Today will be a good day!

Today will be a good day!

I’m still in (hence I’m posting), but I’m not tripping since it’s 21’s bday.  I asked the Lord for patience so now I have to use it!  I’m already feeling good in the neighborhood today because they had hardboiled eggs at breakfast!!  I can’t begin to relay how much I’m TIRED of croissants, ham, and cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That’s all I’ve been eating really for like a week!!!!  And I love boiled eggs!!! 🙂  Yeah, I’m simple to please.

Today we’re going to Versailles, then to the Louvre, and then to the Latin Quarters for dinner.  It’s gonna be a GREAT day. 🙂  So far so good–incident-free in Paris!

Everywhere they hustlin’

Everywhere they hustlin’

Everywhere I’ve been, my people be hustlin!!!  I love my people, for real.  At the Tour Eiffel, you will find several people, mostly hued people, selling 1 euro Eiffel Tower keychains and other souvenirs, and in Strasbourg, I saw people of color in the plaza selling umbrellas you put on your head.  AND today in the plaza of the Louvre, a guy was “fishing” coins out of the wish pool with a magnet.  Please understand that I am not at all hating.  The only people who got on my nerves were the ones who were preying on English-speaking people by begging with a postcard with words in English.  Man, get you a hustle!  They are BALLING selling those keychains!

Today was an awesome day.  Started off very very very very slow (I hate being inside late), but we ended up going to le cathedral Notre Dame, which was even extra cool because we got there when mass started.  And a black priest was leading the service.  I prayed, prayed, and prayed in there.  Then we went to the Musee Louvre and got info on when to come back.  We plan on going tomorrow evening when it’s tres cheap. 🙂  Then we went and saw l’Arc de Triumphe.  There’s SO much to see here.  Never a boring moment.  I love it here.  Truly.  I can’t believe I’ll be home in 3 days!  Well, I’m very drowsy and I still need to get directions for our plans tomorrow.  So…  A bientot!

J’adore Paris, part deux!

J’adore Paris, part deux!

Last night after a very turbulent day, we took the Metro to Tour Eiffel and saw it in its lit up and sparkly essence.  It was an amazing experience.  I never really expected to see the Eiffel Tower in person.  I must say I’m a smidge jealous of Europeans because they get educational experiences that they can take for granted.  I would love to just randomly know history facts and jog around the Eiffel Tower as if it’s the MLK Center or something.  The historical monuments are the absolute best–the architecture is AMAZING and so symmetrical here, and it’s normal for them.  It’s normal for people to know more than 1 or 2 or maybe even 3 languages.  I wish philosophy and the classics were more included in our education.  Even when I was watching The Great Debaters, I was wishing some of those concepts were still “normal” parts of our education.  What’s going on with America?  We’re okay with not having common knowledge about stuff?  We’re okay with letting people stop at Algebra II in their education.  We’re okay with people only knowing “American history,” if ou can call the rendition we get in high school accurate.  We’re okay with people not being exposed to ideas of thought.  If I weren’t inquisitive on my own, even with 3.5 degrees, I’d be even more behind than I feel I am.

Yesterday, I bought two books, and I can’t wait to read them.  Both were published by UNESCO.  One examines poverty as a human rights issue and the other examines the transition from slavery to general bondage.  UNESCO was an amazing place to me, as was the U.S. Mission to the EU and the European Parliament and the European Commission.  The way the EU works is so interesting to me because although it works similarly to the US way of doing things, it’s so different all at the same time.  It’s very unique how these countries who have been at war off and on forever and ever work together for peace, even sometimes taking national economic hits to make it work.  On the EU councils and even at the European Central Bank, the powers that be are prevented from serving their national interests but are charged to make decisions for the good of the entire union.  They realize that long term gains come from taking short term risks and even losses.  It’s so amazing.  There are so many parties here, and there are 3 huge ones.  I’m going to research those three when I get back.  It’s crazy to me that they can get stuff done even though at least 5 languages may be spoken at a meeting so there’s a lag in communication at times.  But they make it happen.  I’m very very intrigued, if you can’t tell.  I’m unfortunately missing the lecture today, which is about how France views the EU.  But hopefully, one of my professors will fill me in.  Maybe I’ll go check out Notre Dame though.  Tomorrow I’m hoping to either visit the Louvre or Versailles.  4 more days and I’ll be hoooooome.  I’m actually ready to get home.  Honestly, my patience is wearing thin with these strangers.  But overall, I must say this trip was definitely worthwhile.  I thank God for the opportunity.  Ok, I’m out for now.

