Category: Reflections

In a Sentimental Monday Mood

In a Sentimental Monday Mood

by Ranada ♥ 4 Comments

Time for Memory Lane Monday. Ever since my Pretty Girls Rock post, my mom has been finding pics for me, and it’s sent me through lots of reflection and sentiment. My mom surprised me this weekend by sending me a Polaroid of my grandma and Vernita together, a pic I had never seen before, and it is something super special to me. So bear with me as I reminisce. I promise I’m not always so somber. 🙂

When I think of funerals, I always think of the older people in the movies who have to go to everyone and get a program as a souvenir, lol. I don’t think I’ll ever be one of those people. I really don’t like funerals, and it’s probably because I’ve been to quite a few. I go because I totally get and subscribe to the school of thought that you have to celebrate a life and send your loved one off.  And I go because the family gets together in numbers greater than usual, and we spent the whole repast laughing and telling stories. And I’ve gone to a couple where I didn’t really know the deceased but I did know a living relative who really needed the support. If you didn’t know, I am really really sensitive so I get really upset when I see other people really really upset. An empath of sorts? I don’t know, but I’ll never forget my grandma Neva’s funeral, simply because it was the first time I had ever seen my mom cry and I really felt that pain on top of my own.

But this post is not about that. It’s about the celebration of life. I spoke a lil about my grandma before, so this time I want to talk a little more about my aunt Vernita, whom I mentioned in the Broke-ology post. In my brain, Vernita was the epitome of lively and adventurous. Every time I saw her she was full of sass and style. She seemed fearless on her quest to take life by its horns. I’m sharing a couple of pictures of her, my mom’s baby sister.

foxy and looking just like my ma!

Remember to take advantage of life while you have it and keep in mind that you’re creating memories for those who will be here after you’re gone. Make them positive ones. I think of Vernita often. Sometimes I think I channel her busybody spirit. Imagine my mom’s reaction when I got my nose pierced like Vernita’s had been. Haha! She commenced to fussing and I probably laughed it off the same way her little sister would. “Oh it’s fine. No it’s not a hindrance. It’s just a little sparkle!” Now if I can just find my cousin David, her son, I’d feel great. We were very close as kids, but we haven’t talked in years and I don’t really know how to find him (and his name is really common so Facebook has been a bust). If anyone out there does pro bono P.I. work, holla atcha girl. 🙂

Anyway, give someone special a hug today. And fill your spaces with pleasant memories. I think my next art piece will have something to do with the beauty of the women in my family. You know, do something with all these pics my mom is finding for me. 🙂

And because it’s also Music Monday, here’s a flashback that will make you fuzzy inside. Happy Monday! Have a productive week!

Pretty Girls Rock

Pretty Girls Rock

by Ranada ♥ 13 Comments

Hi, lovelies,

This morning I came across a Facebook invite that had an immediate impact.
The PRETTY GIRLS ROCK “DRESSES” Challenge will start
Tuesday, March 1, 2011.
Mission:
1. We will rock dresses and cute shoes (flats and heels) like our mothers & grandmothers at least THREE (3) times a week.
2. We will reject the impulse to throw on jeans, jogging suits (even the cute kind), & dress slacks.
3. Exchange our revelations and thoughts throughout this challenge.
4. Invite a Friend(s), Take Pics, & HAVE FUN.
5. Everyone is WELCOMED to participate.
6. Exceptions: Flattering Dress Suits with nice accessories are allowed.
7. If you have a blog share it with your followers. 

Let’s bring back:
*GLAMOUR. *GRACE. *CHARM. *FEMININITY. *PRISSYness (is that a word?) and most of all BEAUTY.

Pretty Girls Rock Dresses Spring/Summer 20-11 Challenge.

So of course, I was (as usual) rummaging through my wide array of garments to figure out how to stay warm at 8 am without getting too hot at 3 pm. Usually, I just look for what I don’t have to iron, but because of this piece of awesome encouragement, I was reminded that it’s never too much to put on a dress.  And of course, wearing a dress requires jewelry and makeup, too things that are usually optional or minimal in the morning. Just needed that one boost to give me the energy and motivation to do more that “throw something on”. I’ve already gotten a couple of compliments.

