Love and Randomness

Love and Randomness

Love is in the air.  While it seems to be darting every which-a-way when it enters a 5 yard radius of me, it’s so great to see my friends swooning and being wooed. Black love exists!! (Despite the media alarms that it’s endangered–it still exists.) It’s something special to see your friends giddy and grinning.  What’s more uplifting than the aura of love infused in the atmosphere?  Positivity is contagious!  Let it infect you!

There’s nothing like the feeling of a new connection.  The stolen glances at the guy across the room whose good looks caught your eye. The charming smile sent your way to acknowledge that the interest is mutual.  The instant spark you feel as soon as he enters your energy field to introduce himself and find out who you are.  The natural flirting that neither of you can help.  It feels great when you go out on your first (and second and third) date and your heart flutters as he dotes on you and stares into you, learning you, allowing himself to be learned.  And it’s astounding when you could talk to him until daylight or when you can sit with him without a word spoken.

It’s really only supposed to work out once–which means it won’t work out who knows how many times before that.  Although I sometimes kick myself for being (maybe too) open and vulnerable, I wouldn’t trade those immensely charged feelings of being connected to someone, desire, anticipation, hope, inspiration, promise for the hope of never feeling disappointed, rejected, abandoned.  You won’t know if it’s meant to be unless you step out on faith and see.

Love is in the air.  Jump up and grab some.

Be true to you.

Be true to you.

I got an extremely random set of text messages today, and it got me thinking. I want to share with you my conclusion from the exchange.

Lesson of the Day:  Be true to yourself. Consider advice from others, but make your own decisions. Follow your own heart and conscience.  At the end of the day, no one will live with ur regrets but you. So why be bound by other people’s opinions?

I was blessed to have parents who believed in letting me be me.  When I was faced with the decision of whether or not to skip my senior year of high school and start college at 16, my mom said, “This one is on you.  I’m not going to make this decision for you and have you resenting me one day if you don’t do what you really want.”  I will always remember those words.

I truly believe everything happens as they are supposed to–but how we feel about all of everything depends on several factors.  Attitude and perspective (during and after the fact) are part of it, but our regrets play a major role as well.

Listen up.  You only have one life.  Live it the way you’re led to live it.  Don’t depend on anyone else to bestow upon you the dreams they have.  Accept the ones God puts inside of you, and pursue those.  Don’t wait for anyone’s permission.  DO YOU.

Mushy Musings, Part Deux

Mushy Musings, Part Deux

Yesterday, I posted 5 songs, all performed by the ladies, so today, I’ll post 5 from the guys on my Mushy Moments playlist.  Yep, it’s Friday, and the stresses of the week are sliding off my back.  Still daydreaming I am.

I could really do this whole post and a couple more with Musiq and Raheem.  But I’ll try to restrain myself.  I’m posting the songs as I go/as they come to mind, so we’ll see what happens.

All we had were letters till we formed the words/Started from the lyrics till we found the verses that can bridge us through/Baby we could be the greatest love song…

I dream of singing this with Mr. Man while gazing into his eyes and swaying to the music.  I really love this song.  How can anyone not want to be smitten after listening to this?

I’ll be something like the rebirth of love with a twist/it started with a simple kiss/what could be more precious then the rebirth of love?

This song puts into words why I’m open-minded and is a fave on my playlist. Raheem really is one of my favorite male singers ever.  I’ve been a fan since he was in Crossrhodes.  Yes, I have the mixtapes and the albums.  I’ve been to all but one concert that he’s done in Atlanta.  I’m a borderline Stan.  If you haven’t picked up the latest album, go get it.  Especially you conscious minded folks out there. 🙂

Don’t want you to escape cuz I know true love is hard to find–so I keep her heart in mine…

Brandon Hines is a slept on artist.  I found out about him in 07 (I think), and I’ve been a fan since.  Check him out at his website and on youtube.

I would gladly walk you home, but you’re already here…

Cee-Lo Green is another artist I follow.  His creativity is like none other.  Here’s one of my faves from Cee-Lo Green…Is the Soul Machine.