Reflections from the Road

Reflections from the Road

One thing I’ve pondered from conversation and observation with this group is that everyone wants to be liked in some capacity. No matter if you live somewhere where you park in a parking lot or if you live in Europe where people park on the sidewalk, no matter what kind of hair you have, no matter what language you speak, chances are you spend a lot of your time trying to be included. Besides love, acceptance is a concept that translates in all languages.

Including me. I just want to be loved, like Jill said. I find myself not saying what I want to say or playing nice much more often or trying not to be so literal so that I can figure out what others may mean or think I may mean. I spent so much of my life being a-okay with being a loner and the older I get, the more I crave companionship. I used to enjoy taking myself places (still do but not nearly as much), like dinner, the movies, even concerts every now and then. I’ve even gone on trips and just worried about meeting people when I got there. But now I want someone to share memories with, I want a group of stationary friends, I want to have a definite number to call (besides my mom, who I’m sure I call much more now) when I have a thought to verbalize. Who knew? It’s a quite odd feeling, and I’m not sure if I like  being so vulnerable…  I remember wondering why I was so weird when I was growing up. There was nothing like a day where I could sit under the tree in our yard or even in my closet and get away and read. And now it seems like I can’t get away from those moments. Is it time or is it just growth or is it just general change?  Was there anything wrong with the way I was? Hmm… I don’t think so.  It’s definitely much safer.

I would love to move to Europe for a stint.  I’m telling you all, Paris is absolutely breathtaking.  And between Brussels (the unofficial capitol of the European Union) and Paris, there are so many organizations here that are so relevant to my dreams that I didn’t know about until this adventure.  There was a time where I would just make it happen.  Find a job, make the plans, and execute.  Without regard for any traveling companions.  Without wondering who I would talk to when I got here.  Now?  I kinda think I would want someone to come with me.  Preferable a boo, lol, but my mom would be fine too.  But she wouldn’t want to leave my brothers, I don’t think.  So…  I’ll still be on the lookout for a position :), but I won’t be moving abruptly for sure.  We’ll see how the wind blows, or where the river takes me, as my new friend BLee would say.

I have other reflections that I’ve written manually since I was away from the computer.  I’ll decide if I’ll share.  I’ll definitely be back soon for more travel stories though. 🙂

J’adore Paris!

J’adore Paris!

This is my first full day in Paris, and I absolutely love it.  I enjoyed Brussels as well.

I have many tales and reflections to post, but no time right now.  I’m about to go on a boat tour of Paris. I’m so excited.  I want to move here or Brussels…  🙂  Be back later!

Dat New New

Dat New New

New ideas.  New opportunities.  New possibilities.  New risks.  New perspectives.  New outlooks.

I’m at yet another crossroads in my life.  While here though, I’m really trying to be satisfied.  I have a pretty good life, I must admit, but I can’t always get past disappointments.  I keep reminding myself that my “plans” were just running starts but my path is set is by the One above.  But I still can’t help but feel that I’m so behind.  I know deep down I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, but I wonder why I have such big dreams.  People seem to have different meanings of success than I do.  Everyone says I’m too hard on myself or my expectations are too stringent.  I tend to disagree, but I do acknowledge that when I get going full speed, I risk running myself ragged.  So, all that to say, I’m determined to stop and smell the proverbial roses.  I’m going to try to go with the flow.  Enjoy my life with all its qualms.  Focus on the good things and try not to spend too much time reflecting on the bad.  I’ve accomplished a lot (altho not as much as I had hoped by now), but I guess I should still be proud of what I have done and just keep striving for excellence.  It’s a process.  One day I’ll get it down pat. 🙂

I’ll be gone till November… ok, maybe just a coupla days

I’ll be gone till November… ok, maybe just a coupla days

I just got back from Frankfurt, and early tomorrow morning I’m headed to Brussels tomorrow (gonna me get me a waffle). Then we’ll be headed to Trier and then to Paris.  I’ll try to get online before Paris, but just in case, know that I’m en route and on the go, so no stories until then.  I swear I have a couple of happy stories. 🙂 Keep praying for me!