My grandma and Uncle Lonzo

It’s actually pretty funny, though, because my mom loves to tell me when I’m at home that I need to “show em what I got” — i.e. pamper myself in the mornings and always look my best–even when I’m about to get on the highway. I overlook that last scenario, but I am getting a little better about not just throwing on some jeans and showing up at a meeting without even lip gloss. I still wear my jeans and slacks (I mean I never just look completely busted–but I don’t always look A+), but I may be a little more intentional in my jewelry and a little more concerned about my makeup–never overdoing it, but definitely ensuring that I bring out my natural beauty with a couple of highlights.

It’s also funny because some people think I overdress.  Maybe it’s that extreme thing about me. I generally either do it big or not at all.  I do adore getting dolled up, but it hasn’t been a daily thing for me.

When I think of my grandma Neva (y’all know I always have to get sentimental!), I think of her dresses and ultra yet subtle fabulousness. I literally can’t remember one time where I saw her not looking like a million bucks. From her clothing choices (some of which I wear now) to her hair styles to her jewelry and makeup, it was clear that she was a woman that took pride in herself and took care of herself. In that spirit, I do resolve (as I did last year as a 2011 goal) to wear skirts and dresses a little more often and to make sure I devote time to myself, pampering and primping to make myself feel and look like a million bucks.

Thanks to Dearroka Winfrey for reminding me that being feminine and giving my pretty some shine is never too much. Just in time for the spring!! Happy warm days!

Broke-ology

Broke-ology

by Ranada ♥ 2 Comments

Wednesday night, I took a MUCH needed break from working long days (and nights) and went to see the True Colors Theatre production Broke-ology with my neighbors.

I didn’t really know what to expect from the title, but the play definitely surpassed my expectations.  Not focused just on the fact that the family was poor and how some things in life are just more important than how much money and possessions you have, this play explored many issues that hit close to home: how to take care of an illness-stricken family member, the responsibility of being close to home versus being limitless in chasing dreams, family planning, and even how people deal with death.

Since I want you to go see it (it’s at Southwest Arts Center until Sunday), I won’t get down into the details of the plot (except where it relates to my impending ramblings).  Suffice it to say that despite my sleep deprivation this week, I didn’t fall asleep for a second!

I love when art causes me to slow down and self-reflect, which definitely happened Wednesday night. One of the characters went home to Kansas City, Kansas after receiving his graduate degree from UConn.  His brother never left home, and although he works at a wings spot, he has been instrumental in helping to make sure their father, who is suffering from MS, is okay.  The younger brother, the UConn graduate, has no idea just how difficult it has been for the family and is extremely torn about staying at home and helping out but knowing he will likely get “stuck” or moving back to Connecticut after a summer position with the EPA and following his desire to teach and do environmental research with his academic mentor. Can you say para-llel? I’ve often felt the same way–except not as torn just because I go home semi-regularly since I can drive there. I’ve considered moving back home sooner than later (I at least want a second home there), especially when I see how stressed my mom gets trying to help the rest of my family.  Or even when I think of every day things that I could do if I were there that I never have time to do during my visits, like playing spades with my family like the characters were playing dominoes or learning crocheting techniques from my grandma for more than an hour or two here and there. I love being at home, and I love my family more than anything. But I’ve always been the explorer. The adventurer. I’m not quite ready to lay my roots down there. As far as my career is concerned, I could make some small strides at home, but I’m really flourishing here in Atlanta and I’m not ready for a slight career change, a veer on the road if you will.  I could work for organizations who are my clients currently, but I like being the consultant, and I love working in different communities, seeing the different dynamics.  But I always have my family in the back of my mind. Wondering if I’m being selfish. But I know in the grand scheme, I’m not because I give back and help out in my own way. But is it enough?

