thought…  I have to wait 6 whole minutes for the next train.  Sheesh!  Me and this dangblasted book.  How in the world did I completely not hear the train when it arrived?  (Another reason is because it was a short train–the Bankhead train, which is about half the size of a normal MARTA train and I was too far down on the platform.)

So I moved closer to the center of the platform and took a seat and began reading again, careful to glance up every minute or so at the sign announcing the wait time for the next train.  The next train came. Something felt very wrong about it as I stood there missing another train.  Then it dawned on me!  I wasn’t supposed to catch that train–it’s going in the wrong direction!  I was supposed to be waiting on the eastbound train!!  Too hot (and lazy) to run, I took my time and went around the station to get to the eastbound platform.  And sure enough, when I got to the platform, a train came.  Right on time.

<MESSAGE!>

In life, sometimes things seem to be going right and then suddenly, something happens to derail all of it and you’re left wondering “How in the world did that happen?”  Or sometimes although things are great, you come to a unexpected juncture, and you think you’re going the right way, but then you realize that way has a barbed wire fence blocking it.  Maybe, just maybe, it’s there for a reason. Maybe that missed out opportunity wasn’t what you were supposed to be doing anyway.  Maybe it would have taken you in the wrong direction, on to the wrong path.  Maybe once you realize that and go to where you need to be, what you need will be there, waiting on you–always right on time.

Disappointments come.  They’re a part of life.  But the perspective surrounding those disappointments can be positive if you remember that everything happens for a reason and the way they’re supposed to.  You just need to be aware and open for some clarity and enlightenment.

There’s a reason for everything that comes and goes…

The Intermittent Rigamarole of My Life

The Intermittent Rigamarole of My Life

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Yes, rigamarole is a real word.

From dictionary.com:

rig·a·ma·role (rĭg’ə-mə-rōl’) 
n. Variant of rigmarole.

rig·ma·role (rĭg’mə-rōl’) 
n.

  1. Confused, rambling, or incoherent discourse; nonsense.
  2. A complicated, petty set of procedures.

When things that seem to make all the sense in the world become confusing and chaotic, what do you do?  I am looking forward to clearing my mind with some hot yoga in the morning.  I know that all things work out the way they’re supposed to, but it’s sometimes difficult for me to shift to find the new perspective.  Oh, I will shift.  Without a doubt.  But there’s a delayed reaction. Maybe (hopefully) it’s just for a little while.  And by little while, I mean a quick moment.  Lofty, but possible, right?  It’s just hard being vulnerable and not in control.  But ever the risk taker, I can’t help but try, even if it ends in failure. I bump my head and get back up after as soon as I’m no longer dizzy.

So until I make that shift that facilitates my ability to have a positive perspective, this is for me and anyone else there that is having some trouble sorting stuff out.

Be still, young heart, and never will you fall apart.
Be wise, my dear, you must learn to just be still
Until you really really know.
Show me your eye, shine your light, I wonder when will i know.

Love and Randomness

Love and Randomness

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

Love is in the air.  While it seems to be darting every which-a-way when it enters a 5 yard radius of me, it’s so great to see my friends swooning and being wooed. Black love exists!! (Despite the media alarms that it’s endangered–it still exists.) It’s something special to see your friends giddy and grinning.  What’s more uplifting than the aura of love infused in the atmosphere?  Positivity is contagious!  Let it infect you!

There’s nothing like the feeling of a new connection.  The stolen glances at the guy across the room whose good looks caught your eye. The charming smile sent your way to acknowledge that the interest is mutual.  The instant spark you feel as soon as he enters your energy field to introduce himself and find out who you are.  The natural flirting that neither of you can help.  It feels great when you go out on your first (and second and third) date and your heart flutters as he dotes on you and stares into you, learning you, allowing himself to be learned.  And it’s astounding when you could talk to him until daylight or when you can sit with him without a word spoken.

It’s really only supposed to work out once–which means it won’t work out who knows how many times before that.  Although I sometimes kick myself for being (maybe too) open and vulnerable, I wouldn’t trade those immensely charged feelings of being connected to someone, desire, anticipation, hope, inspiration, promise for the hope of never feeling disappointed, rejected, abandoned.  You won’t know if it’s meant to be unless you step out on faith and see.

Love is in the air.  Jump up and grab some.