Merci beaucoup!

Merci beaucoup!

Thanks so much for all the words of encouragement!

To Ursula, un Coca is a little less strong here and the can is smaller too.  I’ve been getting Fanta Orange, which tastes different as well, but still yummy.  L’eau (water) costs money here, so I get sodas to make myself feel like I’m paying for something.  So God bless America, where the water is free.  lol

Today is my last full day in good ole Strasbourg.  Tomorrow we spend the entire day in Frankfurt, and Saturday morning, we’re off to Brussels.  I’ll be happy to say Au revoir to this place, where I’m stared at.  I will say I’m a little (un peu) excited about Paris though because one night last week when we were coming back to the Chateau from the city centre, a couple of Parisian cuties stopped to chat with us.  The group swears the one that spoke English was flirting with me, (including my hater ex who announced that my “body language completely changed… ugh) but I don’t think so.  Maybe I didn’t notice because he looked SO much like my late Uncle Lonzo so I was prolly staring at his features.  They were very nice though and gave us suggestions on a restaurant and a dance club to visit while we’re there.  If I can stay on the right side of the tracks in Paris, I think I will have an AMAZING time. 🙂

Bout to go back to lecture.  Today we’re discussing fiscal policy in the EU.  And we’re visiting the Court of Human Rights this afternoon.  🙂

S’il peut arriver, il ira faire! (If it can happen, it will!)

S’il peut arriver, il ira faire! (If it can happen, it will!)

Ok, it’s story time.  My Saturday was a full day of wake up calls, even though I’m still not convinced I needed any.  It has been the best of times and the absolute worst of times here…  and Saturday was the worst of times.

Before dinner, while lounging in the city centre of Strasbourg, I was picked out of a group of 15 people to be given a flyer for a party later that night in celebration of the abolishment of slavery.  It didn’t occur to me until the end of my disastrous night to wonder why after 160 years they’re still throwing actual parties and wondering if we should be throwing these same types of parties in the U.S.  Shortly after, I had an almost argument with one of my cohorts who felt that The Spook Who Sat by the Door shows that solving problems creates more problems, which I told her was not the point.  While trying to explain to her that the point was that to unify Black America was to create a weapon of mass destruction, she kept harping on the problems for the country it produced, which I told her was beside the point since the Institution was the enemy in the book.  OF COURSE the country would experience some problems if the Black community decided to fight back.  But whatever, right?  I stopped talking to her before it turned into a real argument because I felt it was pointless to argue with someone whose argument was based on hearsay.  This was only the beginning of the night…

Dinner was so not what’s up.  We go to this nice restaurant, and our meals were already chosen–and the choice was not cool based on what EVERYone around us was eating.  I smelled the aromas of beef stew, some nice looking casserole, and so many other things.  We were stuck eating tarte flambe, which is really just this paper thin pizza that costs 7 euro and was shared by SIX people at my table, leaving me with only 2 slices.  Then our dessert, while delish (it was an ice cream raspberry cake), paled in comparison to the trésors chocolat enjoyed by our neighbors.  So I was kinda dissapointed by that, especially since I know we probably payed much more than it was worth.