I got a little sentimental, though, when the older brother who has been in Kansas City the whole while told his younger brother that if he moves, he will miss all the milestones of his baby that’s on the way.  I immediately thought of my nieces and nephews, who I can’t be as close to as their aunts and uncles that are in town. I write letters, keep up with them on Facebook, spend time with them when I go home, but I’m definitely not doing nearly as much or being as influential in their lives as I would if I lived there. But on the other hand, I think back to my own aunt Vernita. She was an explorer like I am. She lived in DC until she was murdered when I was in the 9th grade. I remember vividly being so excited to see her and spend time with her when she would visit.  Although she lived so far away, I didn’t care as a child.  I can still remember her smell and her smile, even her laugh, and I would just bask in her presence. I still think about her from time to time, and it hurt me to the core when she was taken from us. I never begrudged her being away–in fact, it inspired me. My mom has told me countless times over the years that I remind her of Vernita. And that makes me feel close to her, even though I didn’t spend as much time with her as some of my other aunts and uncles.

I would keep going, but this post is getting a little long. And truthfully, I’m getting a little misty thinking about my aunt.  So… I’ll leave you with this: Cherish your family, no matter where they are. And seek to be a part of solutions, not problems.  Happy Friday, people!

Memory Lane Monday – Firsts

Memory Lane Monday – Firsts

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I’ve been thinking of doing this post for quite some time but haven’t had the chance. So here we go.  A fun little post about some firsts in my life and the music that goes with it!

My first tape ever was Oaktown 3-5-7’s Wild and Loose in 1989.  Even though “Yeah Yeah Yeah” was the first video (one of the first that got me in trouble for wanting (and asking) to wear sports bras and biking shorts), below is my fave song on that album, Juicy Gotcha Crazy (despite the fact that I didn’t have a clue what “juicy” was! lol).  B Angie B was my girl!!  And my cousins used to love getting me to do all the dances in this video (and I mean every step haha) and many many more after school. I so wanted to be a teenager in this era.

My first CD was 112’s self-titled album in 1996. My first high school boyfriend gave that to me.  I can still sing every song, complete with adlibs, on this album from start to finish.  Here are a few lyrics from one of my fave songs on there. I may have to record myself singing so I can post a youtube link, lol.

All the love you’ve given me
So special, seems to be no limit
I’ll do anything
There’s no boundaries to how we can grow
How can I let you know
Girl, let me sit and think, ohhhh

Why does the wind blow
Why does the sun shine
Why does the rain fall down on my face
Why does the earth spin
Why do the waters reach the shore
And tell me, tell me why
Why do I love you like I do

The first time I went to a dance at someone’s school was the 1998 prom at Murrah High School.  And boy, was that drama filled.  No, like, really drama filled.  I only got to dance to one song, and here it is.

In college, I was really reserved, probably primarily because I was the youngest one there.  I only went to maybe 2 parties freshman year. Really, it totally could have been 1.  Then I pledged.  And although I was still a little shy, especially compared to my line sisters and prophytes, I loosened up a lil and became a regular party-goer and a major party-walker.  In GA, all the AKAs start strolling when Set It Off comes on. But at home, the AKAs take over when Pump The Party comes on (well, really any song, but especially this one). This is the first song I learned a strut–THE Gamma O strut–to. 🙂

Speaking of college, again when I was a freshman, I was a bookworm and pretty much either in class, at work, tutoring someone, or goofing around on my hall in the dorm.  So alot of people outside of those things didn’t even necessarily know my name.  Just that I was the smart 16-yr old girl.  So to step out just a smidge, I decided to participate in the Freshman Showcase.  Ever the tomboy, I put on a fitting dress and sang a duet with a very outgoing freshman that EVERYONE knew could sing, Tyrone, who also played piano.  Now, the people on my hall knew I could sing, but that’s it. So when I stepped out and got the mic, I heard a few whispers of “oh Lawd, this girl better know how to sing.” I’m sure I surprised some folks. 🙂  Here’s the song we sang–the first song I ever sang in front of an audience at Tougaloo.