Your love, your love is amazing. One touch takes me a thousand places…

Van Hunt makes me smile.  I thought of a couple of other songs from his first album, but they have a slight depressing undertone.  But this one finishes off this post perfectly.

Happy Friday, folks!  I hope you have a positive, relaxing, and satisfying weekend!

Jitney

Jitney

This afternoon, a friend of mine and I went to the Alliance Theatre and enjoyed a great production written by the great August Wilson called Jitney.

Set in 1977 in a jitney stop (car service) in Pittsburgh, this production explored a range of topics still relevant to the black community, including the disconnect between generations, alcoholism, the role of men in households and families, love and forgiveness, the importance of communication between romantic partners, the effects of war on young soldiers, the lack of support for small businesses in some cities, and the list goes on.  This would have made for a great Reads and Reels discussion!

In addition to the  great music played between scenes (classics like Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give It Up”), I really enjoyed the light banter and surefire black lingo infused into the script. The characters were real to me because I could definitely hear my daddy talking like these guys were. Although the plot was very heavy overall, the production made good use of comic relief.

It made me smile to see so many black folk at the theatre, supporting the arts. If you haven’t seen it, make sure to put this on your list of things to do this month. Jitney runs through June 27.

I want it all!

I want it all!

From the time I thought that boys were no longer icky and were worthy of interest, endless thoughts, and daydreams, I’ve always had a “type”.  Of course, physical characteristics were always important–my mom always told me “you have to wake up to him in the morning” and “you need to think of your kids.” But if we took a look at all the guys I’ve ever crushed on or dated, I think one thing they mostly all had in common was that they were strong personalities dipped in lots of charm.  I don’t know what it is, but I’ve always liked that guy who loves (or at least is comfortable in) the spotlight, knows everybody there is to know, and spends his time mapping out and taking action toward his passions.  And many times I’ve blamed this insatiable desire for my dating woes.  The guys I actually liked back were the guys with girls chasing them down the block (no, really–one ex had a girl chase him down State St, 220, and Northside Drive in Jackson in a car, but that’s another story) and doing whatever they can to divert his attention; the guys whose dreams were so big that they didn’t know how or didn’t want to juggle, and I never knew if I’d ever be a sizable priority in their lives.

Yet, I have not been willing to (or maybe even able to) take this characteristic off my “list”.  There’s just something about a guy who has mastered his social skills and oozes a certain self-confidence and who is all about doing something major while he’s on earth that makes me fan myself. And I’m fine with that.  Why? Because I think as we get older, I’m more likely to find the sharp, charismatic guy who is that able to provide me with the balance that has been missing for so long (and yes this is an ambiguous statement–I need help with my own balance and he needs to have some level of balance on his own).  We’re all growing into ourselves, right? So once we know what we want, including our partner–don’t we do want we have to do to manage all things important?

So I said all that to introduce an interesting Twitter convo that made me say hmmm.

JHJeffers: RT @DGJ_1977: RT @RHYMEFEST: So ladies be careful what you ask for, because loving ambitious, charismatic & powerful men comes with a cost.

Me: Which is? RT @JHJeffers: RT @RHYMEFEST: So ladies be careful what u ask for bc loving ambitious, charismatic & powerful men comes w a cost.

JHJeffers: @NadaJo: Powerful men often have a strong desire to control and have egos that are out of this world

Me: A few r humble but I can c it RT @JHJeffers @NadaJo: Powerful men often have a strong desire to control&have egos that are out of this world

JHJeffers: @NadaJo ‎​Charismatic men are super flirtatious and sometimes cross the line

Me: I see RT @JHJeffers: @NadaJo ‎​Charismatic men are super flirtatious and sometimes cross the line

JHJeffers: @NadaJo Ambitious men spend long hours working, Sometimes @ the expense of marriage

Me: Mm hmm RT @JHJeffers: @NadaJo Ambitious men spend long hours working, Sometimes @ the expense of marriage

Me: @JHJeffers so basically we ladies who like pwrful, charismatic, ambitious men need to also pray that he has humility, self-ctrl, and balance

Me: #icandothat

JHJeffers: @NadaJo: Yeeeaaaahhhhh, but I would just shoot for 2 out of 3 #imjustsaying

HarlemFaith: (Well said) RT @NadaJo so we ladies who like pwrful, charismatic, ambitious men need to pray he has humility, self-ctrl, and balance

HarlemFaith: @NadaJo I don’t know if I agree with everything @jhjeffers is saying.. but it’s interesting.