After dinner, we went for le cafe at a little shop while deciding what to do with the night.  My roommate, my new friend LT and I knew we wanted to break off from our lighter complexioned cohorts, but since we have obviously been self selecting, we decided to at least enjoy our coffee with them.  Against our better judgment we waited around after, and the madness commenced.  We were taking pics of a cathedral lit up in its beauty at night, when our cohorts saw some French teens dancing to Chamillionaire’s “Riding Dirty,” so they decided to take pics.  My roommate was lulled into the scene because our cohorts know very very little French, and she’s the resident attempter since she knows a little more and is comfortable with trying.  Being the paranoid, unconcerned, not-wanting-to-be-bothered-with-rowdy-teens person that I am, I went over to the sidelines with LT and conversed with her as we waited for the next move.  What happened between then and the next moment, I have no idea since I wasn’t even TALKING to the teens.  I suspect they felt like circus attractions and decided to eff with us.  Only, effing with us meant effing with me.  One of them, deciding he had enough of American tourists, took a bottle of water and randomly selected my head to empty it out on.  Why me?  Possibly random selection?  My theory?  I’m the darkest of our group so who better to pick on…  Honestly, I’m happy that in 06 and 07, I really worked on my temper since I don’t know the laws here and who knows what would have happened if I had lashed out, especially since they looked like orphans and may have called more.  I’m friggin notorious for fighting folks even when I know I’ll prolly lose, but I can’t be losing fights in friggin France, right??  I was so ANGRY but I felt powerless without violence.  I don’t even think I cursed because I didn’t want to even get on a small rampage.  I walked away, bewildered and wondering what the HELL I could do to release the rage I felt.  As we were walking away, the same guy splashed some water on my roommate, who was the only person who tried to be respectful and speak their language and actually try to understand them.  Words can not describe this scene accurately.  Words can not describe how crazy and unimaginable the whole scene was.  Words can not describe how I felt.  Just imagine that of 8 girls, 4 white, 1 Asian, 2 fair-skinned black girls, and moi, I was the one who was targeted.  I know there are cultural differences all over the world, but c’mon.  You cannot tell me that anywhere in the world people don’t know that black women can’t just shampoo their hair and keep it moving.  When is it EVER ok to pour water on a woman, let alone a BLACK woman who clearly has her hair done.  And again, why me?  Of the 8, 2 of us were not even paying attention to them or standing close to them to disrespect them or argue with them or anything else to instigate something like that.  And I was already sick so now I’m in the daggum chilly night dripping wet with no way to not be mad.

So we decide to go ahead and go to Le Retro so that my roommate, who I will call 21 (her line number–she’s a Delta, go figure lol) from now on, can try to calm our nerves.  The music sucked, but I will admit I wasn’t as angry by the time I left.  So to get back to the Chateau, we would have to take a train and then catch a cab.  Well…  because I was distracted by one of the girls who was dead set on meeting French guys, I wasn’t helping 21 read the train map, and she was also distracted b/c one of the girls is very very very much a talker.  So we end up going in the wrong direction, which wouldn’t be a problem during the day, but definitely is at that time of night.  The last train going in the other direction had already gone out for the day.  When we got on the train, our cohorts decide to ask help from a clearly stoned out French guy.  They said they didn’t notice his stoned out appearance and behavior.  Can you say oblivious?  By now, I’m in mission mode because I do not get lost.  So my main purpose now is to get to the Chateau.  Since he was stoned, he was not an option.  When we got off the train, after seeing that we were in largely residential area and set back from a main street, LT and I set out to find solutions.  I looked at the pay phone, realized it was impossible for me to figure it out in a timely fashion and LT looked for a train station worker.  And just to illustrate that the crazy stalker was truly not trying to help but harrass, he was standing nearby with a cell phone in his hand and could have called a taxi at any time.  Meanwhile, our cohorts are STILL talking to this fiend trying to get him to understand them and call a taxi for us.  21 is speaking pretty coherently but because she was not white, he ignored every word she uttered.  By now, LT and I have talked to a worker who said we needed to WALK back to the city center because there were no more trains and the taxis didn’t travel to that area. Now, the cracked out French hater is calling the girls stupid Americans and asking if all American women are stupid and dumb.  One of the cohorts decided she would go into a word battle with him even though she KNEW he wasn’t listening to her.  LT and I started mapping out our plan–walking toward the street lights and cars and keeping watch of police or taxis.  21 started trying to make sure one of the cohorts who was having difficulty walking was okay and trying to get the girls to ignore this guy, which did not happen because we were with totally street unsmart people who never experience trouble.  Long story short, I led a pack (my thing is, either you’re in or you’re out–I’m getting home so you can come with me or you can get abducted) keeping my eye on the train track itself knowing it was going somewhere.  LT was keeping calm and playing mother hen and trying to keep the group kinda clustered, and 21 was trying to get them to stop talking to this guy WHO WAS STILL FOLLOWING US and by then, was counting us to see if he could take us while steadily feeling his pockets…  Which to me means that he was either trying to call friends or he possibly had a weapon.  The farther we walked, the more irrational he became and the more our argumentative cohort egged him on.  I saw the train depot where the trains go at the end of the night and use my limited French to ask the operator to call us a taxi.  Feeling proud of myself, I scream to the lagging folks that it was okay and a taxi would be there soon.  Then the GUY TELLS THE OPERATOR NOT TO CALL, that we really didn’t know what we wanted and that he was handling it, and the operator started hanging up the phone.  So 21 gestured to the operator to please still call so he did.  All the while, our cohort is STILL arguing with this man.  CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!  Then he pulled out a cell phone and I notice a car in the distance RANDOMLY start up so I got in battle mode cuz my legacy was NOT ending in France.  Luckily it was a coincidence.  THEN one of the other cohorts that had done pretty good about keeping up during the walk starts to repeat “cab” to the operator who does not really speak English and who has ALREADY called the cab and was prolly getting irritated and feeling mocked.  The first taxi comes and we get the girls in that one and explain to the driver where they needed to go while making sure he understood and would go straight there and waited for the next one.  Finally, ours got there and finally the crazy azz guy leaves.  Luckily, while he spoke no English, our driver was Moroccan and NOT French and made us feel a little better about being minorities in France.  What freaks me out is that while we were still at the train station, there were people who I know spoke English and would not help this group of girls clearly being harrassed by this guy.  And it freaked me out that my control was limited in the situation because we were surrounded by girls who felt it was important to argue with someone who was pointless.  I kept trying to tell them that we should focus on our #1 goal, which was to get home, NOT trying to eradicate this guy’s hatred.  I really hate to imagine what would have happened to them if the 3 Musketeers had decided to go off on our own and celebrate the end of slavery as we had planned.  I will say our Asian friend could have held hers for awhile cuz she’s not a wuss and she was smart, but 1 smart person with 4 clueless ones?  I dunno… I just wonder why I was subjected to such foolishness when I didn’t start it and when I was trying to be proactive and away from crazy situations.  I guess I needed more confirmation that it’s okay to not be in a group sometimes.  People wonder why I’m a loner so much of the time, but CLEARLY, my being a loner is safer than being with a group of friggin risk takers who don’t even know they’re taking risks. 