So speaking of singing in public, in high school I was in a singing group called G99.  We used to sing all the time, at school, at church programs, even competed once to go to Showtime at the Apollo but we were duped into entering the wrong contest (kids instead of adults) so we got beat out by some 5 yr old playing drums that got the crowd to say awwwww. I used to love love love singing with those girls, Faith and my bestie Kenya.  Our most requested song was Kirk Franklin’s My Life is in Your Hands, but here’s a song I really liked singing with them, and I’m pretty sure it’s the first song we sang together, even if just testing out the waters with our voices.

I could do this all day, but this one will be my last first.  When I was at church while I was at home helping my mom, a member came over after service to tell me that no matter how old I get she will always remember me singing this song when I was growing up, that she’s never heard another version that moves her like when I sang it.  It’s the song I sang in my first pageant.  And I bring that up because both of my mentees have participated in pageants and did really well.  I really enjoy pageants and what they contribute to the self-esteem of girls.  I know it did for me. I was in 10th grade when I did my first pageant, and I was soooooooooooooo nervous and so wondering if I even should since I wasn’t all that girly back then.  Here’s the song I sang.

Hope you enjoyed this post!  And I hope you’ll be checking back in to read the posts about the first Reads and Reels discussions in 2011.  Atlanta and Jackson had a great time, and Chicago is sure to have a blast this Sunday!!

Feature Friday… well kinda

Feature Friday… well kinda

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

Today, I’m still in a sanging mood, and during an impromptu yet really solid conversation about knowing who we are and what we deserve, Sirobe reminded me of a very special song that I’m going to feature.  So I’m dedicating this one to my favorite guy (I really am singing over here, lol), especially since the artist (well, a member of the group) is living his second chance.

You knew you had me
With your sensuous charm
Yet you looked so alarmed
As I walked on by

An awesome wonder
You had to know why
I did not respond
to carry on

Chorus:
Love me in a special way
What more can I say?
Love me now
(Repeat)

Love me now
Cuz I'm special
Not the average kind
Who'll accept any line
That sounds good

So reach into your chain of thought
Try to find something new
What worked so well for you before
For me just won't do

Chorus

Love me now...

(Instrumental)

So reach into your chain of thought
Try to find something new
What worked so well for you before
For me just won't do

Love me in a special way
What more can I say?
Love me now
Love me in a me in a special way
Just love me now

Nooowwww
And tell me what more can I say
Just love me nooowwww
And tell me what more can I say?
Just love me now
Love me in a--and tell me what more can I say?
Feature Friday: The Number Game

Feature Friday: The Number Game

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

So on Facebook this week, the number game blew up!  I particularly liked it because my FB friends were very positive about the people for whom they dedicated their statuses.  I only played for about 30 minutes Tuesday night, but here are a descriptions of those who sent me numbers.  Some made it into that 30 minute window, and others were sent after I stopped playing.  So needless to say, I’m blessed to know some great people. 🙂  Happy Friday!

3.14 I feel like you’re buttering me up. hmmmm lol. No really, you are the smart and super spunky lil sis that refuses to be placed in the nerd box. Keep on pursuing your dreams while enjoying every minute!

4 I used to love going to the barber shop when my stylist had a chair in there so that I could joke with you and get my eyebrows arched!  You’re a great guy, and your family is gorgeous!

17 I’m proud of you for all that you’re trying to do with your life. I want you to spend more time focusing on the good than the bad, and I promise the world will look like a better place!

20 I love that we became fast friends. From our mutual love of soul music and natural hair to your benefit-of-the-doubt giving nature, hanging out w you is always a blast!!

227 I always felt safe with you on the bus. You were always really sweet and cool to me and wouldn’t let anyone mess with me!

‎0329 I think u were my 2nd friend when I got to Clinton. So many memories, esp in orchestra. Like when u left your violin at hm and “borrowed” one and it turned out to be a viola and the whole year with Massimino. Haha

601 You are one of those least judgmental, most optimistic people I have ever met.  You can see the silver lining in any storm cloud.  I hope you never outgrow that remarkable and uncommon trait.  I love you for always being there and refocusing my perspective.  You’re beautiful inside and out, and I am blessed to have you in my corner.