Me (knowing this will turn into a blog post, maybe even a series cuz this is getting good! heehee): What do u think? RT @HarlemFaith: @NadaJo I don’t know if I agree with everything @jhjeffers is saying.. but it’s interesting.

HarlemFaith: @NadaJo @jhjeffers I don’t like the fact that the argument seemed so segmented and over generalized. Yes, those characteristics make ppl

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers successful but powerful men(and women) in lasting relationships know when to turn them on and off.

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers too much of anything is bad…. and there’s a time and place for everything.

HarlemFaith: @nadajo @jhjeffers… I want my man to be just as ambitious as I am.. (and he is) when we are together that energy is directed towards me.

HarlemFaith: For a while, me and many of my counterparts were told that our ambitious, agressive personalities were the reason we didn’t have a man

HarlemFaith: I disagree.. I think there is a time and place for anything. and the key to a successful relationship without losing who you are is figuring out how to channel that intense energy.. and use it for good. lol. Use those same skills to please your man.

HarlemFaith: I’m a big proponent of playing my “position”. I can be your woman (opinionated and all) but still allow you to be the man.

Me: YES! RT @HarlemFaith I’m a big proponent of playing my “position”. I can be ur woman (opinionated & all) but still allow you to be the man.

The convo is still going on.  But I’ll do a poll.  Can we (I) have it all?  Is it possible to have what we want plus the balance needed to make the relationship last and thrive?  Do we have to choose between the power, charisma, and ambition and the devotion and dedication?  Chime in!

Speech: Live on Purpose

Speech: Live on Purpose

Today, I gave a speech at my Toastmasters meeting.  I had been putting this speech assignment off for the last month because I just wasn’t amped about any topics.  Last night, right before bed, though, I was given inspiration.  And lemme tell ya, when I’m inspired, I can’t be stopped.  I went to sleep with an issue on my heart, and I woke up with this speech in my brain.  I didn’t read it the entire delivery (working on my speaking skills so I can’t be at the lectern reading the whole time!), so I’m sure I didn’t say exactly what’s written below, but you get the gist.  Enjoy!

I had another speech planned, but last night, my godsister Schana had to be taken to the hospital because of complications with her diabetes.  I was told that she has to have a toe amputated.  This, of course, led me to think about a college classmate and friend of mine named Nakemia, who passed away last year due to complications with her diabetes. I also thought about my 17-year-old mentee Bria who has diabetes and had to learn to give herself insulin shots when she was in elementary school.  At first, as I thought of people I love who have been taken and affected by diseases, such as breast cancer, kidney cancer, and heart disease, I thought that I would write a new speech about diseases that affect our communities, but then it dawned on me—there’s another lesson here.  One that is much less dismal.  WE have to live our lives to the fullest because life and health aren’t promised.  We must live with intention—so today, I want to encourage each of you to live on purpose, starting with these three tips: love yourself, strive to accept your calling, and don’t put off until tomorrow what you could do today.

The first tip seems very simple, but putting it to action isn’t always so easy.  Love yourself.  What does that really mean?  Well, you should make yourself a priority and take care of yourself.  So many times, as human beings who love others, we put others before ourselves and forget to do what we need to do: eat properly, exercise regularly, get adequate rest, meditate, have fun.  When you first get on a flight, what does the flight attendant say?  If there is a loss of cabin pressure, a person should put on his or her OWN oxygen mask FIRST, and then put on the mask of someone needing assistance.  This is because loss of oxygen is disorienting, and in order to help someone else, you need to be keen and alert with all your senses.  This can be applied to life in general.  When you’re at your best, you can do a much better job of helping other people than you can when you’re mediocre, or just making it.  One thing I’ve started doing for myself is going to Bikram yoga, also called hot yoga, which is a form of yoga performed in a 103-105 degree room.  Sounds like death, right?  Well, it’s actually very refreshing.  The heat allows me to zone out and clear my head and center myself while focusing on my poses, challenging my balance and increasing my flexibility.  It’s great for meditation.  I feel like a thousand bucks after each and every session.  Whatever your method, make yourself a priority today!