So moral of the story: Don’t move to Strasbourg.  Ok, ok, that’s extreme.  But for real.  I’m sticking with my gut from here on out.  No more playing nice with the majority and trying to fit in the group.  If they want to go out and make crazy decisions, I will not suffer the consequences.  I know my place at home, and I know my place here.  I’ll go where I know I won’t be randomly victimized, and I’ll stay with people I know will make smart decisions when in a bind.  More stories to come.

I heart smart people and independent thinkers!

I heart smart people and independent thinkers!

I know I’m supposed to start telling my crazy stories, but I have to gush about this morning’s guest lecturer.  His name is Troy Davis, and he has created a Democracy Theory, which translates democracy from an absolute ideal to a set of principles.  He uses mathematical principles to create a theory which in his opinion leads to world peace.  It was the fusion of my areas of study: math, risk management and policy studies.  His lecture was absolutely amazing to me.  While there are several questions that I have about how effective or even possible policy creation and implementation will be and how it affects the black community at large, but my mind is imagining the possibilities.  I think my ideas of independence and self-sufficiency can co-exist within his framework.  I’m so excited in my gut right now that I would love to just move here and sit at his feet and learn.  Just learning about how he even positioned himself to be so “different” and be comfortable in knowing his thought process would not be easily accepted would be an intriguing lesson.  I’ve already sent him an email and we just let out of his lecture maybe an hour ago.  I hope my sidebar conversation was effective enough for him to remember me.  Oh, and thanks goes out to my mommy for naming me Ranada b/c I know he remembered me if for no other reason but his wonder in how I got my name.  I’m sure it’s very odd from a European’s perspective for a black girl from the South to be named something Latin and then respelled.  So I hope having to answer that question solidified my earlier conversation…  We’ll see.  I’m starving, so I’ll be back with stories later.  I don’t know how much later though since we’re visiting the Council of Europe today.  A bientot!