‎799 You were one of the only non-freshman guys that would risk befriending a 16-yr old the 1st semester of my freshman year. I’m happy to see that you’re thriving like I always knew you would. Oh and I have a pitch to make to u soon. lol will msg you.

808 When I met you, I noticed how great you are with the kiddies!  Keep being stern yet soft with them!

1003 You and I have been through a lot, and we have such special memories.  From hating each other freshman year to being attached at the hip (and forehead haha) sophomore year through our rough patches through being grown-ups together now.  Keep being positive, keep being a trendsetter, and keep taking such good care of those cutie patooties!

1908 You are the best front a girl could ask for. When I need to lean forward, you’re right there! You are the most fabulous diva I’ve ever known, and I’m sooooo happy that we’re more than just sorors–we’re friends. I’m proud of everything you’re doing. Keep that infinite finesse going!

[Side note: How cool is it that my front and back ended up next to each other? Smooches to both of you! And no wonder I ended up going from pseudo tomboy to super girly–how could I not stuck between two super fashionistas? lol!]

1976 I remember when I met u and I’m pretty sure we changed ur opinion of good MS stock forever lol. You even married a MS magnolia! I’m very proud of you and can’t wait to meet your lil mini you!

2408 You were the cutest young kid I knew way back in the day. I’m so happy to see how well you’re doing despite adversity! Ill always be a member of your fam, even if y’all don’t see me often, lol.

‎7890 You and DP showed me how huge skeephi love really was. I still remember how special I felt when yall got an ad for me for the Miss Black and Gold pageant. I enjoyed being a Step Afrika groupie after the skeephi.com stint. You’re so talented and I hope life is treating you well.

46038 Being friends w your crazy, funny butt was the highlight of freshman year. Let’s see, I stood on top of a dangerous annex, spun around in a car and laughed as ur roommate cursed us out, rode Amtrak and got hit w my first snowball all w you. I know u don’t believe me, but I’m coming to Indy asap!

111169 Jr high would have never been so memorable without you. Many many laughs and I’m glad you’re still my bro after allllllll these years! Keep it funky!

384426 I’ve seen you evolve into a mature, creative, good mommy. I wish you the best in all your current and future projects. Keep up the good livin!

Racism in America, not just MS

Racism in America, not just MS

by Ranada ♥ 4 Comments

The inspiration for this post started with this article.  A few days ago, a friend of mine from Greenwood texted me to tell me there had been a lynching in her hometown.  A couple of days later, the article came out suggesting it was a suicide.

In the words of Ed Lover, C’MON SON, get the eff outta here with that bs.  Do you seriously want me to believe that?

The other issue I have with this article is that there are NO comments.  Now, I am a dedicated comment reader because comments can really paint the picture of who is living in this country and how they see the world.  I’ve winced a many day at comments that I’ve read on an array of topics, so I was prepared to read some on this one, but… Crickets.  What’s up with that?

Let’s call a spade a spade.  This is yet another example of hatred and racism in this country.  In 2010, the fact that someone could be lynched is a travesty.  And the fact that it hasn’t hit all the major news outlets yet is another.  But, I must admit, a small part of me is glad it hasn’t.  Wanna know why?

I get tired of the perpetuation of the negative stereotype of my home state.  I started this group on Facebook and am very happy to see that there are over 13,000 members in it.  Why?  Because so many people, outside of the state and even in the state, think that MS is the hub of all evil in the country and that nothing good comes from it.  Ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, but still.  I’ve heard people from all across the Bible Belt give MS grief as if their states don’t come with their own transgressions.  If you don’t know much about Mississippi and all of its contributions, you should browse this site for a few minutes.

Now, let’s be clear.  I do not for one second believe that Mississippi doesn’t have its problems or that it’s a perfect place.  And I don’t need another lesson on Mississippi history.  I got it along with southern history, American history, and Black history.  I just want to intimate that racism and the brutal killings of our black men is a NATIONAL problem.  Oscar Grant being shot in the back while unarmed is just as horrible as this poor man who was walking through the wrong neighborhood and somehow (since it could be self-inflicted <heavy sarcasm>) ended up hanging from a rope in a tree.  However, no one says that California is a hotbed for racism.  Sean Bell being gunned down by the police before his wedding?  Yep, not cool.  But no one blames it on the fact that he was in New York.