Once you’re actively loving yourself, you can be much more effective in other people’s lives.  I strongly believe that everyone has a calling, and living on purpose requires my second tip: strive to accept your calling.  Who knows the Bible story of Jonah and the whale?  Well, briefly, God told Jonah, who was from Galilee, to go to Nineveh, which was enemy territory. He was to go and preach to the Ninevites and get them to repent.  Well, Jonah was not hearing that, and he ran away, which many of us do by ignoring that urge we all get to do something.  He ended up being thrown overboard a ship and swallowed by a whale, all to end up doing what he was supposed to do in the first place.  By living up to our purpose for being here, we live intentionally.  As you all know, I do a lot of community service, and one of the things I love most is tutoring and spreading the joys of math. nerd smug But it’s not just about tutoring, it’s about being there for my students when they need me and being a positive role model for kids.  One of my current students, a 9th grader who lost her mom some time ago, told me last week that she wanted to drop out of school because of family issues.  That really disturbed me and even after I had a long talk with her, reminding her of all her goals, the importance of education, and all the activities at school she loves, I still thought about her all weekend and came up with a strategy to use if my talk didn’t help.  When I saw her last night, she was back in good spirits.  She had changed her mind, and she reached out to me, asking me to spend more time with her this summer even after our tutoring sessions were over.  I decided then to make it my mission to make sure she gets through the next 3 years of high school.  I don’t do these things for pats on the back—I do them because I was called to.  It’s a part of living on purpose.

Finally, don’t put off until tomorrow what you could do today.  We all do it.  Oh, I’ll call my brother tomorrow.  I’ll fix up that old cabinet next weekend.   I’ll reorganize my office soon.  I’ll go get a massage when I have time.  I’ll donate to a charity once I get a raise.  Don’t keep putting off your goals and wants and needs.  Do them now.  Be intentional with your life!  Write down your list of tasks and give yourself a deadline to get them done.  Log on to Google calendar and put them where you can see them and set reminders.  But also, when you feel an urge to do something small but thoughtful—call a loved one, or write a letter or send a card to someone, or ask a friend to go to dinner, just do it.  Don’t wait until next week.  Life is not promised.  And you never know—that urge may have been God-sent.  That person may have needed that at that moment.  I was near a friend’s house yesterday and although it was 9 o’clock, I called her and asked her if she had eaten.  Although she wasn’t at home, she was still touched that I had thought about her.  It’s the little things sometimes.

So today, in the midst of all the chaos in the world, I want each of us to live on purpose.  We need to love ourselves, strive to accept our callings, and do today what we can do today.  Thanks.

Brain Dump

Brain Dump

Whoa nah!  I have tons of stuff on my mind, and I don’t even really know where to start or what I want to get off of it.

So this post may end up being total stream of consciousness.  And I’m random like that, so that’s a-ok with me.

I’ve said on multiple occasions that I tend to have a grudge-holding problem, but I’ve been actively trying to combat that because as we know acknowledgement is the first step, but there are still other steps.  So after prayer and meditation, I made some steps toward reconciling with an old friend.  The convo started off kinda tough because expressing pinned up emotion and listening to other people tell you want they think is wrong with you usually are, but I was able to put the right amount of compassion into my responses to her, and I think we’re on our way to being friends again one day.  BUT the good news is that I have let go of my lingering frustrations and bad vibes over that situation.  I was able to release it, and all it took was allowing myself to express my feelings in a constructive way–despite what she said to me.  No yelling, no blowing up.  Stay cooool. 🙂 *Progress!*

Speaking of old friends, one of my childhood friends emailed me yesterday morning and let me know that her nephew is having brain surgery.  You know, the stuff you kinda just think happens on TV.  So she, her nephew, and their family have been at the top of my prayer list.  She sent me an update this morning and he made it through the surgery fine, and now we’re waiting to hear what the new test results are.  I really hope he makes it through, ready to enjoy a full, happy, inspired life.