How about the man who was shot in the head and dragged by a car in South Carolina?  Are you getting my drift?

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way.  I want to know who out there cares.  What’s going to happen?  What is the answer?  How can we stop all this violence and hatred?  Will people be marching to the Mississippi Delta?  Or will this slide under the radar like many other issues?  We as Americans really need to address this and while we’re at it address the disproportionate number of black men in prison and what’s wrong with our system.  We can’t just sit around and wonder when the next brutal “accidental” murder will occur.  It’s time out for thinking that if we cover our eyes, not only will we not see it, but it’ll stop happening.  We need to wake up and see that it doesn’t just affect the families of the victims–it affects us all.  So let’s get to work.

The Greats and Grands in Our Lives

The Greats and Grands in Our Lives

by Ranada ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Instead of a feature today, I just want to get some things off my chest. I have a half-written post about Nacirema Society, but y’all know how I am–I have to have some inner inspired motivation to write in this here blog. Even despite my little ploy to get myself to write twice a week no matter what.

What’s on my mind today? Family. Love. Responsibility.

I dream of a day when I’ll be able to just help my loved ones when they need it. Remember when my granddaddy died and I said that I needed to step up? Well, stepping up ain’t so easy. I mean, really, who thought it’d be hard? Well, I guess I should have known. For goodness sake, I live 400 miles away. I see my mom struggling to help everyone, and I feel bad because I can’t be there to help her help everyone.  My other granddaddy has Alzheimer’s and it’s more than a notion caring for him and making sure he’s safe and as healthy as he can be.  Sometimes he thinks it’s the 80s, sometimes he can be a little sneaky, sometimes he can be a little aggressive, but all the time he needs someone to make sure his best interest is being considered.  My mom feeds him everyday and really doesn’t get much thanks.  And of course, when I got home last week I kinda felt some kinda way about it and didn’t want to visit.  But of course, my mom is who she is and made sure I walked next door, and I softened as soon as my granddaddy said “Besides your hair, you sure are looking pretty!”  (I think it’s funny–he’ll always be himself no matter what.)  I had to be thankful that he can still recognize me and is still happy when I come home to visit.  I just wish I could help distribute some of that caretaker’s burden.

I also went to see my great aunts who I usually do not make time to see, and I have no excuse for it.  My Aunt Geneva is doing GREAT for her age and my Aunt Sweet had to blink her eyes and give me her suspicious stare before giving me her award-winning smile, and I immediately felt bad that I hadn’t been inside either of their houses in way too long although I have to drive past them any time I go to or leave my mom’s house.  Houses I used to walk to just to be around them when I was a kid.  I used to love sitting in my Aunt Sweet’s kitchen and watching her bake.  I credit her for my little baking talents now.  Why does the absent thing happen?  I know I’m not the only one who has gone too long without checking on my elderly loved ones.  I think there are several reasons. It’s hard to watch your loved ones get older and less spunky, less mobile, weaker.  It also gets easier to keep focusing on the distractions–I’m sure the first time I didn’t make time to stop by, I felt awful, but as the visits passed and I still didn’t make time, the bad feelings went away.  It also gets overwhelming to hear about family drama that you can’t do anything about.

But here are some reasons we should make time for the foundations of our families.

  • They are so wise and full of information, knowledge, and inspiration. I feel rejuvenated after I spend time with my grandma.  She loves to tell stories, and she gives advice that sometimes is masked in anecdotes.  I guess, almost like Jesus and his parables, except as she’s giving me advice, she’s sharing our family history.  I love to hear about her life experiences, how they are similar to or different than mine, and how she became who she is.  You can’t beat an oral memoir.  Besides that, I enjoy looking at her features and thinking about who looks like her, kinda like her, and imagining what I will look like as I get older.
  • We should appreciate people while they’re around to feel appreciated. My grandma and I share a special crocheting relationship.  I appreciate her for teaching me how, and she appreciates me for wanting to learn from her and carry on her talent.  And now that my granddaddy is gone, she needs to know that she’s not alone.  Of course, her kids and grandkids can’t replace her baby, whom she was with for 60 years, but we can still try to fill that gap with love.  I’m so grateful that my cousins spend time with her and do for her.
  • We kinda owe it to them. They may be a little feeble compared to the old days, but think about all they did before they went through a transformation of getting older.  It has to be tough getting older, realizing that your hands don’t work the way they used to, seeing the wrinkles invade your space, having to take medicine more than ever before.  But before that, they were ripping and running.  Doing for us.  Showing us the way.  Working to provide a good life.  They took care of us, so now we need to take care of them.  Besides, we’ll miss them when they’re gone.  I should know this especially.  After all the family funerals I’ve been to, you would think I wouldn’t have to learn this lesson so often.
  • The elderly are not aliens from outer space. Some people get really uncomfortable around older people, and sometimes I wonder how uncomfortable that makes the older person.  They’re still people, just a little older.  They still need companionship and human care and concern like er’body else.

I could talk more about abuses that I’ve read in the paper and online.  But y’all know how dirty people can be and how some people target the elderly.  All I will say is, please don’t be one of those awful people who take advantage of people.  If you haven’t visited an older member of your family in awhile, I encourage you to do so soon.  Maybe at Christmas or something.  And if you don’t have a “Great” or a “Grand” in your life, consider going by a nursing home or assisted living facility and meet one.  They’re treasures, and we should treat them as such.

MLM: The Time of My Life

MLM: The Time of My Life

by Ranada ♥ 1 Comment

Happy Monday to you and Happy Birthday Eve to me!  The post I’m about to share was written on 9/22/04, and in it, I talk enjoying my 20s, which I’m about to be saying goodbye to over the next year.  Also, I thought it was nifty that my birthday, my golden birthday at that, was on a Tuesday that year just like it is this year.

I still don’t have a bunch o’ regrets.  As I move into my 30th year, I know that I’ve accomplished a lot, I know tons of great people, and I have so much I want to do and know I will do.  Life will always have its ups and downs, and I’ve had some hella ups that are way more vivid memories than the downs.  So no complaints over this way.  Especially after a great weekend.  Friday, I chilled and talked and chilled and talked.  Saturday, I had a day full of tons of stuff, including a workshop,a business launch, a dinner with the girls where they surprised me with cupcakes :), and dancing at Old School Saturday with a slew of friends.  Yesterday, I got to see my mentee strut her stuff in her first pageant, and she won Most Photogenic in her division and overall and 1st runner up to Miss Jr Teen Atlanta, and I was treated to a nice dinner and a delectable dessert.  And later this week, I’ll get to spend my Thanksgiving with my awesome family.  See, how could I complain?  Yep, I’m still having the time of my life.  Anywho, here ya go.

I was listening to the radio this morning, and for one time, Ryan Cameron made me think. (I usually don’t listen to him because he aggravates me.) Anywho, I came in on the end of the convo so I dunno what prompted the topic, but he was discussing with the rest of his crew the importance of living life and not putting things off until you can “afford” it because alot of us will never enjoy ourselves that way. He talked about how some parents miss out on the special moments of their kids’ lives working all the time and saying, “Well, next time, but this time I need to do overtime so I can…” And then he said something about a girl who gave her entire 20s to a guy and now she’s alone and talking about how she’ll never go back to all that drama after she’s missed out on probably the funnest part of the average person’s life. Which got me to thinking about me and this part of my life. I must say that I am thoroughly enjoying my 20s (even though I kinda just began them but that’s ok–I’m looking forward to the rest of em). I know I gripe alot about different things, and I do get sad and unsatisfied sometimes, but overall, I don’t think when I look back on my life I will have many regrets or woulda/coulda/shoulda’s so far. I’m having a ball while working on the future. I’m meeting people, not as many as I’d like sometimes, but the people I have met and gotten to know are great people and you can’t beat that. And my networking circle is widening by the week. And again, I am having fun. I get stressed sometimes, but that’s a part of life, right? Last year was kinda boring, but this year and my senior year were great. Now as I’m finishing up my 23rd year (for you folx who hate my math logic–when you’re 22, that’s cuz you’ve lived 22 complete years and are going into the 23rd), I’m pleased with where I am at the moment. Not to say I’m about to become stagnant–never that–but I’m pleased with the overall state of things.