Inspiration… What inspires you?  What inspires me?  Feeling like I’m making a difference inspires me.  I had a hectic week at work last week, but it was all to the good because I really feel like my job is setting me up to make some real impacts.   Even seeing a reference in a newspaper article to a research document I created set my spirits on fire.  I’m not just working everyday to earn a paycheck (although that is oh so necessary lol)–my work is being prodded and probed and considered and acted on.  It’s because of my long hours that somebody somewhere made a decision that will have far-stretching impacts in a city, a county, or even a region or state.  That matters to me.  I’ve come to learn that I put in my hardest work when I feel like I or it matters.  If I don’t see the significance, it’s hard for me to buckle down and get er done.  Knowing that is helping me to prioritize and better use my time (and say a much needed no more often).

And a certain something has me daydreaming and grinning.  Buuuuuuut I’ll let that stay in my head for awhile. Just for superstition’s sake.  No jinxes please.  Just fun times ahead.  Hmmmmm…

Speaking of fun, softball has been kicking my lazy, out-of-shape butt, but being around black folks in a ball park has done something to me.  It makes me feel more at home.  I can remember going to the ballpark with my mom to watch my dad play.  It’s a really vague memory, lol, but I remember, nonetheless.  My aunt would be keeping score or somewhere near us.  And it was just fun times with laughter and sometimes the smell of food on the grill filling the air.  It took me 8 years to find that in Atlanta!!  And right in time for the summer.  Yippie ya!

I don’t even know what else is swirling around in this complicated mind o’ mine.  Besides that something I don’t want to deliberate on. 🙂  lol you want to know, don’t you? Too bad, so sad!  haha  Anyway, there have been lots in the news I could talk about, but most of it is negative and I’m in too good of a mood to get on my soap box today.  So maybe tomorrow.  In the meantime, get your groove on with one of my newest jams.  I know you want to…

P.S. If you don’t have one–get a mantra or two.  Mine are “Positivity prevails” and “Focus on the miracle.”  They come in handy!!  You gotta align your perspective up with your circumstance to make it through tough times.  Remember that your attitude is often your testimony.  Ok, I’m done for real this time.  Tootleloo!

Using My Talents

Using My Talents

Well, the Gospel Extravaganza is tomorrow, and I’m experiencing several emotions.  I’m excited, worried, nervous, and the list goes on.  But most of all, what started out as a marketing ploy has really become an aha moment.  I decided to join the lineup in hopes that people I know would come out just to hear me sing.  Because I’m not so diligent in finding opportunities to use all of my talents, there are a ton of people who have no idea I can sing.  And the one time I sang on a stage in GA in 2007, it was kinda iffy.  I dunno why.  Well, yeah I do.  I was nervous, I was upset about my hair, I was ready for the event to be over, and a ton of other issues.

I joined the choir at my church a couple of years ago, but I haven’t made my Thursday free in order for me to go to choir rehearsal so that’s been a bust.  Last year, I sang as one half of a duet in my line sister’s wedding, and that was exhilarating! So why haven’t I made singing a priority? *shrug* I don’t really know.  So I was UBER nervous before rehearsal last night, but when I got that mic in my hand and let the notes start flowing, I was back in my element.  So when will I give all my talents some attention?  I definitely don’t want to lose any of them, especially not my voice.  I just have so many that I struggle to understand why they were given to me or what I’m supposed to do with them or how they fit together with each other (if they do at all!).  I mean, singing is something I love.  Even though Smokie is the only one who hears me on a regular basis. :-/  I definitely need to get with it!

When I sing, I express and fully feel emotions that aren’t normally expressed by me.  I can be a somewhat a-emotional person.  I’m kind of an extremist.  Either I’m not expressive at all or I blow up.  Never too much in the middle.  But when I sing, emotions relevant to the song just well up and overflow.  Happiness, excitement, sadness, hurt, anger, anxiety, hope, enthusiasm, all of it.  There’s a song that parallels anything I’m feeling and can’t quite get out.  Music just does something to my soul.  So here’s to sanging, and here’s to a successful concert on tomorrow!