So enough with all that, let’s talk about this weekend. Methinks I’m going to the Classic. I’m trying to see how many people are coming with, so far 2. So fun. I plan to go to the parade that morning. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a parade, and the one I used to always go to is kinda hood rich (but I love it) so I’m excited that this may be a little more “big time” than I’m used to. I heard a rep of the 100 Black Men say that they flew in the Ghanaian Royal family, so that should be really cool. Of course there are free parties all weekend, so I gotta see if any of my friends are down. I’m also planning a trip to DC with two very special people for my birthday, so I’m extra excited about that. Extra extra. I hope everything falls in line. And I need to be figuring out what I will give my brother for his 18th birthday, which is 2 days after my birthday (and Thanksgiving). Any ideas? When I can afford it, I think I may start taking him different places for his birthday. I didn’t get my big brother anything for his birthday. It was Monday. But I did call and talk to him awhile. We had gotten close for awhile, but that kinda fell off. Maybe I’ll start calling for often. I was enjoying him being more like a friend brother than the big-bad-I’ll-beat-everybody-up-if-they-mess-with-you brother. But sometimes that is cool too. 🙂

Well, it’s off to the regular grind. But today seems a tad bit brighter than yesterday, and that’s always a good thing!

[lyrics for the day]
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good time. Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial. For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.
good riddance>>green day

This is a really classic song.  I guess I’ve always had good taste in music. 🙂  I’m going to live the rest of you up, 20s!


Lifting us all up

Lifting us all up

by Ranada ♥ 4 Comments

I got a couple comments offline about my iRock post that were surprisingly negative.  They were from guys who said that they were tired of us black womenfolk uplifting ourselves and what about the fellas…  Weeeeeeellllll, I didn’t know that uplifting someone equated downplaying someone else.  I believe that uplifting women is one major key to uplifting a community.  In the media, we have been hearing so much negativity, especially us educated, supposedly too independent, grouchy, emasculating, career-focused black women.  I know so many awesome black women who don’t know just how awesome they are, and in turn, the people around them don’t necessarily see how awesome they are because they downplay themselves.  So I wanted people to come on here and celebrate how they rock.  Men could too, if you rock.  We don’t hate around these parts–we acknowledge how important both men and women are to our community.  So c’mon.  Can you give us some love without feeling neglected?

Malcolm X once said that black women are the most disrespected, unprotected people in America.  Sometimes I wonder how we got to the point where YouTube video battles about the contention between black men and women became just as mainstream as harping on negative statistics about us every chance possible without providing some solution besides date whoever winks at you.  I don’t know what the solution is, but we’ve got to get back to a point where we respect each other.  I was listening to Michael Eric Dyson today, and a guest on his show, Dr. Raymond Winbush, author of The Warrior Method: A Parents’ Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys, said something that really struck a cord with me.  He said that we so often use the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but we never talk about how our village has been torn apart or about how to rebuild it. Ok, I may have added some of my own into that, but you get the picture.  I want to know how we can improve the overall relations within our community (I know not ALL people men-bash or women-bash so don’t start with me please and thanks).  How can we stop the finger pointing and start the embracing?  We all have stuff to work on–it’s not a one-sided issue.  What can we do today to ensure that our kids will respect each other?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This next video is to add to that convo about guys who love to call out women who aren’t smiling as they walk down the street. Lol–it’s not that deep on a daily basis, but still something to think about.

And y’all know I love me some good music.  This is dedicated to all my girls who rock (even if you didn’t come tell me why, lol).